College Daze
by Agent R
Summary: Richie and his friends learn that juggling school, work, romance, being around their 'own kind', and everything in between, can be quite chaotic. Hope you enjoy.
1. Default Chapter

College Daze

"Richie, Roz Paz called last night and was wondering if you wanted to see her Friday night," Amanda said while she cooked some eggs in the frying pan.

"Amanda, why do you keep answering the phone in my room?" Richie asked.

"Because I'm usually the only one there and you don't have an answering machine," Amanda replied as she flipped the eggs onto a plate, "I don't know who's calling, that's another thing you don't have is caller I.D., if it's something important, I don't want you to miss the message."

"Who's Roz Paz?" Duncan asked.

Richie blushed as he stared down at his breakfast, it was too early in the morning and he wasn't filled with enough caffeine to be having this conversation.

"She's this girl at school who's in half of Richie's classes," Amber said, "and she looks like Cyndi Lauper in a tube top."

"Halter top," Richie corrected.

"Whatever," Amber said as she got up from the table with her plate.

"Amber, why didn't you eat your breakfast?" Amanda asked.

"I ate," Amber disagreed.

"You ate the strawberries, but you didn't touch the eggs or the sausage or the French toast," Amanda responded.

Amber looked at her for a few seconds before saying, "I hate your cooking. Especially at breakfast, I hate breakfast."

"Me too," Methos said, "I like to start off every morning with a bottle of sherry."

"I thought it was rum," Amber said.

"They discontinued the brand I like," Methos said, "so I switched to sherry."

"Kind of like me," Amber said.

"You drink in the morning too?" Amanda asked.

"No, every morning when I wake up, I drink half a bottle of Coke left over from the night before…why do you think I'm not in a bitchy mood when I come down for breakfast? It's the caffeine, caffeine makes me easy to get along with."

"In that case, I definitely think we should make a very large pot of coffee the next time we try to get Amber fitted for a dress," Duncan said.

"Mac!" Amber whined, "I told you before, I'm not wearing a dress to graduation."

"Graduation's not even for two and a half more years, why're you bringing it up?" Richie asked.

"They're not talking about that," Amber said as she sat back down at the table, "Duncan and Amanda are thinking about renewing their vows this summer and they want us to be the bride's maid and best man again."

"Mac, for crying out loud, you were married little over a year ago, get a grip. I thought people your ages didn't renew their vows for at least…a hundred years."

"Where would you get an idea like that?" Duncan asked.

"Well Duncan," Amanda said as she sat down, "they heard that from a very reliable resource, I don't want to give any names away…so follow my eyes."

Amanda, Amber, and Richie's eyes all led Duncan to the Welsh frog-head in front of him.

"What?" Methos asked.

"Methos, why do you tell them everything?" Duncan asked.

"Somebody has to," Richie said, "who better than an Immortal, and a Watcher?"

"Besides, you should be thankful that all I'm telling them about is Immortals…you should be glad I'm not telling them about your sex life," Methos said.

"What would you know about that?" Duncan asked.

"The walls in this house aren't soundproof," Amber said, "all our rooms are on the same floor, it just so happens that Methos can you better than we can."

"I don't believe this," Duncan said.

* * *

Richie's physics class had just let out, he went down the stairs to the first floor of the college, where he saw Amber standing outside her English class, smoking. 

"Aren't you supposed to be giving that report today?" Richie asked.

Amber took the cigarette out of her mouth and waved it about as she paced back and forth, "That's what I thought…five books into the series I'm reading for a report that he tells me to have ready for today. Why? Because today's the day that he collects all reports and flunks all the failures, and does he show up to class? No, where the hell is he?" Amber asked.

"Well you know," Richie said, "he and Phyllis Daltrey are seeing quite a bit of each other these days."

"Daltrey?" Amber repeated, "Daltrey? Your Phyllis Daltrey who teaches your physics class?"

"That's the one," Richie said.

"Ah ha!" Amber said as she dropped her cigarette, "So that's why you've been getting passing grades. She knows you live with him, and if he and she are doing the horizontal…"

"Hey guys!" Mizz and Jason came up, "What's going on?"

"Adam Pierson and Phyllis Daltrey are doing the horizontal tango," Amber said.

"Pierson?" Mizz repeated, "isn't he your English teacher?"

"Yeah."

"So what'd he say?" Mizz asked.

"About what?"

"About your report, it was due today wasn't it?"

"Mizz, how many times have you skipped coming to class?" Amber asked.

"This year?"

"This month."

"Seven times."

"Figures…he gets the report today, grades it tonight and returns it tomorrow, at least he would if he were here…he never showed up, Sanderson the football coach had to come in and let's face it, he speaks worse English than…well you…so I didn't bother."

Amber walked away from the English room with Richie beside her, and the guys followed them down the hall.

"Amber," Mizz said, "you doing anything Friday night?"

"Yeah, standing in between Richie and Roz, why?" Amber asked.

"You know why Roz wants him to go with her Friday night?" Jason asked.

"I have a pretty good guess."

"A bunch of us are getting together at Mandy McCloud's house."

"Who?"

"Mandy McCloud."

"Any relation to the Scottish house plant we're currently living with?" Amber asked.

"I don't think so, how do you spell his last name?"

"M-a-c-L-e-o-d."

"Then it's very unlikely," Jason said.

"How do you spell Mandy's last name?" Amber asked.

"M-c-C-l-o-u-d."

"Oh, that makes sense," Richie said.

"Yeah, in any case, a bunch of us are going in couples."

"Why? Is it a copulation party or something?" Amber asked.

"Na, nothing like that, you know a bunch of us just feel like going with someone."

"Fine, Richie, later let's swing by home, I'll bring Adam."

"You can't bring a teacher."

"You said someone, the last time I checked, that conniving Welsh gecko count as 'someone'."

As they turned in the hall, they bumped into Roz Paz and her roommate, Joanne Davis.

"Hey Richie, are we still on for Friday night?" Roz asked.

"Sure, why wouldn't we be?" Richie asked.

"Jason, you wanna go with me?" Joanne asked.

"Sure…I mean I don't have anything to do."

"What's this going to be, a party or an ark?" Richie asked.

"Well some of us want to be able to come with dates," Joanne said.

"Why?" Amber asked, "What's going to happen?"

"Well a bunch of us are going to get together at Mandy's place, and what we usually do is we sit around a table and confess our biggest secrets, stuff we usually don't tell anybody," Joanne said.

"Then I hope nobody here's Catholic," Amber said, "so many damn confessions from them there wouldn't be anything interesting to tell."

Amber headed for the exit as Mizz and Roz and Richie headed into their geography class. Joanne and Jason headed over to their art history course, "What do you think?" Joanne asked.

"About what?" Jason asked.

"You think they're doing it?"

"Richie and Roz?"

"No, Richie and Amber, think about, they live together, they share a bedroom, sometimes they sleep in the same bed, besides, they've known each other for years, why wouldn't they?"

"Yeah but they don't act like anyone would…I mean like us, they don't act like us, or even Tina and Skuzzy for that matter."

"Maybe that's just it, maybe they don't want anyone finding out," Joanne said, "think about it, their old man is a teacher here, he finds out, their asses are grass, and he's the lawn mower."

"Na, I don't think they are," Jason replied as he took out a pack of cigarettes.

"I think you'd be surprised," Joanne said, "I mean, if I had a roommate like Richie, I wouldn't hold back."

Jason had a cigarette in his mouth and he was ready to light it when she said that, "What's wrong with me?" he asked.

"I didn't say anything was wrong with you."

"Yeah, but you said if you were with someone like Richie, you'd sleep with him."

"I didn't say that, I said if I had a roommate like him I wouldn't…"

The teacher to the art history class came out and found the two bickering, "Allright you two, whatever this is over, shut the hell up and get in there, and you!" he ripped the cigarette out of Jason's mouth, "you're going to do that shit you do it off school property, you got that?"

Jason spit in his eye as they scurried in and headed to their seats.

* * *

"I'm sorry to hear that Rick Mahoney is off the team for the time being," Duncan said to Randolph Cruise, the track coach as he gathered together all the reports he'd be flunking once he got home. 

"I don't think it's a temporary thing, MacLeod," he replied, "you see, he's already had three surgeries performed on his knee, and another six to his spine."

"All from being involved in track?" Duncan asked.

"Well, you know how guys get…a few broken bones here and there…anyway, while we're trying to find a way to break the news to him, we need to find somebody else to take his place on the team…and well…we know that one of the students who attends the university is living with you, a mister Richard Ryan…and well we assumed…"

"That he'd want to take Rick's place," Duncan said.

"Right."

"Well I don't know," Duncan said, "he and Rick haven't gotten along a day in their lives since they met but, track…it isn't really Richie's thing, I don't know if he'd be interested, but I'll ask him later…but…"

"But what?"

"If he's not interested, I'll ask Amber Jenzon."

"Who?"

"Amber Jenzon, she's…well she's more up for running than Richie is, she might be interested."

"Is she attending the university?"

"Yes…she's on the wrestling team."

"We have a wrestling team?" Coach Cruise asked.

Duncan looked at him a bit surprised.

"Look MacLeod, we're getting in all new sports around here but I stick to track, I find out what it is we're supposed to do on our team, not much else…I really don't think she'd fit in if you know what I mean."

"No I don't."

"It's all guys on the team, you can imagine how awkward that would be for her to…or maybe it's not so awkward, perhaps she'd be thrilled, but we can't risk the boys' reputations for that."

"What are you saying?" Duncan asked, "are you saying my daughter is a slut?"

"I didn't say that, Mister MacLeod, so let's not jump to conclu…"

"But you're insinuating she is," Duncan said.

"I'm just saying that for the best interest in the boys we…"

"Mister Cruise, with all due respect I think you should worry a little less about the team, and a little more about your own health, because if I ever hear you talk about my daughter that way again, I'm going to come to your home and break your scrawny little neck like a twig, understood?" Duncan asked.

There was a knock at the door, Phyllis Daltrey stood outside the room, "Mister MacLeod, can I speak to you for a minute?"

"Sure…"

Duncan headed out into the hall with Phyllis, "What's going on?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Adam Pierson."

"What's he done this time?" Duncan asked.

"Well that's the thing, you see, he and I have had a bit of a relationship going since the beginning of this semester, and well we had discussed doing something Friday night, and I wanted to check with him today to see if he could make it."

"And what did he say?" Duncan asked.

"Nothing, that's the thing, I went to see him and he wasn't there, he's not anywhere in the entire building, now I know he lives with you…did you see him today before you came in to work?" Phyllis asked.

"Yes and he seemed fine," Duncan said, "I don't get it, he didn't say anything about not coming in. Are you sure you didn't just miss him?"

"Mister MacLeod, I may be getting older, but I know what he looks like, he's very hard to miss with his large nose and his tomato-like butt," she giggled.

Phyllis was a woman in her early sixties, and she saw 'Adam' as being a man in his thirties, so to her, being with him was a real treat. Very few people knew that they were going together, Duncan was one of the few who actually knew. He also knew for a woman of her age and physical build, she had an interesting build-up of energy when it came to romance, especially with Methos, for whatever reason he couldn't figure out.

"Well when I see him, I'll be sure and let you know," Duncan said, "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation…maybe he decided to give the students a surprise and HE'S playing hooky."

Phyllis laughed, "That sounds like something he'd do. Mister MacLeod, when you see him you let him know the next time I see him, I'll have my pinchers waiting for him."

Phyllis clicked the nails of her thumb and index finger together as she walked off. Duncan laughed to himself, what kind of a mess had Methos gotten himself into when he met that woman?

* * *

Richie and Amber had decided to ditch their next class and wait out the time in the restroom smoking. 

"I still can't get over it, Methos and Phyllis?" Amber asked, "That is disgusting, she's twice…well she's twice what his age should be…isn't that some kind of statutory crime?"

"That depends, you wanna go by the age he should be depending on his appearance or his personality?" Richie asked.

"What's the difference?"

"Because going by his physical appearance he's in his thirties, going by personality, he's closer to eleven…THAT would be statutory."

"I'll admit, he does have his moments…but I still can't believe he's been seeing her since January and I never knew…I mean I sleep with the guy myself half the time…"

"Doesn't he act weird?" Richie asked.

"No more than usual, usually when he's in love he acts VERY different," Amber said.

"How so?"

"Well he tries to be coy with the lady, tries to be charming, attractive…cute, when he's in love he feels like trying to pass as cute…you know, everything he ordinarily isn't," Amber said.

"Well it's different when you're with an older woman I guess," Richie said.

"I'm guessing you can't speak from experience," Amber said.

"Well not lately."

"Uh-huh," Amber took a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and slit the pack open in the middle with her knife, and she offered one to Richie before putting one in her mouth, "Rich, you know what you are?"

"What?"

Amber lit her cigarette and took a puff before holding it between her fingers, "You are the Blanche Deveraux of men."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Richie said.

"I suppose it is in a way, the only difference is you stay on your feet more than she does…but on TV, she is a woman who can have pretty much any man she wants…whereas you can have any woman you want…and you know you'll always have someone else after the last one leaves…so you don't ever have to worry about being alone…and it looks like this week, Roz Paz is the lady of your pick," Amber said.

"What about you and Mizz?" Richie asked.

"Well Mizz and I…have nothing between us whatsoever, other than a few vandalism misdemeanors here, a few good times there…trust me, I have more going with you than I do with him," Amber said, "and…well not to bring up the past but I think that's really saying something…"

Amber inhaled her cigarette once more and leaned over the sink to let the ashes fall in the drain.

"Richie…I think there's a problem."

"What's that?" Richie asked.

"Shane's been coming to this university since the beginning of the semester, and he spends most of his time either at the cemetery visiting Rachel, or down at the garage fixing cars…I've been thinking, this get-together we're going to Friday night, I think we should bring him with us," Amber said.

"Hey, there's an idea," Richie said.

"What?"

"Well you like this guy, so you and he can come together as a couple."

"I don't want to come with him as a couple, I don't want a date, I don't have a problem with being there by myself and Shane wouldn't either…Shane probably doesn't even know about it, you know how most of the students are here…they treat him like a leper, they act like he's a disease and steer clear of him."

"I still don't know how you can like this guy," Richie said.

"Oh Richie, he's harmless, he's absolutely harmless," Amber replied.

"Oh yeah? Was he harmless when he picked up the back end of my car last month?" Richie asked.

"He was trying to get your attention because you were going to be driving on two flat tires," Amber said, "honestly Richie, this is the reason why I didn't want to tell you about him in the first place, because I knew you wouldn't like him."

"Is that why you also haven't told Mac or Amanda or Methos that you were with him before he enrolled here?"

"Yes, because if I'd told them, they wouldn't have liked him, they'd have thought that we were dating and they would've done everything possible in the world to keep us from seeing each other, even though there is not now nor has there ever been nor will there ever be anything even remotely romantic between us," Amber said.

"So why don't you tell them that?" Richie asked.

"Give me a break, Duncan has used every line in the book when it comes to women, and every excuse to get out of a mess that involves them, he'd never believe it," Amber said, "besides, I don't need to tell them…it's nothing that they need to know."

"I don't think they'd see it that way," Richie said.

"Well that's why they're never going to find out," Amber said.

They both dumped the rest of their cigarettes in the sink and turned on the faucet to wash the contents down the drain, a few seconds later, Duncan entered the restroom and found them standing by the sinks.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"Well we were…we were…" Amber said.

"You were what?" Duncan asked.

The clock on the bathroom wall sounded off, indicating it was noon.

"We were saved by the bell," Richie muttered as they hurried out of the room.

As Richie and Amber made their way over to the cafeteria, they saw Shane standing in the middle of the room, rubbing his head. They both made their way over to the freakishly huge Immortal to see what was the matter.

"Hey Shane, what happened to you?" Amber asked.

"I hurt my head," he replied, "I was up on the second floor when four guys from the football team came out of nowhere and tackled me. It sent me back a few feet, and I busted the glass in the door to the dean's office with my head…the next thing I knew, I was looking in at him, and he got up from his desk and shook his fist at me and he said 'Ro-a-ohhhhohhhhhhhah!' and he chased me down here, then he had the janitor come to clean up the glass and put in a new window."

Amber and Richie, not fully believing the story went over to where the dean's office was, and sure enough, the window in his door had been busted.

"I don't believe it," Richie said, "if it were me, I'd be bleeding all over the place."

"If that were you, you would've stabbed yourself in the neck," Amber added, "Shane are you sure you're allright?"

"Oh yeah, I just bumped my head on the way in," he insisted.

* * *

"Mister MacLeod, you know that boy, would you tell him to watch where he is going the next time and not going where he looks?" the dean asked. 

"Why is it every time a kid does something around here, they want me to do something about it?" Duncan asked.

"Because you're the only teacher he has who isn't scared of him," the dean answered.

"Are you sure he did it purposely?" Duncan asked.

"Whether or not he did is irrelevant, the point is he shouldn't have done it."

"But if he couldn't help it, then it isn't his fault."

"The hell it isn't, Mister MacLeod, no student here likes attending here, you know they all do something to show for it. Take that daughter of yours."

"Why does everyone bring her up when there's trouble?" Duncan asked.

"Last Saturday night, she and that Mizz kid stripped my car, spray painted graffiti all over my home, and when I came out to stop them they threw rotten oranges at me," he said.

"What did you do?" Duncan asked.

"Nothing, she's your daughter, I thought…"

"Okay, Amber's one thing, what about Mizz? Did you call his parents?"

"I don't know where he lives, or what his parents are like, hell MacLeod, I don't even know if that thing HAS parents. And that's not my problem, the problem is that if he does have parents, they need to lay down the law with him before the law lays him down."

"He is nineteen years old, I think he's a bit past the age where his parents are going to be telling him much of anything about right and wrong," Duncan said.

"Well that's not my problem, my job is to keep the students around here in control, if they slip out of control, it's on my ass, what they do at home is their own business, but I don't want them coming here and ruining our school," he replied.

"Well what they did last Saturday night wouldn't count as anything they did at home OR at school, so you're out of luck there," Duncan said.

"Look MacLeod, I know you don't pay much attention to what goes on in your own kids' lives, but we can't have them coming to our school and acting like a bunch of retarded, redneck hillbillies with no manners and no respect to anyone around them."

"What gives you the right to call them retarded?" Duncan asked.

"I'm the dean, I can say anything about any kid we have here, however I want," he replied, "and there's nothing anyone can do about it."

Duncan grabbed the dean by his shirt and thrust him against the wall hard, "If you think my kids are nightmares, just wait until school's over and you have to deal with me off the property."

Duncan let go of the dean and he slowly moved away from Duncan. At that time, Phyllis came into the office looking frantic, "Mister MacLeod."

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"I don't know what to do…I've looked all over the college, and I can't find Mister Pierson…I called his home phone number, his cell phone number…I did everything I could think of and I still can't find him!"

"Oh yes, Mrs. Daltrey."

"MISS Daltrey," Phyllis corrected, "I wouldn't be seeing someone if I were married," she muttered to Duncan, "Although one look at Adam would be enough for me to get a divorce if I were married."

"We've been meaning to talk to you about your 'personal friend', Mister Pierson, I'm quite thrilled to announce that he won't be teaching here anymore."

* * *

Amber dashed out of the college with Richie right behind her, she dumped her books into the back seat of his car and slipped in the passenger seat. 

"Come on Richie, let's go."

"Amber, are you crazy?" Richie asked.

"Richie, something has to be wrong, he never came in today, I can't find him anywhere…we'll get home and see if he's there, come on, let's move," Amber said.

Richie ran around to the driver's seat and started the engine.

"You think he got challenged?" Richie asked.

"I don't know, let's get home and see what's going on," Amber said.

The dean watched from his office on the second floor as they drove off the campus grounds. He checked his clock, ah ha, this would be going on the record, he opened a folder and checked their names on a list: Richard Ryan, Amber Jenzon, and he wrote beside their names: leaving campus grounds uninformed, 12:47 P.M.

Duncan had seen them leave and was going right after them, he threw on his coat and got out to his car and followed them, staying far enough behind that they wouldn't notice.

Richie's car swerved to meet the curb as he parked it, he and Amber slipped out and ran into the house, they stopped in the doorway to the living room and were relieved to see Methos on the couch, but they were surprised to see what looked like him being comforted by Amanda, who kept one hand placed behind his neck, and the other rubbing his back in small circles.

"Methos!"

Both the older Immortals looked up at the kids, who both sprang forth and tried to jump on Methos as they grabbed him.

"Are you allright?" Amber asked.

"You never came in today man, we were worried sick," Richie said, "What happened? Did someone challenge you?"

"No," Methos replied, "although I wish I had been, at least I could have something to feel better about."

"What's wrong?" Richie asked.

"Well Richie, your cousin got some bad news today…" Amanda said as she removed her hands from behind Methos' neck and back, "It seems that the dean found out that he and Miss Daltrey the physics teacher were together and informed Methos that his services as a teacher were no longer needed."

"What?" Amber asked.

"They fired him because they don't like the idea of him dating another teacher," Amanda said.

"How come?" Amber asked, "It's not like he's a student, for God's sake, what's wrong with one teacher dating another teacher?"

"I think they did it for several reasons," Methos said, "first you could take the fact that the way they see it is a 62 year old woman dating a 33 year old man…or perhaps because they believe that teachers shouldn't interact with one another because it might influence the students' lives…or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm related to the student she's been giving passing grades to in her physics class."

"I don't believe this," Richie said as he sunk down on the couch.

Amanda glanced at her watch, "What're you doing home so early? It's only 1:15."

"We were worried sick, we couldn't find Methos anywhere," Richie said.

"Besides, I really don't think it matters too much whether or not we stay as long as we should, the dean's already likely to toss our hides out as well," Amber said.

"What?" Amanda asked.

"You weren't in Amber's English class so she didn't go in, she didn't go to any of her classes that you were teaching," Richie said.

"Methos, are you going to be allright?" Amber asked.

"Yes, I've just been downing a bottle of sherry to celebrate my dismissal…damn it…" Methos dug his fingers through his hair until they found his scalp, "I'm sorry. I just can't believe what's happened…it's not like I was sleeping with one of the students for crying out loud, it's not as if I were getting personal information on the other staff members to blackmail them, although that thought has come to mind very often…I think I'm in a bit of shock."

"It's allright Methos, you'll find another job in no time," Amanda assured him.

"I know, but I liked this job…it's one thing to have family members you always have around but you never see…I have one living relative left in my life…I'd like to enjoy being around him…besides, I've grown quite fond of some of the other demons at the school."

"That does it," Amber said, "Dean Crestwood is gonna die."

"What happened to Dean Thatcher?" Amanda asked.

"A student got in a fight with him and…cracked three of his ribs…" Methos said, "that college goes through deans more than you go through Duncan's credit cards."

* * *

"Where are they?" Duncan asked as he came through the door. 

"What?" Amanda asked.

"Not what, who?" Duncan replied as he went into the living room, he found Amanda resting on the sofa.

"Whom."

"Amanda, quit with the grammar games, where are they?" he asked.

"If you mean Richie and Amber, they came home, found Methos wasn't dead, and after splitting a bottle of sherry, they took Methos out."

"Out where?" Duncan asked.

"They wanted to take him out to celebrate his getting fired from work and not just quitting…did you find out why they fired him?"

Duncan sighed as he fell on the couch beside Amanda, "They think his being with Phyllis Daltrey desecrates the school's public image."

"Public image my ass, what kind of image does it give them that they're running out of new deans to replace the others who disappear for whatever reason they do?" Amanda asked.

"Well, I looked into it and there are some other relations between teachers, but they're more on an equal age level and they don't have any relatives as students," Duncan explained, "it turns out that they just don't like Methos."

"What about Phyllis?" Amanda asked.

"They told her she can keep her job providing that she doesn't see him anymore, so she looked at the dean, told him to 'fuck off' and left letting out some kind of call of the wild…roughly around mating season she said."

"Methos, the world's oldest man, and Phyllis Daltrey, a woman in her sixties with the estrogen of a 19-year-old…what could possibly get these two together?" Amanda asked.

"I'm not sure, but I guess we should be happy for them," Duncan said.

"What did the dean have to say about Richie and Amber?" Amanda asked.

Duncan reached into his coat and pulled out a folder and dropped it on the coffee table, "Why don't you see for yourself?"

* * *

"To wisdom and persistence, to stubbornness and revenge." 

"To you, Adam," Amber and Richie said in unison as the three clanked their glasses together.

They downed their drinks and went back to their meals. Amber and Richie had taken Methos out to a fairly new restaurant, it was nothing fancy, but it was prestigious enough you didn't have to worry too much about finding anything in your food.

"Methos, can I say something?" Amber asked.

"Have you ever done anything else?" he smirked, "What is it?"

"I just feel bad that you got fired, you were good at that school, hell, you kept me in class more than I'm staying now."

"Well Amber, not too much about the classes is going to change, you can still attend them," Methos said.

"Yeah, but I don't feel like it without you there…you make it interesting, you keep us awake…you're the craziest professor we've had and I admire that in you."

"Well thank you…you know I wish I could get back into that job myself, I like working around you nightmares."

"Well we like having you there," Richie said.

"Oh well, there's hundreds of jobs out there, I'm sure one of them is just screaming for someone like me to come along and take it," Methos replied.

"You could teach at another university, Amber and I can drop our stuff here and go to another one," Richie said.

"I don't know…"

"No really, it'd be fine with me," Amber said as she stuck her fork against her food repeatedly, "At the rate I'm going, I don't have all that much to drop here anyway."

A waiter came up to their table to see if there was anything else they needed.

"Yeah, how about another bottle of this fancy-shmancy champagne?" Amber asked.

The waiter did a double take when he looked at Amber, "Ma'am, are you old enough to drink?"

"Of course she is," Richie answered for her, "we all are…"

"I'd like to see her I.D.," the waiter said.

"She doesn't have it on her," Methos said.

"What?" the waiter asked.

"She used to keep it with her driver's license, then she lost her license for reckless driving, so she doesn't carry her I.D. on her anymore either," Richie explained.

"If she were to end up in an accident and be found with no I.D. on her and no one to identify her body…" the waiter chimed in.

"That would never happen," Methos said, "she never goes anywhere alone, she's practicing to be a nun."

The waiter looked at Amber not believing the story, "You're Catholic?"

"No, Sinead O' Connor follower…uh…prior to her becoming a 'recovering Catholic'. You know, when she ripped the pope, that's what I'm following," Amber explained.

"Ah, of course…" the waiter said as if understanding.

The waiter made an unusual look as he left them to bring another bottle.

"You know what, you conniving Welsh gecko," Amber said as she leaned back in her chair, "I think this is the best thing that could happen to us."

They heard a loud "Woo!" come from the entrance to the room.

"Maybe not," Methos replied.

They all turned and saw Phyllis coming into the room and over to their table, "Adam, my little Welsh lizard…there you are!"

"Oh man," Richie laughed, "I think we better get out of here."

He and Amber got up from their chairs as she got behind Methos and put her hands on his shoulders. "Adam Pierson I've been looking all over town for you."

Her fingers found their way to his cheeks and pinched hard. "I missed you too, Phyllis," he said.

Phyllis let go of his face and made her way over to an empty chair at the table, "I found out from Mizz that you were down here, how are you doing?" she asked.

"Oh just fine," Methos said, "unemployed and getting old, how's your job doing?"

"What job? I quit working there…they wouldn't let me work there if I continued to see you, so I just told them to fuck off and I left…this is one of the happiest days of my life," she said.

"Why?" Methos asked, "I mean, how can it be? You lost your job, you…"

"Adam, I retired…and besides, I can celebrate it with you while you look for a new job," she explained.

"You think we should tell her?" Richie asked Amber.

"Tell me what?" Phyllis asked.

They looked at her for a minute before answering, "We were going to try and get Adam his job back at the college," Richie said.

"Well…" Phyllis started, a bit shocked, "Adam, you do realize that we wouldn't be able to be together, don't you?"

"Yes of course," Methos replied, "which is why I'm not sure I even want to go back to that job…don't get me wrong," he said as he faced the kids, "I enjoy working around you, but the very idea of having to give up my…private life…well it doesn't exactly have me banging down their door to let me back in."

"We understand," Amber said.

"Well Adam, what is this?" Phyllis asked as she noticed the semi-fancy meal.

"Oh just a little celebration in honor of my dismissal," Methos replied, "another bottle of champagne is on the way if you'd care to join us."

"I think I'd like that," she replied, "but Adam, really, if this is going to be a celebration you might want to make it a bit fancier…now I've been here before, they have some pretty fancy French mints that can be very…enjoyable if you know what I mean."

"I think I do," Methos said, turning a bit red in the face, "but you do realize that there are young ones present?"

"Oh sure, we'll order enough for everyone," Phyllis said.

"That's not what I meant," he replied.

"Oh give me a break Adam, they're only young once, they might as well enjoy it, and you should know some of the advantages to being young," Phyllis giggled.

"Yes, but Phyllis, they aren't…"

"What Adam means is that," Richie thought for a minute, "aphrodisiacs have a bit of an odd effect on us."

"Ah, youth," Phyllis said, "when you're your ages, everything has an odd effect on you…when you get to be my age…you're used to everything, especially the aphrodisiacs…" she turned to Methos and said a bit louder, "speaking of aphrodisiacs, I went to one of those adult toy stores yesterday and…"

"I think you'll have to excuse us," Richie said as he pushed his chair back to get up, "I really don't feel comfortable listening to this."

"Nonsense, it's perfectly natural," Phyllis replied, "you think just cuz you get over the age of 50 that you can't have a normal, healthy, active sex life like you do in your 20s?"

"Oh believe me ma'am, we know that's not true," Amber replied, "it's just that…well Richie and I realize some people get uncomfortable speaking about their sex lives with others listening."

"Oh poffee cot," Phyllis said, "I don't get uncomfortable with other people hearing about it, and if _they_ get uncomfortable hearing it, they can just stop listening. Now come on you two, sit down."

Richie and Amber, reluctantly sat back down as the waiter came back with the champagne.

"To whom do I serve this?" he asked.

"Just put it over here," Methos said.

The waiter set the bottle down on the table by his plate and headed back into the kitchen.

* * *

"What're you going to do?" Amanda asked. 

"I'm not sure there's much I can do," Duncan replied, "unless you'd prefer I lose my job as well."

"Well, maybe you should," Amanda thought, "let's face it Duncan, you've had better jobs."

"Yes, but not one that I can keep as good an eye on the kids as I do now," Duncan said.

"It wouldn't matter to them."

"No but it matters to me," Duncan replied.

The front door opened and they heard Richie, Methos, and Amber all enter the house, talking over each other, for whatever reason they were, and it was impossible to determine what anyone was saying. They all came into the living room and made themselves comfortable, Methos on the couch beside Duncan and Amanda, Amber and Richie on the chairs across from them.

"How'd it go?" Amanda asked.

No one said anything and Richie and Amber looked at each other, as if they were trying to decide what to say.

"What's wrong?" Duncan asked.

"Nothing," Richie said, "It's just that Miss Daltrey came down to the restaurant and she's…"

"I don't care if she is past menopause, that woman has more estrogen than a sorority house," Amber said, "she wouldn't stop talking about sex and her love life and she said everything loud enough for everyone in the whole restaurant to hear her. She ordered these French aphrodisiacs and offered some to the rest of us as."

"Did they work?" Amanda asked.

"Thankfully not," Amber replied, "How are things going here?"

"Well I think you'll be surprised to find out that the dean has unlawfully harassed and ridiculed Methos in addition to firing him."

"Huh?" Richie asked.

"There is no rule that teachers can't be together in their private lives, on the campus grounds, or anywhere else…he just did it because he doesn't like Methos," Duncan explained.

"I had a feeling something was a miss," Richie said.

"Yeah and her name is Phyllis Daltrey," Amber said.

"Amber…"

"Why don't you two go find something to do?" Amanda asked, "We'd like a word with Methos alone."

"Fine with me," Richie said.

"Me too."

Richie and Amber had gone out to meet with some of their friends at a diner, on the way out, Amber caught an envelope addressed to them. It was a letter from Jeremy.

* * *

"Listen to this," Amber said as they headed into the diner, "'Dear Mommy and Daddy, Having good time in 'Gorga', but Michelle isn't as fun as you. They have a lot of rules here, and I get in trouble a lot. When is you coming to sea me? Love, Jeremy', well his print is improving, but he sure needs to work on his spelling." 

"So when **are** we going to see him?" Richie asked.

"I don't know, I haven't had a chance to discuss it with Methos yet," Amber replied.

Richie parked the car and they headed into the diner, they found a booth where they'd be noticeable when their friends arrived. A waitress came up to their booth and took their orders, while they waited on their food, they heard Shane as he came into the place. He was making a bunch of excited incoherent noises as he made his way over to the booth. He slammed down onto Amber's booth and brought the other end of it up before it hit the ground again.

"Shane, what's got you so happy?" Amber asked.

Shane showed them a flyer for a bicycle race the following weekend.

"Do you think I could enter?" he asked.

"Do you have a bike?" Richie asked.

"No, but I know where to get one," Shane replied.

"Shane, have you ever been on a bike before?" Amber asked.

"No, should I have?" Shane asked.

"It helps," Richie said.

"Oh well, I have a week and a half to learn," Shane said, "besides, how hard could it be?"

"Providing it's not a European bike, there should be little trouble at all," Amber murmured.

"What's wrong with those?" Richie asked.

"You can get torn up on them, trust me, I've seen it, long bloody gashes all over your body, possibly broken bones, joints bending the wrong way for months…I've seen it happen to all sorts of people who've been riding those things, it ain't worth it."

"I'm going to look into it, I haven't been in a race since…never," Shane realized.

"How come?" Richie asked.

"Nobody would compete with me, they all said I was too ugly to be seen in public," Shane explained.

"Ah come on, I bet you were quite a looker when you were younger," Amber said.

"Na, not really, as a child I looked like Jason Voorhees before he drowned," Shane replied.

"We knew a guy like that back in Jersey," Amber said, "Everybody gave him hell about it, so he beat them to bloody pulps…is that what you did?"

"Na, my mom says 'if they want to waste their times making fools out of their own selves by bothering us, it's their problem, not ours'. Besides, I beat up some of the guys who annoyed the hell out of me, but my mom said I couldn't fight girls."

The waitress came back with five cokes and two sandwiches before she headed back to the kitchen.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Shane added, "I overheard the track coach, and Duncan talking about needing a new member on the track team. The coach told Duncan to ask you and see if you wanted to try out…"

"That's insane," Richie said.

"I'll say," Amber added.

"Well if you don't want it, could I try out?" Shane asked.

"Knock yourself out buddy boy," Amber replied, "although I don't know why you'd want to…"

"For the competition, now that I'm…a bit easier on the eyes, I want to get out in the open and compete…it's in my blood my mother said."

"I don't know about that," Richie said, "back then you may have looked like Jason Voorhees, that's more understandable when you're a kid. Now you're in your early 20s and you look like Victor Kruger."

"Who's that?" Shane asked.

"The Kurgan, Connor MacLeod defeated him in 1986 in New York, he was something…he beat up Connor, rammed his sword right through this other guy…he scared nuns, that part I actually liked about him," Amber said.

"Amber," Richie said.

"And his confession at the church…that was hysterical…'Forgive me father, I am a worm'…You know Shane, if I didn't know any better I'd almost swear he was your father."

"That's impossible," Richie said, "Immortals can't have kids and every Immortal and every Watcher knows that."

"Yes but Richie, you never know, the Kurgan was a very unusual Immortal, he may have been the exception to that rule," Amber said.

"I highly doubt it," Richie replied.

The three of them felt the presence of two other Immortals, Yvonne and Mizz came through the door and joined them at the booth.

"Hey guys, are we late?" Yvonne asked.

"Not by much," Amber answered.

"So what's going on?" Mizz asked.

"Well Shane's going to be entering that bicycle race next Saturday for one thing," Amber said, "show them the flyer."

* * *

Phyllis had come by the house with a bottle of champagne to celebrate her and Adam's dismissal from the college and also Phyllis' retirement. She didn't mind the extra company, but Duncan and Amanda had left to give them some privacy. Now they were both seated on the couch with two drinks poured. 

"Here's to us," Phyllis said as she raised her glass.

Methos nodded as he picked up his glass, "To us," he repeated.

They clanked their glasses together and drank, Phyllis giggled over her drink as she swallowed it.

"Adam, there's something I want to tell you," she said.

"Oh no," Methos groaned, "you're not pregnant are you?"

"Not yet," she grinned, "but I've still got time…anyway I wanted to tell you that I enjoy your company very much! You certainly know how to make an old woman feel young."

"You're not old," Methos said, he left out the rest of his thought, not compared to me anyway.

"Well anyway, I've known you since the beginning of the semester, and I think that's enough time for me to wait and see what happens," she said.

At that time, the door swung open as Duncan and Amanda, and Richie and Amber came in and walked in on them.

"Adam Pierson, would you make an old woman even happier and do me the honor of marrying me?" she asked.

Amanda and Richie answered "yes" at the same time that Duncan and Amber answered "no". Everyone looked at each other, and then over at Methos, who said nothing and instead fell off the couch and fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

"Marriage, is she crazy?" Duncan asked.

"She'd have to be to like him in the first place," Amber said.

"And you!" Duncan poked his finger against Richie's stomach, "What's the big idea of saying yes?"

Richie shook his head, "Just came out."

Duncan grunted as he went back to pacing back and forth in the kitchen.

"Mac calm down, you're going to wear a hole in the floor," Amber said, "now we don't know how he's going to answer her when he comes to. Maybe we'll get lucky and the fall will have given him amnesia."

"I highly doubt it," Duncan said, "what if he says yes? HOW can he say yes?" Duncan asked himself, "does he realize what he'd be getting himself into?"

"Hey Mac, incase you forgot he hasn't found a place to live on his own at, so I think we need to consider what he'd be getting all of us into," Amber said.

Amber slapped Richie in the back of the head, "Why'd you have to say yes? You've evened the score."

"What?"

"It's Mac and me against it, you and Amanda for it, and Methos hasn't decided yet," Amber said.

"Well I don't know…maybe she should find out about Immortals…I mean she's lived to be 62 so far, by now she should know how to keep her mouth shut," Richie said.

"Hello!" Amber replied, "Are you forgetting who we're talking about? This woman will bellow in public about her sex life, what makes you think she'd be quiet about this?"

They heard a noise coming from the living room and they hurried in there, they saw Phyllis on top of Methos' body, which had been laid out on the couch, she was trying to wake him up, and Amanda was standing right behind the arm of the couch his head laid on, she picked up a glass of the champagne and threw it on his face.

Methos started coughing and he opened his eyes and saw the two women looking at him, he screamed and rolled off the couch and fell on the floor again.

"Not again!" Richie groaned.

Amber ran over to him and pushed him back up on the couch, "You allright frog head?" she asked.

"I think so," he said. Methos turned to Phyllis and said, "Phyllis…did I hear right? Did you ask me to marry you?"

"That's right lover boy," Phyllis grinned as she snaked her hand up to his thigh.

Methos turned away and gritted his teeth as his eyes went wide. He was really at a loss for words here.

"Oh boy," he muttered, "Phyllis, I'm a bit concerned about this."

"Why? You don't think white would be appropriate for the wedding?" Phyllis asked.

"Oh believe me," Methos sad, "that's the least of my worries."

"Phyllis," Duncan stepped in, "Are you sure about this? I mean you've only been with Adam for about five months now, don't you think you should wait a while longer?"

"Why wait? You know my motto, get it while you can because tomorrow may be the last day of the rest of your life," Phyllis said, "now I'm not getting any younger, and I like the experience of being with a younger man…"

"Yes but I'm not sure Adam is ready for all the experience you've had," Amber stepped in, "I mean…at least before you go into marriage, consider getting him more familiar with…what you know."

Methos looked at Amber with an accusing eye, she shrugged her shoulders seeing as how they were all at a loss of what to do.

"Well," Phyllis said, "I guess I did bring this on a bit suddenly…Adam, when you find yourself another job and you kind of have an idea what you're doing with your life, why don't you let me know what you want to do?"

"Phyllis, I…"

"Now I'm not saying this is it, but maybe we should take things a bit slower," she said, "would you like that?"

Methos nodded before he could even think of an answer, "Yeah I…I think I would…"

"Well I…I guess I should've seen this coming," Phyllis said, "Adam, I wanted to ask you out Friday night…if you're willing, the offer still stands."

Methos nodded again, "Sure Phyllis…sure…what time do you want me to get you?"

"Oh no, my dear lizard lips," she said, "I'm going to come and get you…well I suppose I should be going now, it's certainly been an interesting day."

Phyllis got up and headed for the door, leaving the five Immortals to themselves.

"Well that's a relief," Amanda said.

"Tell me about it," Richie said, "if it were possible, I'd almost swear I was having a heart attack."

"Why you?" Amber asked, "You're the one who said yes!"

"Well…"

* * *

Richie had gone over Jeremy's letter again before decided what to write in response. He found the time later that afternoon.

'Dear Jeremy,

Sorry pal, but we don't know when we'll be able to come and see you, we haven't decided on the right time just yet. It's got to be at a time that works for you, us, and the people we're both living with. Nice to know you're getting along with Michelle, but you have to understand pal, the reason she's not as fun as us is because she's giving you more rules down there, because she actually knows what she's doing. You learn to follow those rules, and I guarantee you'll be a lot better off. Of course that doesn't mean you should turn into an old goat like your grandfather, nobody wants that. Things have been pretty busy up here, but I'll tell you about that another time.'

The door to the bedroom opened as Amber came in wearing a bathrobe, "Don't bother with taking a shower, the hot water's gone out again," she said.

"Fine with me," Richie said, "I don't bathe this night of the week anyway."

"Richie, what're you doing?"

"I'm writing a letter to Jeremy, anything you want to say to him?" Richie asked.

"Yeah…tell him his uncle almost married a woman old enough to be HIS grandmother," Amber said.

"Amber…"

"Allright, allright…tell him about Shane and that bicycle race he's entering next Saturday…that should give him something to think about."

"Right…"

Richie scribbled the message down on the letter, "So Amber, what're you doing tonight?"

"Looking for a job," Amber replied.

"How come?" Richie asked.

"Because, I gotta get a new car, nothing personal Richie, but I'm sick of hitching a ride with you all the time," Amber said.

Amber took off her robe and got dressed, Richie paid little attention although he certainly didn't mind looking now and then.

"Is that why you got cleaned up today?" Richie asked.

"Yeah…you know how these places are, before they'll even consider you, you gotta look like a million bucks and have the experience like you don't even need the job," Amber replied.

"So what kind of work are you looking for?" Richie asked.

"Anything I can take that doesn't require a resume, a letter of recommendation from a previous employer, nothing that I have to take my clothes off in and nothing that I have to work 20 hours a day," Amber said.

"What's left?" Richie asked.

"I swear Richie, if there's a job out there I can do, I'll find it," she said, "after all, college isn't getting me anywhere."

"I doubt any of us are getting anywhere from it," Richie replied, "especially with Dean Crestwood…I hate him!"

"We all do, Richie…next time I'm not going to throw rotten oranges at him, next time I'm throwing bricks."

Amber headed over to the window and opened it, "Where're you going?" Richie asked.

"I'm getting out of here before Amanda comes in saying dinner's ready," Amber replied, "I don't know what we're having tonight, but if Amanda cooked it, well…I'd sooner eat the fish and rice they serve in prison."

Amber slipped out the window and down to the ground to get her bike. Richie didn't try to stop her, he had to agree, Amanda's cooking was the pits. He finished his letter to Jeremy and put it on his dresser, he'd get it mailed out first thing in the morning. As he did that, the phone by his bed rang, he plopped down on the bed and answered it, "Hello?"

"Richie."

"Roz, what's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming out and seeing me tonight."

Richie thought for a minute, he didn't have too much work to do tonight that he couldn't sneak out afterwards.

"Sure, what time?"

"Ten."

"Sure, I can do that…you want me to pick you up at your place?" Richie asked.

"Actually Richie, I was thinking we could stay in tonight."

"Well sure, if you want to."

"Trust me Richie, I think it would be best."

* * *

"How's the coffee tonight?" the man asked.

"It's fresh, that's all I can tell you," Amber said.

Amber poured the man a cup so he could try it for himself, he sipped it and spit it out, "That's awful! You call that coffee?"

"I'm also calling you a man, doesn't necessarily mean it's true," Amber said.

"Waitress!" another man called.

"What is it?"

"This sandwich is dry, take it back and make a fresher one."

"It looks fine to me," Amber said.

"It is not fine, the bread is stiff and the meat is dry."

Amber stuck her finger in the middle of the sandwich, "Feels pretty moist to me."

"Miss, what the hell kind of waitress are you?" he asked.

"One who's about to put your unappreciative ass in the hospital, that's what the hell kind," Amber answered.

"Waitress!"

Amber grunted as she headed over to table 6. "What is it?"

"This spoon is dirty, bring me a clean one."

"Fine."

Amber took the teaspoon into the kitchen and came back with a ladle, "Here's your clean spoon!" she bellowed as she tossed it at the customer, breaking the coffee cup and saucer.

"Miss!"

"Man, you should have roller skates come with this outfit," Amber said as she hurried over to the counter, "Yes?"

"This sandwich is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen," the man said.

Amber could tell he was a neurotic from the way he acted around the sandwich, Amber picked it up, took off the top piece of bread and looked, tomatoes, bacon, lettuce, mustard, onions, baloney, cheese, and mayonnaise.

"What's wrong with it?" Amber asked.

"The lettuce is brown, the tomatoes are yellow, that mayonnaise smells rotten, and the mustard is chunky. Please, take it back and bring another one."

"You asked for this sandwich now either you eat it or you wear it," Amber said.

Just then the manager came out to see what all the commotion was about, "What is going on around here?"

"This idiot doesn't know what's good for him," Amber said.

"What about that mess over at table 3?"

"The guy didn't like the coffee so he spit it out."

"Well aren't you going to clean it up?" the manager asked.

"What? It's not enough I serve them the crap, I gotta clean up after them?" Amber asked.

The manager sighed, "Miss Jenzon…if you can't go through a simple test like this, what makes you think you can handle a real job?"

"What do you want from me? This isn't Roseanne Barr's home, it's a simple all-night diner, you think shit like this is really gonna happen?"

"Yes."

"Well you can do it without me then," Amber told him.

Amber tore off her apron and the white shirt she was required to wear and headed for the exit, she passed by a guy sitting at the counter and she slapped him on the shoulder, "See ya later, Morty."

"Allright."

* * *

Duncan entered the living room looking vexed beyond words, Amanda noticed it immediately, "What's wrong?"

"Well, I just got off the phone with the dean, and he has had me fired for stealing the college files he keeps on the students."

"What?" Amanda asked.

"It's no requirement to have those records on the students, how they act, when they leave, what they do, but he keeps them all written down in those files and he sees them as being reason enough to kick Richie and Amber, and several other students out."

"He can't do that, can he?"

"No, but he has, and it seems anyone who could dismiss him from his job is going to take his word over mine," Duncan said.

"I don't believe this."

"Yeah, a fine thing…first Methos gets fired for seeing Phyllis, now I've gotten fired, come first thing tomorrow Dean Crestwood is probably going to have half the school expelled…where's Richie? Maybe I can break the news to him now."

"He's not here," Amanda said, "he left about an hour ago to see Roz Paz."

Duncan repeated the girl's name as he dug through the stolen files again.

"What are you doing?" Amanda asked.

Duncan pulled up a file and read it loud enough for Amanda to hear, "Roz Paz, born May 29th, 1978, enrolled in the university January of 2000, cited fifteen times for smoking, two for drinking, four for leaving the campus grounds early, nine for failing to show up all-together, supposedly she was pregnant back in '96, nothing concrete on that however…"

"Duncan, you're not thinking…"

"What? Oh no, of course not, never, and in the same instant, hmmmmmm."

"Duncan MacLeod if you think Richie's asking for trouble seeing Roz, I think you should think again…I've met her before, she seems fine to me."

"All the same, I wish Richie would start seeing someone who's not so likely to hurt him," Duncan said.

"He'll be fine," Amanda said, "he has been before…think about it, how many relationships has he had that never worked out?"

Duncan tried to think, he lost count after thirty, Richie just seemed like the type of person who would never actually have someone who stayed, as horrible as that was to say about him. His concentration was interrupted when he heard Amanda laughing, "What?" he asked.

"I just thought of something," Amanda said, "suppose in seven years, Michelle brings Jeremy back up here, and all that legal mumbo jumbo is taken care of, and he can live with Richie and Amber?"

"Yeah, so?" Duncan asked, not getting where she was going.

"Well by that time I'm figuring, not only will Methos be married to a senior citizen who although she's younger than he is, seems more like she's old enough to be his mother, and since Methos is Richie's cousin, that would make Phyllis cousin to a boy young enough to be her grandson, but also Richie, the boy we think of as our son might marry Roz while he and the girl we think of as our daughter have never been married, but they would already be mother and father to a thirteen year old son. Keep in mind by the time that happened, Richie would be 32 and Amber would be 24, I think that would officially make us THE trashiest, redneck hillbilly family in all the country."

Duncan couldn't help laughing at the thought himself, all these people, related and unrelated, mixed into one big dysfunctional family. The very idea, one man married to a woman old enough to be his mother, another married to a girl he loves while he and his 'sister' are parents to a teenager. Duncan exploded in laughter at the very thought, while Amanda fell on the couch laughing like a hyena.

"Ooh what would the neighbors say about that?" Amanda asked over her laughing.

"Who cares? Let them mind their own business!" Duncan replied over his guffawing.

They each had a good long laugh at the possibility of what their family might become one day.

"You know Amanda," Duncan said after he'd calmed down, "I'm glad I married you."

"I'm glad you married me too. At least if our own family drives us to the brink of insanity, we'll have someone to go crazy with."

* * *

"Do you know how to make mixed drinks?"

"I should, I've been doing it for my roommate and his cousin plenty of times," Amber replied.

"Good…but don't think that's all you're going to be doing and don't think you're going to be starting that tonight…you're also going to be cleaning up around here, making sure everything's in place, and MOST of all, make sure the money stays put."

"Right."

"And if it tries to get up and walk away," the guy said in a joking manner, "you use this."

Amber found herself staring at the business end of a M9 Beretta the boss had whipped out from behind the counter, "You DO know how to use one of these, right?"

"Actually I've had more experience with a Cobray M 9/11, but I think I've used these before as well."

"Good," the boss put the gun back behind the counter, "now get to work."

"Right…"

Amber went behind the counter and got a look around at the place. It was covered in smoke, a bunch of the customers were already drunk, some were well on their ways. There were weird lights put up all over the place, it added to the sickening effect of the atmosphere. It wasn't pleasant work but she'd done worse, and in a weird way she liked it. Looking over at one table, she saw a beautiful woman and a male companion seated together.

And all that's missing is Al Capone, she thought. If she tried that stunt on any of the customers, she'd get far worse than three cuts to the face.

She turned back around and made sure every available drink in the place was set up behind her when a guy came up to the counter.

"What do you want?" she asked. She realized she should've used a different tone when speaking to customers, but it was a bar, what was to be expected?

"Give m' a beer," he slurred.

The guy was about two shots away from dead drunk Amber figured, but she slid a bottle his way anyway. The guy slipped a couple of bucks out of his pocket for the time being and went staggering back to his table.

* * *

"So you said you wanted to stay in tonight?" Richie asked after Roz invited him in.

"That's right, Richie, there's something I want to say."

"What is it?" Richie asked.

"Well, you might as well make yourself comfortable first," Roz said.

Richie made his way over to her couch and leaned against the back of it. "So what's up?"

"Richie, we've been together for a while now, and I want to say that…I like you, a lot."

"Well I like you too, but where's this going?" Richie asked.

"Well Richie, I'm a bit old fashioned in my ways, I have a favor to ask…"

"I'm listening…"

"Well it's not something that I'd ask just anybody about, but I want you to do something for me…if you don't want to, I understand."

"Well what is it?"

"Well I think I can trust you enough do ask if you'd do it…it's not something that I want people to find out about, at least not yet…it's just got to be between the two of us, understand?"

"Sure…you know you can trust me."

* * *

Amber turned around and handed the glasses to the two women, "One Blue Curacao and one Jack Daniels."

The women accepted the drinks and headed back to their tables. It had certainly been a busy night considering she'd only been working at this place for two hours. So far, twenty-one people had come in and eight who were already there left, then six more who came after she started working left and nine more came in.

Her boss came around to see how she was doing, "Jenzon, how's business been going?"

"Fine…but you know what I've been thinking…you know how most of these guys can't hardly even drive after they've been here, I think we should start a taxi service in addition, to take these guys home, that way they pay here, and they pay to get out of here."

"Funny," he sneered.

He slipped into the backroom to do whatever the hell it was he did when he went back there. She had to admit, it wasn't exactly a job she was real proud of, but in this world, money was money. She was debating whether being a bartender, or working at the Bloody Palace was a worse line of work, when something interrupted her concentration. A guy around 6'2 and around 200 pounds, who had gotten drunk of several mixed drinks, she knew this because she'd made them herself, was harassing a still sober woman. He was jerking on her arm, to get her to leave with him, but she was resisting, she pulled back and started screaming for him to stop, but he didn't, and nobody else seemed to hear her.

Amber grabbed a triple sec bottle and headed over to the man, "Knock it off, pal, the boss don't like none of that rough stuff." But he was either too drunk to hear her, or too drunk to care, so she broke the bottle over his head. He let go of the woman and she got away, he stood there for a minute just looking at Amber, with shards of broken glass laid on top of his head and the alcohol sinking down to the roots of his hair. Amber thought she'd killed him, then he lunged at her, trying to choke her, but she got away, she slipped out from behind the counter, picked up a bar stool and bashed him over the head with that. He was down for the count, and the boss came around to see what all the commotion was about.

* * *

"I still don't see why you don't want anyone to know about this," Richie said as he buttoned up his shirt again, "they're going to know anyway."

"When the time is right, then they'll know," Roz insisted, "until then I just want this to be between us. Besides, you don't have to worry, I'm going to pay you for your services."

"Yeah but Roz, I'm not too sure I can take money from you for doing this…I mean a lot of people do this and nobody pays anyone, unless you have a professional."

"But Richie, I just feel like you're getting cheated if you don't get anything out of this."

"I am getting something out of this," he said, "I'm getting to be with you."

"Richie," Roz laughed pitifully, "I have had boyfriends before who have said the exact same thing, but if they didn't get something else from me, they went and got it somewhere else."

"Well that's why they're not with you anymore, and I am," Richie said.

"Well Richie…since you've gone through the trouble of paying me a special visit tonight, I still insist on paying you…and if the next time's as good as tonight was, I think this could become a VERY good thing."

"Well," Richie said, "the awkward part of tonight is over, what do you want to do now?"

"Richie, before we do anything else, I'd like to ask another favor."

"What?"

"Well," Roz hesitated a bit, "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell your roommate."

"Why?" Richie asked, "She can keep it a secret, hell, she's got secrets she won't even tell me."

"I just don't want her to accidentally say anything to the wrong people," Roz said, "do you understand?"

"Sure, sure…she'll be none the wiser on this," Richie said.

* * *

Amber had been walking a ways now, she came across a phone booth on a corner street and went in, she dropped a quarter in the slot and dialed the house number, she waited a few seconds.

"Hello?"

"Mac, can Richie come to the phone?"

"Richie's not here…where are you?" Duncan asked.

Amber looked over at a street sign, "Well, according to this double street sign, I'm either at the beginning of Huckleberry Street, or just south of Blue Jay Lane."

"That doesn't sound anywhere close to Tampa."

"Probably not," Amber said, "my bike broke down a while back, I've been looking for a payphone to use…I just got to one."

She heard Duncan groan, "Amber, are there any buildings that would be noticeable if I came across them?"

Amber looked around, "Well, I'm across the street from one of those adult video stores…I can tell because on one of the posters, they got three Xs right where this lady's knockers should be."

It sounded like Duncan was trying hard not to laugh, "Anything else?"

Amber looked around again, "Uh…a few yards east of it is an Epi-scopal church and…"

"Episcopal."

"Yeah, and right next to it is the…Elm Shade cemetery, hey that's kind of ironic."

"Allright…do you remember where your bike broke down?" Duncan asked.

"Oh sure, why? You want me to go back there and wait?"

"No, I want you to go to the church and wait for me."

"Mac, you know I don't go where I'm not wanted," Amber said.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well you know the Catholic branch of religion has never been nice to me."

"Allright then, go into the cemetery and wait there…I'm going to find out where exactly it is you are and come get you."

"Mac, don't do that…"

"Well what do you want me to do?"

Amber thought for a minute, "Call Mizz Byrnes, he used to work at the garage, he should know what to do."

"Do you think he'd still be awake?"

"Oh sure, I know Mizz well enough to know that."

"And how will he know the cemetery when he sees it?" Duncan asked.

"Let's see, the gates have these two large white stone angels by the hinges to the entrance doors, and…about three rows in from the entrance there's this huge wreath of red flowers, right by a very interesting looking headstone."

Amber listened to Duncan a bit longer before she hung up. She headed over to the cemetery and figured this was going to be a boring wait when she felt the presence of another Immortal coming from the cemetery.

"I guess this ain't gonna be so boring after all," she said to herself.

She just hoped that this wouldn't be some encounter like Richie had with the Methos fraud a few years back. That's all she needed right now, some old goat talking about peace and love and laying down swords and all that crap. She went in just waiting for the other Immortal to start in on that, but heard nothing, except a shovel scraping the ground.

"What do you want?" he asked.

Amber headed in closer, "I'm waiting on someone…they're supposed to come down and fix my motorcycle."

"They like us?"

"Yeah, he's like us," she replied.

Amber approached the man, it was too dark to see much of anything, so she wouldn't be able to get much of a look at the guy. All the same, what could it hurt? This was holy ground after all, and every Immortal knew what not to do on holy ground.

"What're you doing?" she asked.

The guy had a kerosene lamp with him and turned it on, the area lit up brightly and the guy stood up to face her. Amber saw that the guy was over a foot taller than her, and he looked like he'd been done in by Frank Galluccio, he had several long scars over his face. She dreaded to think what he looked like under his trench coat.

"I'm getting a proper burial ready for one of our kind," he said.


	3. Chapter 3

"One of our kind?" Amber repeated.

"Yes," the man answered, "oh, but don't be afraid."

"Who's afraid?" Amber asked.

The man laughed, "You have to understand, he wasn't one of the more subtle Immortals like us, he was a cold blooded murderer, he'd kill anyone, mortal or Immortal, it didn't matter to him."

Amber wasn't sure whether to believe him or not, she decided not quite since she didn't even know the guy. She questioned whether or not she dared get even closer to the guy…she dared. Taking one step forward she said, "is the body here?"

The man pointed over to another part of the cemetery not too far off from where he was, then he got back to digging. Amber went over to where he'd pointed and stopped at a grave with a cross. Beside it was a bag that had the guy's body in it, she opened it up and got a look at the guy. He looked like a cross between Connor MacLeod and Johnny K, it was no one she knew or even heard of, so she was a bit relieved.

"Who was he?" Amber asked.

The man didn't answer, he just continued digging.

"You heard me," she said as she approached the guy again, "who was he?"

"I really don't think that matters since he's not alive anymore," the man replied as he stopped digging and leaned on his shovel for a minute, "His life is over and I think it's best to leave it at that."

Amber was almost sure this was going to lead into a bunch of malarkey of peace and harmony and stop the fighting. She waited for him to start in on that, meanwhile she headed over to a tomb and rested on it while she thought to herself how much she felt like she was in the movie "Daughter of Horror".

* * *

Richie came out of the kitchen and found Roz laying down on the couch in the living room, with one arm brought up over her head.

"Roz, are you allright?"

"I'm just very tired," she weakly replied.

"Well maybe you should get to bed, I'll just show myself out and…"

"No," she replied, "Richie, stay with me tonight, please."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, just stay with me, please," she begged.

"Allright…"

"Thank you, Richie…"

"You want me to help you up to your room?" Richie asked.

"No, I'm fine right here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…Richie…I'm glad you came tonight."

"I'm glad I came too."

"Richie…" Roz gestured with her finger that she wanted Richie to lean in closer to her, "there's something I want to tell you."

Richie decided to go along with it, so he did, Roz threw her arms around him and kissed him.

* * *

"What's going to happen if someone digs him up?" Amber asked.

"Who'd dig him up?" the man asked.

"Grave diggers…there's no idea as to who this guy is, no tombstone, no reason for them not to dig here…and they find a decapitated body, and he's just been buried, not embalmed, not made up, nothing…what will they think of that?"

"Who's going to tell them?"

"I didn't say anything about telling them, but they're always digging in an empty part of the cemetery and this looks about as empty as it gets," Amber said.

"Once he's buried the matter will be out of my hair," the man replied, "I never touched him, and nobody knows me so they could never trace me to his death. So why should I worry what happens after this?"

"I'm just saying…there might still be a chance that someone could link you to his death. Let's face it, for regular people, decapitation is not a common execution."

"Whoever said this guy was regular?" the man asked as he continued to place the dirt back into the grave.

"Good point, I mean…when was the last time there was a normal Immortal?" Amber asked.

"Exactly."

Amber headed back to the entrance of the gate, it had been over half an hour and Mizz still hadn't shown up. She must've gotten further out of Tampa than she figured if it was taking him this long. She had a feeling to just get out of here, forget her bike and get back to the house. That's what she decided on, and she turned around to tell the guy she'd be leaving when she found herself staring at the business end of a rapier that the man had drawn out.

"Fine thing," she said to herself, "I came to a cemetery but I didn't expect to die here."

Amber heard something and the next thing she knew, the guy was on the ground with a bullet wound in his back. She looked up and realized what she'd heard was a gun firing, and up came Mizz through the back of the cemetery. After he got a few feet closer, he came in range that she could feel his presence. Mizz got right up behind the guy, took a machete out of his coat and he swung down and decapitated the man.

* * *

"It's after one and she's still not back yet," Duncan noticed as he paced back and forth in the living room.

"I realize that Duncan, but moving us underground isn't going to solve anything," Amanda said, "so relax."

"She should've called by now," Duncan said.

"Maybe she fell asleep," Methos suggested, "at least if she is, she…oh wait…never mind…"

"What?" Amanda asked.

"Well I was going to say at least if she is asleep she's somewhere safe…but then again, we can't be too sure of that since we don't know where she is."

"Oh God," Duncan groaned.

"Methos, I think you've been enough help tonight, why don't you go on up to bed?" Amanda asked.

"Good idea, wake me when she gets back," Methos said as he stood up from the couch.

"Duncan, just calm down, I'm sure she's allright," Amanda said.

"Calm down? You expect me to just calm down?" Duncan asked.

"That's right, and I also know what you want to do with her the minute she comes through that door," Amanda said.

"Oh really? Pray tell, what would that be?" Duncan asked.

"Simple, you want to choke her, you'll want to put your arms around her neck and squeeze and squeeze until she turns blue," Amanda said.

"Little over a year after marriage and already you know me so well," Duncan said, "Amanda, I'm worried. Is that so wrong? That I'm worried about a teenager who could very well end up dead?"

"No, of course not."

"I think I have a right to be worried, we still haven't found out who this Immortal is who's killing off everyone he comes across, what if she runs into him?" Duncan asked.

"Hasn't anything new come up about this guy? Surely the Watchers must know something," Amanda said.

"All they know is all the previous aliases he's used…and some of the victims he's come across, but aside from that, everything else is a dead end…all his aliases are all different, some are that of a Native American, others are for an Asian, some say scars, some say tattoos, some don't have any, some say blue eyes, others say green, some say he's of an emaciated build, others say he looks like that of a heavier build. He's a mastermind at this, everywhere he goes he has a new identity where he won't be found out until the person for those aliases are killed off…by then he's moved onto a new one."

"So she wouldn't have any way of knowing what he looked like incase she meets up with him," Amanda added.

"Exactly…now you know why I'm so worried."

"Yes, but Duncan, worrying isn't going to do any good…now look, Amber told you to tell Mizz where to get her…she didn't ask you to come down, that should say something…if she were worried about running into someone, I really don't think she would've asked for someone as inexperienced as he, do you?"

* * *

"Oh man!" Mizz said as he looked down at the ground.

The Quickening had just ended, and he found himself up on his knees, in the middle of the cemetery, as if nothing had happened, but it did. Something had happened, it was the most intense Quickening he had ever experienced, which wasn't saying much considering he'd only been Immortal a few months, but all the same it seemed to knock everything out of him.

"Are you allright?" Amber asked.

"No," he replied.

He felt like all the air had been knocked out of him, he felt like his lungs had collapsed, he felt like every single bone in his body had been broken. He couldn't get up if he tried, he was gasping for air, he could barely stay on his knees as it was.

"Is this normal?" he asked.

"I don't think so," Amber replied.

Amber went over to him and helped him up to his feet, "Mizz, we've got to get out of here."

"Why?" Mizz asked.

"Why?" Amber repeated, "Mizz, every tombstone in the cemetery's been knocked over, that guy's corpse is on fire, if anybody comes and sees us, you know what they're gonna think. Now come on!"

"I can't!"

"I'll drag you with me, we have to get out of here now!" Amber told him.

Amber jerked on Mizz's wrist and they got out of the cemetery with no time to spare, the Quickening may have ended but there were still weird things happening in the graveyard. Some of the tombstones were moving by themselves, then they exploded and the remains burnt in flames that weren't spread by the burning body. By the time they got out past the gates and headed back up the way they came, it seemed the whole cemetery had burst into flames.

* * *

Richie couldn't sleep, he tossed and turned and rolled on his sides, but it was useless, he couldn't sleep, it was as simple as that. Why couldn't he sleep? Because it was too hot, that's why…so he got out of bed and went over to the window and opened it up wide for the breeze to come in, but, no breeze. He leaned out the window to see if there was even any wind, but, no wind either. The air was completely still, and hot…

This was ridiculous, Richie couldn't sleep being this hot. So he headed into the bathroom to throw some water on himself, it would be a bit of a change. He turned on the faucet and dabbed some cold water on his chest and his face and his arms. It felt refreshing, but even after he'd done that and gone back to bed, he still couldn't sleep.

He headed out into the living room where Roz was asleep on the couch, and she seemed to be fine covered up with a blanket and the windows closed. He went over to the couch and gently shook Roz to wake her up.

"What's the matter, Richie?" she asked.

"Roz I'm sorry, but I've got to leave," he said.

"What? Why?" Roz asked as she sat up.

"Something's wrong, I've got a bad feeling that's something's wrong…I can't sleep, I can't get comfortable, I just have this feeling that something is wrong and I need to go," Richie said.

"What time is it?" Roz asked.

"Almost two."

"Richie…are you sure?" Roz asked.

"Trust me, Roz, if I knew what was going on, I wouldn't be doing this," he said.

"Are you going to be allright?" Roz asked.

"I hope so," Richie replied.

"Richie, be careful," Roz told her.

Richie went into the dining room and threw on his jacket and his helmet.

"I intend to be," he said, "What about you? Are you going to be allright here alone?"

"I should be, I've been fine on my own before," she told him.

"Good, because I would really hate it if it turns out I'm wrong, and what's going on is going to happen here," he said.

Richie gave Roz a kiss goodbye and he was out her door, rushing to his bike.

* * *

Duncan and Amanda still hadn't gone up to bed, they'd stayed on the couch for hours, waiting for Amber to come home, but nothing…Finally it seemed they were on the verge of falling asleep, when…

"What time is it?" Duncan asked.

Amanda looked up at the clock, "Going on two thirty in the morning."

"And she's still not back yet," Duncan realized.

"Isn't it possible that she was worried she'd wake us up if she came back here and she's spending the night with Mizz?" Amanda asked.

"Could be…you want me to call him and see?" Duncan asked.

"No Duncan," Amanda said, "if they're there and they're asleep, there's no sense in waking them, otherwise it could be a very long, miserable night."

"Well how come they didn't call if they are there?" Duncan asked.

"They probably didn't get back until late, it was after midnight when you first called Mizz," Amanda explained, "now you tell me, would you call if it were you in his position?"

"Yes," Duncan replied without hesitation.

"You know you wouldn't," Amanda responded.

"You're right…I wouldn't…but when she gets home I'm going to…"

"You'll what?" Amanda asked, "Lecture her? Punish her? Take her over your knee and beat her butt black and blue because she couldn't get her motorcycle running? Is that what you have in mind?"

"No…"

"Then what are you going to do when she gets home?" Amanda asked.

"That will depend," Duncan said.

"On what?" Amanda asked.

"One, if she's still alive, and two…what kind of condition she is in when she gets back."

* * *

Shane had returned to the cemetery to see Rachel, but as he did that he couldn't help but notice the rush of police cars and fire engines and ambulances rushing by the street. He didn't think to ask anyone what all the ruckus was about since they probably didn't know anymore than he did. So he shrugged it off and went over to Rachel's grave. He put down a bouquet of black roses over the ground where she'd been buried.

"Boy it's really getting weird down here, Rachel," he said, "I bet you're glad you are where you are and not where I am, because things are getting a lot worse around here…I guess by now you know about my friends, well…they're nice people…I like them and for once it seems they like me…it's as Mom used to say…once they come around to liking you, you feel like you're at the top of the world…all the same I wish you were still here with me…well…that race is coming up next week, my friends will be there cheering me on…I imagine where you are you'll be doing some cheering of your own…and I bet I know what you'll do if someone else up there laughs at me…

"Oh you always did look out for me…it was weird, you were younger than me but at the same time you seemed more like a mother to me than anything else at times…that was part of your charm, there was always just something about you that made you different, that made me attracted to you more than anything…I guess that's why we loved each other…you…you always did know what to say…you always knew how to make me happy…I just wish I could've done the same for you…"

Shane listened to the calming silence of the cemetery, there was nobody there except for him. And nobody was listening to him, except for Rachel…That's the way it was and that's the way it had been since he first started coming to her grave. It was good enough for him then and it was good enough for him now, the silence in itself was an answer to him. He went over to the elm tree and made himself comfortable under the same branch, and he said "Goodnight Rachel", before he turned over and went to sleep.

* * *

"So that's why I got fired from my job at the bar," Amber said, "I don't know what they want from me. They expect me to just stand by and let this guy who is knee-walking drunk take this woman and rape her? That ain't how I work."

"Well good for you," Mizz said.

"So now tomorrow I'm going to have to look into finding another job," Amber said, "you think you could have my bike fixed by then?"

"Oh sure…and Amber…I'm really sorry about tonight," Mizz said.

"Hey, if you hadn't have come and taken him, he would've killed me, so with you coming down I had nothing to lose," Amber said, "so don't worry about it…I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay…oh hey Amber."

"Yeah?"

"Tomorrow night at Mandy's place?" Mizz asked.

"Yeah?" Amber asked.

Last she heard, he was going with another girl from school, so what could he be asking her?

"You still coming?"

"Sure…I can't wait to hear what some of you guys are keeping bottled up."

* * *

Richie didn't know how he did it, but he was lost. He'd gotten lost around an hour ago, by the looks of the place he was in, he was guessing he left Tampa a long time ago. A fine thing, he thought. Richie was about to turn around and go back and try to figure out how to get out when something caught his eye. Down the road was a swarm of people, reporters, policemen, firemen, paramedics, and they were all standing outside of a cemetery…getting a closer look Richie saw that the cemetery was on fire!

He went down to see what had happened, but he got stopped by the police and was informed to check into a motel for the night, since most of the streets had been blocked off heading out of town, also a severe storm was coming in and the last thing he needed was to be out in the middle of it. Among all the constant chatter about the incident, Richie heard something about a headless body being found burning in the cemetery, a young woman going into the cemetery sometime before, and no mention of her coming out.

Richie told an officer that he had to get back to Tampa, but the officer informed him it wouldn't be possible to get back until morning, so Richie found himself in a motel room for the night, worried sick about what could've happened. He called home and got Duncan on the line, "Is Amber there?"

"No Richie, she's not back yet. She never came home tonight, why? Is something wrong?"

Richie said nothing and just hung up. Now he was more worried than before. But there was nothing he could do until morning.

* * *

Methos had been drifting in and out of sleep all night, just when he seemed to finally be able to relax, something always woke him. This time he woke up when he heard something tapping at the window. Oh it had been raining for a while now, and the wind was strong and it was shaking the branches in the trees, but none of that was what he heard now. There was someone outside of his window.

He went over to the window and opened it, and Amber came falling in through it, she was talking incoherently and seemed to be in a bit of a panic.

"Methos, oh thank God, Methos I'm glad to see you," she said as she drew him in a tight hug, "I was worried I wouldn't see you again after what's happened tonight."

Methos noticed right away that Amber looked like a drowned rat, but that seemed to be the best of her condition, she had cuts and scratches and bruises all over her body that hadn't gone away yet.

"Amber are you allright?" he asked, "What in the bloody hell happened to you?"

"Methos!" she exclaimed, "He's dead!"

"Who?"

"That Immortal that's been in town for the last several months, the one that no one knows who he is, the one that's been killing off everyone…he's dead, I saw him tonight. He was at the cemetery," Amber explained, "he was burying someone else there and before I knew it, he had his sword drawn and he was coming my way. But then Mizz came through the back and shot him, then when he was down, Mizz took a machete out of his coat and beheaded him, then the Quickening…my God, Methos, I have never seen a Quickening like that before. It was awful, I've never seen anything like it…the power, it lifted him off the ground and it just surged through his body, it turned over every tombstone in the graveyard, and it somehow set this guy's body on fire…When it ended he fell to the ground and it was like all his bones had turned to mush, he couldn't get up. I had to get him out of there, the whole place was going up in flames, all the tombstones were exploding and the fire was everywhere," Amber explained.

"Where is he now?" Methos asked.

"Mizz? He went on home," Amber calmly explained, "What a Quickening."

"Is that what happened to you?" Methos asked.

"No, I'm fine," Amber replied.

But Methos wasn't buying it.

"Allright, I'm not fine…but I've been worse," Amber said.

"Who did this to you?" Methos asked.

Amber didn't answer, she just looked away, but Methos was determined to get to the bottom of it."

"Amber, would you answer me? Who did this to you? ……Amber…did Mizz do this to you?"

"Yes and no."

"What do you mean yes and no?" Methos asked.

"Well yes he did this to me, but that was because he was under the effect of the Quickening, you know how that can be sometimes, right after you take the head, you begin to act subliminally around others, at least I think that's what it was."

Methos held Amber close and examined the minor injuries on her face, though it wouldn't be long for them to heal, he couldn't imagine her own friend had done this to her. Methos let out a disgusted sigh as he released her.

"Methos, it wasn't his fault."

"I'm sure it wasn't," he replied, not sounding like he fully believed it.

"Methos, you have to understand that this man wasn't like a lot of us. He killed mercilessly, he killed many, mortal and Immortal alike, if you killed someone like that, what would the Quickening do to you?" Amber asked.

"Are you forgetting?" Methos asked, "That happened to MacLeod when he took Kronos' head."

"I'm not talking about Mac, I'm talking about you!" Amber told him, "Mac is a completely different story! I want to know what would happen to YOU if it happened. Are you trying to tell me that it never happened to you? Or that you were never hurt by someone who took a Quickening like that?"

Methos looked at Amber in what looked like a pitiful manner. She didn't know what to make of it, she didn't even know that he believed her.

"Methos, he didn't do this intentionally, you have to believe that," Amber said.

"Just tell me what happened," Methos said in a low voice.

"I got Mizz out of the cemetery, and we got back into town, on our way back up here, he told me to let go of him, so I did. Then he came at me and he hit me and I fell to the ground, I got back up and he tried again, but he didn't. I threw him down on the ground, he got up and came at me, he tried to choke me, but I got loose, so he grabbed me by the shoulders and squeezed down nice and hard, then he bashed me against this wall. I got loose and grabbed him by the wrists so he couldn't hit me, and we wrestled each other to the ground, I managed to knock him out, then I dropped and hit my face on a rock. That's what cut me…I passed out for a few minutes and when I woke up, he was standing over me with a knife, he planned to plunge it into my heart, I think…

"I think that's what he'd planned to do, but I didn't give him the chance, I got the knife away from him and I…I stabbed him…he fell to the ground and died, then I took the knife out of his chest. When he came back, he seemed to be back to normal…he saw what he'd done to me and…"

"And what?" Methos asked, "What did he do? Did he admire his work or did he throw up?"

"He cried, Methos…and he just rambled on and on about how sorry he was for what he'd done…Methos, this guy is a punk, and a pain in the ass, but he doesn't hurt people, not ordinarily…sometimes he gets in fights with guys from the college, but he would not normally go out and do anything to intentionally hurt anyone…you have to believe that, he was falling to pieces when he saw what he'd done to me, I had to get him to his feet again, and I slapped him to try and get him to calm down…I think it worked, he didn't stop crying, but he quit apologizing…

"On our way back here, we came across my bike, and he said he'd take it to the garage, and that he'd have it fixed sometime tomorrow, and I came back here, and that was that, that's all that happened, can we leave it at that?" Amber asked.

Methos looked at her for a while, not saying anything. Finally he said, "I suppose so…"

"Methos, it wouldn't have been any different if it'd been you out there," she said.

"What?" Methos asked.

"If it were you in Mizz's position, if you were the one who hurt me I wouldn't have done anything different than what I'd done with Mizz," Amber told him

"Really?"

"Yes…it was out of his hands, and if it'd been out of your hands you don't really think I'd kill you, do you?" Amber asked.

"No, I know you better than that…"

"There, you see? No permanent damage, I'll heal, the aftermath of the Quickening will even out in him, we'll go on with our lives just as we had before," Amber said.

Methos drew Amber close and ran his thumbs over her cheeks, where the cuts seemed to be the worst. She was right, they were healing, and so was every other mark, scratch and bruise on her.

"So you're allright…"

"More or less, but after the night I've had I sure feel weird, what's been going on around here?" Amber asked, "I came home and Richie wasn't here…that's why I came around here…is he allright?"

"He's fine, he's staying with Roz tonight, that would be my guess," Methos said.

"Why do you figure that?" Amber asked.

"Because that's where he went tonight and he never called with any plans to go anywhere else," Methos replied.

"So he's allright?" Amber asked.

"He's fine, and I'm sure he'll come back here first thing tomorrow morning, never knowing a thing about tonight," Methos said.

"What time is it?" Amber asked.

"Going on four o' clock in the morning, you were gone quite a while, you had us all worried out of our minds, matter of fact, MacLeod and Amanda never came up to bed, they stayed downstairs waiting for you. And MacLeod was determined to take you over his knee the minute you came through the front door," Methos said.

"I had a feeling he would, that's why I came up here," Amber said.

"Well don't worry kid, you'll stay here with me tonight, and tomorrow if anyone asks, you came home long before now," Methos told her.

Amber didn't say anything, she just pulled off her boots and fell on the bed.

* * *

It was six thirty in the morning, Richie had finally gotten back home, he burst through the front door and ran up the stairs screaming, "Amber!"

Methos was already up and heard him, so he decided to meet him in the hallway, when Richie came up to the upper hallway, he was ready for him.

"Methos! Where's Amber? Is she here? Is she allright?" he asked.

Methos grabbed Richie by the shoulders to hold him still, he was hopping around like the Easter bunny, "She's fine, Richie…she came home a few hours ago…what's wrong?"

"Methos! Oh God! There was a beheading at this cemetery, and all the tombstones were thrown out of place and the body was on fire!"

"I know, I know, she told me when she came home," Methos said, "she was there…she found out who this Immortal is who's been taking up residence in Florida and killing off everyone…"

Richie looked like he was about to faint, "What? Did he hurt her? Is she allright?"

"She's fine, he didn't get a chance to get near her, your friend Mizz from the university, went down there and killed him…"

"What? Oh man, Methos, Mizz is still new to all this, how'd he?"

"When he got down there, first he shot him, then he took out a machete and chopped his head off…ah youth," Methos said, "you younger people have such vivid imaginations when it comes to the Game."

"You mean…you mean the Quickening did all that?"

"Yes, he was a very twisted man, to be honest, I'm a bit surprised that's all the damage that was done…"

"Do you know who he is…was?"

"I called Joe…we found out that his name was Norman Voorhees, he's been around for a few hundred years, he staged his own death several years ago, so they closed the case on him…then he killed his Watcher, made that look like an accident, since then, he's been going through several aliases, coming up with untimely demises for them and moving on…but it's over now."

Richie seemed to be struggling to breathe, but he also seemed relieved when he heard it.

"Oh man, Methos, last night when I was at the cemetery, I couldn't believe what was going on. I'd heard that Amber had gone in there but nobody saw her come out…and I tried to get back here last night, but they'd blocked off every way to get out of town so I had to spend the night in a motel, then when I first heard they were opening up the roads again, I checked out and got back here…do you think she's awake?"

"After hearing you scream like a banshee I don't know how she couldn't be," Methos said, "you can go in and see her, I'll give you two some privacy."

Methos slipped downstairs, and Richie went in to see Amber, who was awake and sitting up in bed.

"Richie, what's going on?" Amber asked.

Richie seemed to be beyond relieved to see her, he jumped on the bed and flattened her beneath him and kissed her. She accepted it and returned the favor for a few seconds, before she balled her hands into fists and jabbed Richie in the gut, pushing him off of her.

"What the hell was that for?" Amber asked as she got up on her knees, "Did you try some of Methos' cooking again?"

"Amber!" Richie choked, "Amber, I'm just glad to see you."

"Well I'm glad to see you too, Richie, but what's that have to do with anything?" Amber asked.

"Amber," Richie said as he crawled close to her, "I know about what happened at the cemetery, I know about Norman Voorhees, I know all about that."

"Well congratulations but…"

"That's not it, last night I knew something was wrong, so I tried coming home, but I got lost, the next thing I knew, I was somewhere outside of Tampa, watching a cemetery burn, hearing people say they saw a girl go into the cemetery but she never came out. I was worried sick, the cops had blocked off every exit from the town, and I had to stay in a motel for the night, worried out of my mind that you were dead. I called home and Mac said you never came back."

"What time was that?" Amber asked.

"I think after three."

"That figures, I came home at four, and I climbed in through Methos' window, because I couldn't find you anywhere…and I found out that Duncan planned to give me a beating I'd never forget…so I hid out here the rest of the night."

"But you're okay," Richie said as he drew Amber in a tight hug.

"Yeah, Methos told them what had happened, so I'm off the hook with them…Richie, I went in that cemetery because Mac was sending Mizz out to come and get me so he could fix my bike. While I was in there, that guy was there too…he was burying someone…I don't know who he was, but he looked a bit like Connor…and this guy, well…I felt like I was in that movie "Daughter of Horror", the only difference was I saw this guy's face. He had this kerosene lamp and he turned it up and I saw his face…Richie, the guy looked like Frank Galluccio had done him in…hey maybe he did, Methos said this guy was around three hundred and sixty years old…"

"Who's Frank Galluccio?" Richie asked.

"He's the guy who gave Al Capone his nickname Scarface…back in 1917, he and his sister had gone out to a bar…he was half-way drunk and Al started talking in a…provocative manner to his sister, so he took out a knife with a four-inch blade, and he cut him in the face…of course it cost him $1,000 and an apology…anyway…this guy doesn't seem to have any worry about the idea of someone digging up the guy and finding him, because let's face it…decapitation is a rare cause of death around here…"

"Yeah, go on…"

"Well anyway, I got ready to leave and this guy's got his sword drawn…then I hear something and the guy falls to the ground, and Mizz comes up behind him, pulls out his machete, and I think you can imagine the rest from there…"

"How is he?" Richie asked.

"Well as far as I know, he's fine, but also as far as I know, he'll be sitting on a bag of ice for the next day or two," Amber added.

Richie fell face first into the bed and he groaned in relief, "Amber," he said as he brought his head up again, "I was worried to death that something had happened to you…you have no idea how glad I am that you're allright."

"I think I can imagine how glad you are," Amber said, lowering her gaze, "look, you've been a wreck for most of the night, why don't you get some sleep?"

Amber swung her feet around to the floor and got up, she didn't even wait for Richie to argue, she took off his boots and brought the sheet up to his stomach.

"How's that?"

"Fine…"

Amber slipped a pillow under his head, "I suggest you get plenty of rest now, because I doubt we're going to get much tonight."

"Tonight?" Richie drowsily repeated.

"Yeah, tonight's that big hoot nanny over at Mandy McCloud's house…and between you and me, I'm dying to see what some of these guys' big secrets are."

Amber kissed Richie on the forehead and turned off the light, she decided after all Richie had been through the previous night, right now she was just going to sit and keep her mouth shut and watch him sleep. After what had nearly happened and what HAD happened last night, she decided this was exciting enough for her for the time being.


	4. Chapter 4

Duncan entered the kitchen and found Amber at the stove, mixing up a mess of something in a saucepan.

"Amber, what're you doing?" he asked.

"Making my lunch," she replied, "how are you today?"

"Oh, I'm fine…where's Richie?"

Amber grinned, "He's in Methos' bed asleep, I haven't the heart to wake him, he was worried sick last night."

"Yeah well, he wasn't the only one," Duncan said.

Amber stirred the stuff in the pan and couldn't help but notice Duncan standing right next to her, staring at her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Amber, are you sure you're allright?"

"What is the big deal? I went out, I had some trouble, I almost got killed, I didn't…I got a few bumps and scrapes, no big deal…"

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you."

"Yeah? Well don't be…nobody worried about me the last time something awful happened to me, and I don't need it now," Amber said.

"Amber, do you have any idea how worried we were last night when you didn't come home?"

"Richie didn't come home either, why weren't you worried about him?" Amber asked.

"Because I knew where he was staying," Duncan said.

"Yeah? Well look Mac, I'm fine, so let's just forget about it," Amber said.

"I'd like to," Duncan said, "but Amber…"

"But nothing, Mac, it's over, leave it at that…we've all come out of messes like this before," Amber said, "and YOU," she said as if it left a bad taste in her mouth, "are certainly no exception."

* * *

Richie had woken up and was changing his clothes when he heard something coming from down below his window. So he opened his window and looked down, and he saw Shane in the driveway on a bike. No doubt one he planned to ride in the race, but the very sight of it made Richie want to burst out laughing.

"Amber," he called, "Amber have you seen this?"

Amber came into the bedroom and looked out the window, she immediately started laughing. "Shane, what the hell is that?" she guffawed.

"It's the bike I picked out for the race next week," he replied.

Amber took Richie by the wrist and dragged him out of the bedroom and down the stairs and out the door so they could get a better look at it. Seeing it up close and personal, they couldn't believe it. The bicycle in itself had a build like that of a sick horse, the seat was curved, the handlebars were covered with bells and horns, the wheels had pinwheels in the middle that spun when he pedaled, and the pedals themselves were something to laugh at. They were in the shape of the feet of boots, big boots, something like Herman Munster would wear.

"Shane, what do you plan on doing? Making all the other riders laugh their way out of the race?" Amber asked.

"I happen to like it," he replied, "in any case, that's not all why I'm here."

"Oh? You gonna show us something else?" Richie asked.

"I want to ask Duncan about trying out for the track team," he said as he got off his bike.

"Oh, okay, hold on I'll go get him," Amber turned and went on the porch and yelled in through the front door, "MAAAAAAC!"

Duncan came out and looked a bit surprised when he saw Shane, and his bike. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Shane wants to try out for the track team at the college," Amber said.

"Oh well…allright…Shane…I want you to run about…three yards, so we can get an idea of how fast you can run," Duncan said.

"Okay."

Shane walked up to the end of the sidewalk in their yard and ran down from there, down through the next two houses on the block, then he stopped at the end of the yard at the third house and came back. "How was that?"

Duncan was left in awe, it had been a while since he'd seen someone run that fast. "That was amazing Shane, but actually…I meant the other kind of yard."

"Oh you mean the back yard?" Shane asked.

"No, no, no, a yard as in three feet," Duncan explained.

Shane had a bit of a surprised look on his face, "Who's got three feet?"

Richie rolled his eyes and slapped himself in the forehead.

"Don't worry Shane, you missed them," Amber told him.

"Oh."

"Well Mac, what do you say?"

"Well I would like to recommend him to the coach…but I'm afraid I've got some bad news."

"Someone already took it?" Shane asked.

"No, uh…as of today, Adam Pierson and I have been fired and Amber and Richie, and several other students have been expelled from the university," Duncan explained.

"What? Why?" Shane asked.

"Well it's a bit of a long story, come on in and I'll tell you all," Duncan said.

* * *

"So that bastard Crestwood, decides since we're not ideal students, that we should all get the boot," Richie explained that night to everyone who showed up at Mandy McCloud's house.

"Unbelievable," Jason said.

"We were surprised to hear it ourselves," Richie said.

"Well, then I guess we should be expecting the same news any day now," Joanne said.

Everyone sighed, and for a while, nobody said anything.

"So, what do we do now?" Shane asked.

"Yeah, isn't there supposed to be some kind of 'true confession' thing going on here? I mean isn't that why we came in the first place?" Amber asked.

"Yeah," Jason said, "everyone into the dining room."

"Why?" Amber asked.

"We all have to gather around the table to do this," Mandy said.

"Oh great," Richie said as he got up off the couch, "Maybe after this we'll hold a séance and see if we can get Kurt Cobaine to talk."

"Why is it everyone always wants to talk to that guy?" Amber asked, "he obviously didn't feel like talking when he was alive, what makes you think dying would've changed that?"

"Well what would you suggest for a séance?" Richie asked.

Amber thought for a minute and just stood around with a blank look on her face.

"Well?" Richie asked.

"Vincent Price," Amber replied, "I'd like to know whatever possessed him to do those damn Dr. Phibes movies."

"Allright you guys, come on," Mandy said.

Everyone took a seat at the long dining room table.

"We don't have to hold hands do we?" Amber asked.

"Who's going to start?" Roz asked.

"I will," Jason said, "…I'm…I'm afraid of water."

"So that's why he never joins us when we go swimming," Amber said.

"Shhhhhh," Richie said.

"I sleep in the nude," Joanne said.

Mizz whistled and Jason slapped him in the back of the head.

"Go on Mizz, it's your turn," Joanne said.

"Once I modeled for…a cheap woman's magazine," he said nervously.

Everyone broke out laughing, Amber said, "You?" He nodded. "I hope they paid you for your work," Joanne said over her laughing.

"They did, " Mizz replied.

Everyone calmed down and Shane was next, "I was almost murdered."

Everyone was quiet for a minute, none of them knowing what to say.

"Uh…Richie, I think it's your turn," Amber said.

"I am…well I was an orphan."

Amber couldn't believe her ears, of all the things Richie didn't let people know, that was the big secret?

Myron went next, he hesitated a couple of times before admitting, "I'm a virgin."

"That's supposed to be a big secret?" Amber asked.

"You mean you aren't?" Myron asked.

"Of course I am, but that's no secret, not to me or anybody else, at least I thought it wasn't," Amber said, "the reason I have no problem talking about my sex life is because I don't have one."

"Allright then, Amber, what's your secret?" Jason asked.

"I once killed a man," Amber said.

"What?" several of them asked.

"There was this guy, Mario Venvetta, when I was twelve, the bastard killed my parents and raped me. I got away, but he hunted me for years, every time I thought I got away from him, he'd be right behind me. One day, I was told that if I went to see Duncan MacLeod then he could help me get away from Mario, but he couldn't. Mario tried to kill Mac too, to revenge the accidental death of his father, which was at Duncan's hands. Finally it came down to the point where he injected me with some unknown disease, no name, no known cure, I almost died…but I didn't, I got better and I decided I was tired of fucking around for four years, so I went at him and killed him," she explained.

Nobody knew what to say and they all looked at one another, Richie couldn't believe she'd just said that. Of all the things that she could've said, except for her Immortality, she could've said anything and she decided on that.

"Man," Mizz said, "sounds like that son of a bitch had it coming."

"So, who's going next?" Amber asked.

There was a long silence, and she had a good idea of what caused it. "Oh come on, the idea is we spill our guts on the biggest secrets of our lives, I did mine, so somebody else go on ahead…someone who cross-dresses, someone who skinny dips, someone who's run through the football field naked…something."

"Well," Shelby said, "when I was 15 I was engaged to this guy four years my senior and we had planned to run away to Mexico to get married."

"Mexico," Amber scoffed, "That's the problem with young people these days, always making things complicated…you probably would've had better luck in England."

"Why? What's in England?" Shelby asked.

"Well I happen to know for a fact that in England, it is legal to have sex if you're 16. And you know how it goes, usually when it comes to being the legal age to have sex, the legal age to marry is right up there with it," Amber said.

"Well anyway, that didn't work out, moving on."

"Why didn't it work out?" Amber asked.

"He joined a modeling agency and I never heard from him again…I saw him a few times in cheap magazines."

"Was he in one a few years ago wearing nothing but a bright green Speedo?"

"Yeah, why?" Shelby asked.

"I knew that guy," Amber said, "we went out a couple of times, nothing…"

"You never told me that," Shelby said.

"Well if memory serves, that was before we came to Florida…I didn't think it mattered. So who's going next?"

"Well," Mandy said.

"Well what? What did you do?" Richie asked.

"When I was 13, I stole my mother's car and headed for Mexico, I almost beat the police there but I crashed."

Everyone looked like they were fighting everything in them not to laugh, Richie buried his face in the tablecloth.

"And what did your mother say when you got home?" Amber asked.

"She said 'the next time you want to go off and do something stupid like that, take your father's car'," Mandy said.

"You're serious?" Roz asked.

"Yes."

"Well…" Shelby said, "I think we've all run out of secrets to tell."

"I don't think we are just yet," Amber replied.

* * *

Phyllis had come and picked up Methos as planned and taken him out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, while they waited on their food they went through a bottle of champagne.

"Well, here's to us," Phyllis said as she raised a glass of champagne.

"Oh yes, to us, indeed," Methos added as he picked up his glass too, "oh boy."

"What? What?"

"Well I was just thinking about how our last get-together like this ended," Methos said.

"Oh horse hockey," Phyllis replied, "Adam, if you're willing to put the whole thing behind you I certainly am."

"Really?" Methos asked.

"You sound disappointed," Phyllis said, "is something wrong?"

"It's just…I'm not sure whether or not I want to get married, part of me is saying yes and another part is saying 'this is a really bad idea'."

"Well, maybe you should listen to the latter part for the time being, I'm beginning to have some second thoughts too…I mean, I know how hard it is losing someone you love…haven't you, Adam?"

"Yes."

"I don't usually tell anyone this, but I was married twice before, they both died…in between them, I lost three sisters, one younger, two older, two younger brothers, and both my parents…so I realize how big of a commitment marrying a woman my age would be to you…you'll be my age one day and I'll be dead."

"I wish you wouldn't talk like that," Methos said.

"Well it's true…and I'm sure you've gone through your own share of losses, have you ever been married?" Phyllis asked.

"Yes."

"How many times?" Phyllis asked.

Methos tried to think of an appropriate answer because there was no way in hell he could've gotten married 68 times as young as he was supposed to be.

"Five times," he answered.

"Five, were they all like me and older?" Phyllis asked.

"No, three of them divorced me, one simply disappeared, and the other…had a heart attack."

"See? We both know about this kind of stuff, we know what it's like…I guess that's why we often avoid other commitments that we see we can help getting into," Phyllis said.

"I suppose that's true," Methos said.

"Adam, I've got something to tell you, there's another reason why I'm having second thoughts."

"Why?"

"You see this?" Phyllis extended her arm out, showing Methos gauze wrapped around her wrist.

"Yes."

"I've had this since before we met," Phyllis said, "and there's a reason for it…I've been wearing this because I didn't want you to see something."

"Tattoo?" Methos asked.

"Used to be," Phyllis said, "but there's more to it than that."

* * *

"It's called "I never", and you only play it with people you know you can trust," Amber said.

Richie and Shane and Amber had raided the wine rack and had drinks poured for everyone sitting around the table.

"You start off with "I never" and say something that you have or haven't done, for example, "I never lived in Florida", if you have you drink, if you haven't you don't."

They all took their seats and got their glasses ready.

"Who's going first?" Richie asked.

"How about Mandy? It's her home," Amber said.

"Allright…I never watched an X-rated movie."

Everyone except for Shane all took a drink.

"I never ran a red light," Jason said.

He, Richie and Amber all took another drink.

"I never sunbathed in the nude," Joanne said.

She and Roz and Mandy took a drink.

"I never went to jail," Mizz said.

He, Jason, Jason, Amber, and Richie took another drink.

"I never stole any money," Roz said.

Richie, Amber, and Mandy all took a drink.

"I never cross-dressed," Richie said.

He, Jason, Mizz, and Shane all took a drink.

"I never got a tattoo," Shane said.

He and Mizz and Joanne all took a drink, but what surprised Richie was when Amber drank as well.

"Amber."

"What?"

"I never saw you with a tattoo," Richie said.

"That's because I didn't get a chance to go back for the proper recolor to make it complete," Amber said.

"Well where is it?" Richie asked.

"I didn't like the way it turned out so I had it removed," Amber said.

"Is it my turn again?" Joanne asked.

"No, it's Amber's," Roz replied.

"I never had sex with someone I lived with," Amber said.

Jason and Joanne seemed a bit surprised when Amber didn't drink but Richie did.

"Amber, are you aware of what you just said?" Joanne asked.

"Yeah, I said I never had sex with someone I lived with, and I mean it," Amber said, "I told you guys I'm a virgin."

"Yeah but…"

"What? You think just cuz Richie and me see more of each other than the entire football team when they hit the showers, that we're doing the horizontal tango? I don't believe this."

"Well what did you expect us to believe?" Joanne asked.

"We never expected you to believe anything since we didn't think that our sex lives were such a big issue with you," Amber said.

"Well come on," Jason said, "we tell you guys everything that goes on in ours, we only expected that you'd do the same in return."

"Oh boy," Richie said a bit embarrassed, "this is a real mess."

"Allright look," Joanne said, "Amber, Richie, we're sorry about what just happened, and if you're willing to move on from it and forget it, we certainly are."

"Well I don't know, what do you think?" Richie asked.

"I don't care, I don't care," Amber said, "let's just forget the whole thing EVER came up."

"Allright."

* * *

"You used to be a Watcher?" Methos asked.

"Thirteen years in my time…but I had to leave."

"Why?" Methos asked.

"I fell in love with an Immortal, and I knew what would happen if they found out…see, it was around the time that Joe Dawson was tried for treason, so I left…I had the tattoo removed…didn't quite work as well as it should, but…we planned to get married, but…he got challenged one day and he lost."

"Phyllis, I'm sorry…"

"Oh it's allright, I'm not so bothered by it now, nothing like I used to be," Phyllis replied, "anyway, since then, I've never told anyone, especially anyone I could trust, nobody knows what I used to be and I was for keeping it that way," Phyllis said.

"So that's why you kept your wrist covered, so I wouldn't see what was left of the tattoo and know that you were a Watcher," Methos said.

"That's right, I knew you were a Watcher," Phyllis said, "…just like I know you're Immortal."

Methos' eyes went wide and his face lost all color, "Phyllis…"

"Adam…I've known for a while that you were Immortal, don't worry, my lips are sealed…you see, when Joe Dawson was tried for treason, it was because he broke the Watcher's code by getting involved with an Immortal, revealing the Watchers to them, that Immortal was Duncan MacLeod…your Duncan MacLeod, the man you live with."

Methos looked down, he couldn't believe this.

"And Methos."

The sound of his own name being called made him turn even paler than he thought possible.

"Yes, I know that too," Phyllis said.

* * *

"Can you believe those guys?" Amber asked.

"No I must say that I can not," Richie replied.

"Us, sleeping together, how stupid can they get?" Amber asked.

"Pretty stupid," Richie said.

Amber slipped into the driver's seat of Richie's car and tried sticking the key in the ignition, "Just because we're roommates and we live together and we have for years, and we know each other better than most people they think we're fucking like rabbits."

"Amber, I think you better let me drive you home, you had a lot more to drink than I did," Richie said.

"Eh, maybe you're right," Amber said, "I'm practically seeing red as it."

Amber slipped over into the passenger seat and Richie got in and started up the car, "Amber."

"What?"

"Well, even though that we don't…you know, hit the sheets…I still love you."

"And is that you talking or the booze?" Amber asked, "cuz remember Richie, you had four glasses of wine before we left."

"No, no, I'm serious…"

"And I'm Roger Daltrey," she said sarcastically, "come on, let's get out of here."

Richie and Amber stumbled into their bedroom and shut the door, Richie went over to his bed and took off his boots. Amber went over to the window and opened the blind so the light from the streetlight down below on the corner, would shine in, then she went over to Richie's bed as well, took off her boots and they both fell on the bed, Amber on top of Richie, both of them (trying) to hold each other.

"Richie…"

"Yeah?"

"Did you have a good time tonight?" Amber asked.

"Sure Amber, sure…how bout you?"

"How bout me what?" Amber asked.

"Did you have a good time?" Richie asked.

"Yeah, yeah I guess so," Amber said, "Richie…"

"What?"

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" Amber asked.

"What?"

"When you said you love me."

"Of course."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you?" Amber asked, "I never say anything to you about whether or not I like you and I always treat you like crap."

"You do not."

"I do too, I'm always yelling at you, calling you every name in the book, and I'm always tossing you around."

"Well…I guess it's when you do those things that I really know that you care about me," Richie replied.

"Do you think that about every girlfriend who beats you up?" Amber asked.

"No," Richie replied, "you're the first to do that."

"I'm not a girlfriend, I just live with you, sleep with you, and will make life a living hell for anyone who tries to hurt you," Amber told him.

"That's pretty much what a girlfriend is," Richie said.

"Yeah well when we start getting to be like rabbits, then we'll talk," Amber replied.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, neither one saying anything.

"Richie…"

"Yeah?"

"What's tomorrow?"

"Sunday…"

"Allright, what's today then?"

"Saturday."

"Allright, so go to sleep, because in a few hours, we're going to be up and hitting it hard," Amber said.

"Oh yeah…at what?"


	5. Chapter 5

The sun wasn't even up yet and already there was a ruckus outside the house. Over and over and over, a loud WHACK followed by a THUD of the baseball hitting the siding of the house. Amanda felt her headache throb with each hit the ball took to the house, this had been going on for half an hour already.

Duncan came down the stairs looking a bit tired, he went over to the table and found her looking worse than he. "What is all that noise?" he asked.

"That's the kids," Amanda said, "they got together a while ago and they've just been hitting that ball repeatedly…you know Duncan, I would like to be able to sleep in on Saturdays, but that is impossible when the kids get together around here."

"Odd, I don't quite recall them doing this before," Duncan said.

"Well that's because last week they got together at Jason's place for football, the week before that they were over at Mandy's house playing basketball, and the week before that they went to help Mizz work on his hockey."

"How bout before that?" Duncan asked.

"Before that, they were over here that Saturday playing badminton, of course you wouldn't know that because you sleep like a rock, but I heard them screaming and whooping and I hear the shuttlecock hitting the house and the windows and listening to them complain about the shuttlecocks losing their heads in the tennis rackets."

"Tennis rackets?" Duncan asked.

"They complained the badminton ones were too small…but anyway it seems that every Saturday, they all get up early and go somewhere to play sports, and a lot of it's for good reason, Mizz wants to join the NHL, Jason wants to join the NFL, Myron wants to join the NBA, Eddie wants in at the MLB, and luckily for us, Richie doesn't want to join any professional sports team, group or league, so that's one less thing to worry about," Amanda said, "he and Amber just do it for whatever reason they do."

"Well I suppose that's nice to know…perhaps if they did, we'd be getting a lot less sleep around here," Duncan said.

"It is very much possible."

"Well what did Methos think of that racket?" Duncan asked.

"Methos?" Amanda asked, "are you kidding? Methos never got home last night."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Duncan, I think I would've known if he came back," Amanda said, "you can search through his room, check all the showers, and see if any beer's missing from the fridge…trust me, he's not here."

"Well I wonder where he could've…oh…"

"Oh what?"

"He went out with Phyllis last night, and if memory serves, you know how she can be."

"Yep, that woman is just one big pile of estrogen, she'd have to be."

* * *

"Allright, that's enough of that," Mizz said, "Richie, you move to pitcher, Amber, you're going to be the batter, and Myron, you're the catcher."

Amber tossed Richie the ball and took the bat from Shelly and Myron got behind her. Richie pitched the ball once, Amber missed, and so did Myron. He tossed it back to Richie, and they tried again, Amber hit the ball, but it still went behind her, and Myron missed it again. As they got ready to try again, Methos pulled in the driveway, went past all of them not seeming to notice any of them, and headed into the house and straight into the kitchen.

"Methos."

"Whatever I did, Amanda, I'm not in the mood for it right now," he said, "I've had a long night."

"What happened?" Duncan asked.

"Phyllis knows about us, about Immortals…and she also knows about me…what I really am…"

"Oh my God," Amanda said.

"How?" Duncan asked.

"She read my palm and traveled down to my wrist, WHAT DO YOU THINK? She used to be a Watcher, for 13 years she learned about Immortals and what we do…and she remembers you from the Watcher treason case in 1995," Methos told him.

"I don't believe this," Duncan said.

"Wait, wait, something doesn't make sense, Methos, once it was found out that you were an Immortal working in the Watchers, but they never found out who you really were…how does Phyllis know?" Amanda asked.

"It's a curse, she has ears that can pick up conversation fifty feet away…she heard us talking in private before, she overheard that, and several other things."

"Like what?" Duncan asked.

"She knows about the Horsemen."

Duncan groaned, "I don't believe this."

"I'm having a hard time myself," Methos said, "but there is a plus side to it."

"Oh and what could that possibly be?" Duncan asked.

"Since she retired from the Watchers six years ago, she has never said a word to anyone about Immortals, except to Immortals…that's the reason she quit in the first place, she fell in love with one, they planned to get married, but he lost his head…she knows to keep quiet about that stuff, evidently she'd about have to be, otherwise I don't think we'd still be alive now."

"I think he has a point," Amanda said.

"Maybe he does," Duncan said, "but are you sure you can trust her?"

"I don't know why not, she knew everything about us before we knew she knew, why should my knowing make any difference?" Methos asked.

If either Duncan or Amanda were going to say anything, they were interrupted when they heard an unusually loud sound of a baseball getting hit, seconds later, a baseball smashed through the front window. Duncan went in the room fuming, he picked up the ball and went over to the window and looked out at everyone. "WHO HIT THAT BALL?" he asked.

Everyone pointed at Amber and replied, "SHE DID!"

Duncan rolled his eyes, he stuck his neck out through what used to be the window, watching out for the sharp remains of the glass, and gestured for Amber to come towards him, "Amber, come over here."

Amber dropped the bat and went over to the window from the outside, "Yeah Mac?"

"Get in here," Duncan said.

Amber felt like throwing up, she knew that tone, and she knew what was going to happen if Duncan felt like it. All the same, she went in and went over to the room where Duncan was. "Yes?"

"Amber, would you care to explain this?" Duncan asked.

"I didn't know this would happen, honest…I saw the ball coming at me and I thought it'd hit me in the eye or something, so I just closed my eyes and swung, I didn't even know I hit it until the window broke…but if you think I did this on purpose, you…"

"Allright look," Duncan said, "I'm not going to yell at you, take you over my knee, or lecture you, and you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't have time for this right now, Methos just dropped a bombshell on us and right now I think I need to have a word or two with him…In a few hours, call the glass company and have them come up here and replace the window, allright?"

"Yeah…"

"Allright, now I don't care what you do next, but it's not going to be around here, now I suggest if you are going to be continuing this or doing something else, you get out of here and do it before I change my mind," Duncan said.

Amber quickly moved away from Duncan and out the front door again, he stepped over the broken shards of glass and headed back into the kitchen.

Methos and Amanda went into the front room to speak to Duncan and found him hunched over looking at the floor, as if he'd lost something.

"Is something wrong?" Amanda asked.

"Yes, I wanted to sweep the glass up before I called for a replacement window," Duncan replied.

Amanda and Methos glanced at each other and then they looked down at the floor, "Well you did a great job," Methos commented, "I've never seen the floor look better."

"I didn't do this!" Duncan said, "that's the thing, I came in here and it was already gone, who did this?"

"Amber did," Amanda said, "when you went on your run, she came back and cleaned it up."

"Oh."

"Would you mind telling us what exactly it was that you said to her earlier?" Amanda asked.

"I don't remember…" Duncan lightly laughed, "I was a bit sore at her for busting the window."

"So we heard that part," Methos said, "I didn't think you'd say anything enough to scare her."

"She was scared of me?"

"Well she did seem in a hurry to get it done and get out of here," Amanda said.

They heard the back door open and shut, and it wasn't long until they knew who had come in.

"Hey Amanda, I just came in for a…uh oh," Amber said as she walked into the front room.

Duncan knew she was looking at him, he saw her back up to the wall as she said, "goodbye…"

"Come back here, Amber," he said.

She popped her head back into the room, "What is it?" she asked bitterly.

"Come in here, I want to see you," Duncan said in a calm manner.

"You can see me from here."

"Get in here, I want to talk to you," Duncan told her.

"Sorry, not interested, bye-bye," Amber turned to leave.

Duncan got up and went after her and he picked her up and took her back into the room, Amber whining the entire time to be annoying.

"Shut up," Duncan told her as he put her down.

Amber stayed where she was for a minute not saying anything, just looking back and forth at Duncan, Amanda, and Methos.

"Amber…"

No sooner had Duncan said her name, Amber backed up against the wall. It became obvious to everyone in the room what she was expecting.

"Relax," Duncan said, "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Sure…that's what you said the last time too," Amber said, "and what happened?"

"The last time?" Amanda asked, "When was the last time?"

Now Duncan was at a loss for words, he didn't know whom to speak to, Amanda, or Amber.

"Wasn't last time in Hawaii when you put a crab in his bed?" Methos asked.

"No, when we were in Hawaii, he didn't say he wasn't going to hurt me, he just hurt me…and it was a lobster…no actually the last time he took me over his knee was a couple of months ago when you two went out for the night…Amanda went out to some fancy restaurant, and you went out to see Phyllis…Richie was visiting Roz…Duncan and I got in a fight, I threatened to throw my boot at him, then he made that meaningless promise…after a few more exchanged words he dragged me over to his chair and took me over his knee…Oh I put up a hell of a fight with him, but he won…couldn't sit down for the rest of the night, I had to sleep on my stomach."

"Duncan!"

Duncan had heard that tone of Amanda's voice before, it was not good.

"Anyway, what were you going to say?" Amber asked him.

"Well…" he said, "I wanted to apologize for getting mad at you about the window."

"Okay, bye-bye."

Amber turned and ran, nobody stopped her this time, Amanda turned around and Duncan recognized the look on her face.

"Duncan MacLeod…"

* * *

"I think I'm in the clear for now, but I also think Mac's in the doghouse for the time being," Amber said.

"Well nice to know things are turned around for a change," Mizz said, "what do you think he would've done if it was just the two of you again?"

"Who knows? I'm just glad Amanda and Methos were there when they were…"

"You know, if he does it again, maybe you should call in Connor," Richie said.

"Oh yeah, Richie, that's exactly what I want, to take one beating from the Scottish hothead at home, then call up the ultimate bad ass Scottish hothead, have him come up here and give me the mother of all beatings," Amber said, "I've heard the way he talks when he gets mad. When I stayed with him once, I told him about what Mac did to me, and he said if he caught Mac doing it again, he'd hide Mac until he…you know Richie, you're a lot smarter than people give you credit for."

"Well thanks…"

"So what's Shane up to?" Mizz asked, "I haven't seen the guy all day."

"He's probably just getting ready for that bike race next week," Amber said, "you should've seen the bike he's gotten for it…"

"Why?" Mizz laughed, "What's wrong with it?"

"This thing has pinwheels in the center of the wheels, and it's got all these horns and bells on the handlebars, and it…"

"Is that it?" Richie asked as he pointed at the figure coming up the street.

"Oh shit," Amber said, "That's Shane but that ain't the bike he had yesterday."

Richie, Mizz, and Amber saw Shane come up to them on a regular bicycle, the only odd thing about this one was that it had training wheels on it.

"Hello!" he said.

"Shane, what happened to your other bike?" Amber asked.

"Well, I couldn't ride it as well as I thought I could, and it fell apart," he replied, "so I got this one…"

"Oh boy," Richie muttered to himself, "this should be interesting."

"Do you want to see what I can do on it?" Shane asked.

"After lunch, pally boy, after lunch," Amber said, "we're about to collapse out here…how bout you join us?"

"Sure…"

Shane got off his bike and they headed into the diner and sat at a booth.

"So what're you guys doing this afternoon?" Mizz asked.

"Richie's going over to see Roz's house, but he won't tell me why," Amber said.

"I told you, it's private," Richie said.

"Uh-huh, I'll bet."

A waitress came up to them with a pen and a pad of paper, "Are you ready to order?"

"Sure why not?" Richie asked, "I'll take a loose meat sandwich, and a coke."

"I'll take some cold cuts and a coke."

"I'm feeling spicy today so just bring me two pieces of bread and some Swiss cheese, and American cheese, and pepperoni, and salami, and ham because you'll never get the order right, also some pickles for the side and a V8," Amber said.

"And you sir?" the waitress asked Shane.

"Uh…" he scratched his eyebrow for a minute as he thought, "oh, oh…green olives and jelly on whole wheat…and some Shasta."

"Coming right up…"

* * *

"I gotta tell you, after all this time, it's a bit weird knowing we won't have to go back to school on Monday," Richie said.

"I'll say," Amber said, "I mean, we've been going for over a year now, it's kinda burnt into my memory when to get up and when to fall back asleep in class…how bout you, Shane? Have you gotten expelled yet?"

"I don't know, I haven't checked," Shane replied.

"Shit, there's gotta be something to get you guys back in," Mizz said.

"No can do," Richie said, "that dean has it in for us."

"Yep, and now he's got it, we're out and he's still there," Amber added.

"And we got nowhere to go Monday morning," Richie said.

"You know, Richie, I'm a bit surprised at you, you always say how much you hate going to school, now that you can stay home you miss it?"

"Well you know, it's one of those things that you complain about, but you still hope they never change…you know, it's nothing that you're real crazy about, but you get adapted to it, and you miss it when it changes…"

"That's your view on college?" Amber asked.

"Pretty much…"

"Well then what are you going to do in three years when you graduate?" Amber asked.

"I haven't decided yet, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it," he said.

"Or blow it up," Amber added.

"What're you going to do when you graduate, Amber?" Mizz asked.

"I don't know…I'm not really good at anything…couple of nights ago I applied for a few jobs, got fired from all of them, but you already know about that."

"What'd you do?" Shane asked.

"Well first I tried to get a job as a waitress, but they wouldn't take me cuz I couldn't pass their rough housing redneck customer test…then I tried to get a job at a movie theater, but they threw me out because I made too much noise going in the theater rooms to bust the people that snuck in, lied about their ages, or were just there to cause trouble…after that, I got a job at a bar, that went okay for a while…but then this guy who was completely drunk, I know cuz I mixed all his drinks, grabbed a woman, who was still sober, and tried to get her to leave with him. She didn't want to go, so she resisted and started yelling for help, but nobody paid any attention. So I went over there with a triple sec bottle and busted it over his head, the woman got away and he came at me, so I picked up a bar stool and beat him over the head with that, and then the boss came around, wondering what all the noise was about…so he fired me for assaulting a customer, never mind that I helped another one."

"Shit," Richie said.

"Well anyway…" Amber said, "actually I was pretty good at that job, maybe I'll find another bar to work in."

"Get serious," Mizz said, "you can't be a bartender, you're not even old enough to work in one of those places, hell, Amber, you can't even legally get a drink."

"Well that's never stopped me before, besides, these guys don't have to know that I'm a few months too young to work in there…it's the only thing I've done at a job that I'm really good at."

"What about the Bloody Palace?" Richie asked.

"That was okay but…I didn't like having 300 pound guys, some of which were getting boners just looking at me in that outfit they had me wear, falling on me."

"Understandable," Richie said, "but suppose you found another place like that around here, one where the working conditions are a bit more comfortable?"

"If that ever happens, let me know," Amber said.

"Come on Amber, are you saying that you really want to be a bartender when you could be doing something else?" Richie asked.

"It's not something that I'm boasting about exactly, but money's money, besides, it's something that I'm good at, and I kinda like it…it's like being around you when you're depressed and I mix all those drinks for you…you know it's pretty much the same thing, only I'm doing more of it, and I'm actually getting paid…"

"Are you sure? I mean you got fired from the last one…"

"Yeah but that wasn't so bad, one thing my boss said to make sure I do, more importantly than anything else…make sure the money don't get up and try to walk away…well, I did that, and I made sure that half of the profits made on my shift, stayed tight in my pocket," Amber said.

"Really?" Richie asked.

"Sure, I got them in here right now," Amber reached into her pocket and pulled out several folded up bills and put them on the table.

"Hey Richie," Mizz said, "looks like Amber's more cut out for this job than you thought…let's see what you got there…"

Mizz unfolded all the bills and put them in a pile on one side of the table, "1…2…3…4…5…10…15…20…25…45…55…56…57…58…59…60…what kind of drinks were you fixing down there?"

"Just about everything," Amber said.

"Well I'd say lunch is finished," Richie said, "so Shane, how bout you show us what you can do on that bike of yours, now?"

"Okay, follow me!"

Richie, Amber, and Mizz paid for the lunch and followed Shane out the door, he was getting his bike, and getting ready to head downhill on it.

"I wonder how this is going to work out," Mizz said.

"I don't know, but what's the worst that could happen?" Richie asked.

"You know, you really need to learn to stop saying that," Amber said, "Allright Shane, show us what you can do on this deathtrap…I mean bicycle."

Shane walked his bike to the corner of the block and sat down, Amber said, "First let's make sure everything's where it's supposed to be, is the chain in place?"

"Yeow!"

"Are the brakes working?" Amber asked.

"Ooch!"

"Are the handlebars put down tightly?" Amber added.

"Ooooh!"

"Wait a minute Shane, you're supposed to say check, why you keep saying "Ouch!"?" Richie asked.

"Somebody left a tack on the bicycle seat," Shane replied as he held it out for them to see.

"Oh boy."

Shane tossed it aside and started pedaling down the hill.

"You know," Richie said, "he might do well in this."

Richie had spoken too soon, as they heard a crash, and looking down, they saw the bicycle had been smashed to pieces, and Shane's body had been thrown over a billboard.

"Sure Richie, he'll do great, if his competition in this bicycle race is by some chance, the Jackass crew," Amber replied.

"Shane are you allright, man?" Mizz asked as they rushed down the street to help him.

Shane moaned and groaned a bit before pulling his upper body up and around so he could look down at them, "That was fun, can we do it again?"

* * *

"Methos, I don't believe you!" Duncan said, "you're actually going to see her again?"

"Yes MacLeod, I am, and do you know why?" Methos asked, "Because I'm stupid…because I'm so idiotic I actually believe that after being out of the Watchers for six years, loving and losing an Immortal herself, and knowing what could go wrong this time around, that Phyllis will keep her word and say absolutely NOTHING to anyone about me, us, or anything else, good day."

Methos stormed out the front door, passing by Richie and Amber as they came back, without saying a word to them as he left, they went in and found Duncan standing in the middle of the dining room.

"What's wrong with him?" Amber asked.

"He and Duncan are having an argument over Phyllis," Amanda said.

"Oh really? Does Mac want her too?" Richie asked.

"No, he doesn't want Methos to see her because she used to be a Watcher," Amanda said.

"What?" Richie asked.

"Yes, she used to be a Watcher, until 1995 and she retired from them, also, she knows Methos is a Watcher and an Immortal, furthermore, she knows that he's really a 5,000 year old man," Duncan added.

"How does she know that?" Amber asked.

"She has an unusual sense of hearing," Amanda replied, "she's eavesdropped on a lot of our conversations."

"Oh boy," Amber's eyes widened up a bit as she turned to Richie.

"What?" Duncan asked.

"Nothing," Amber replied, "Come on Richie, let's see if…"

"Wait a minute," Amanda said, "wasn't Shane supposed to come back with you?"

"He was going to, but he went back to get another bicycle," Amber said.

"Another bicycle?" Amanda almost laughed, "What's wrong with that circus contraption he brought here yesterday?"

"It fell apart, so he got another one, a regular one," Amber said, "he rode it downhill and crashed into a billboard, so he's getting another one."

"Where's he getting them?" Duncan asked.

"I don't know, but I hope he gets one that stays in one piece soon," Richie said.

"Come on, Richie, let's get something to drink…it's HOT out there," Amber said.

"It's going to be getting even hotter," Amanda said, "they're saying next week it's supposed to reach 110 degrees."

"Sheesh, this is Tampa, Florida, isn't it supposed to stay at one warm temperature the whole year?" Amber asked.

"I wish it would," Duncan said.

"And since it's going to be getting hotter, I think I'll get some new bed sheets," Amanda said.

"What happened? Something happen to your others?" Amber asked.

"No, in hotter weather, you put sheets over the other furniture so it's not as hot as it would be without them…"

"And when the sheets get hot I know what you do," Amber said.

"What?"

"You get one of those big spray bottles and fill it up with ice water and you spritz the sheets so they'll be comfortable before the water evaporates."

"I got an idea," Richie said, "what's wrong with turning on the air conditioner?"

"Please, that thing hasn't been used in months, knowing our luck we'll be lucky if that thing works at all," Amber said, "besides, best case scenario's probably gonna be it'll work for a while, then blow up, and Mac will have to fix it."

"Funny," Duncan muttered.

Saturday afternoon passed into night, then Sunday morning, and that quickly turned to night, nothing too exciting was happening. Everyone had something different they had to do, everyone saw very little of each other, and it wasn't really until evening when Richie and Amber had gotten home that they had a chance to really see each other. Methos had continued seeing Phyllis, despite anything that Duncan had said or could say, they seemed to be getting along fine. Apparently it seemed that Phyllis did know how to keep her mouth shut when it came to Immortals, she had no knowledge of anything that had happened in the Watchers' society since the trial of 1995.

The heat was getting bad, people were starting to close their blinds in the afternoon to keep out the sun and the heat, others were lining all their furniture with bed sheets to keep them cool. By the time the sun went down, it was 91 degrees and even a slight temperature drop wasn't expected for hours.

It was late at night, Duncan and Amanda had been asleep for a while when the phone rang. Duncan answered it, still half asleep, "Hello? Yes…yes…you what? You will? Allright…yes goodbye…"

"Who was it?" Amanda yawned.

"That was Dean Crestwood, he wanted us to know that Amber and Richie are back in school, and Adam and I can return to work tomorrow as well," Duncan replied groggily.

"That's nice, dear," Amanda yawned as she turned on her side. Duncan eased down into the pillows again and was almost asleep as well, when they both shot up in shock at what they'd heard.

"Duncan, what did you just say?" Amanda asked.

"I said that the Dean wants us to all come back tomorrow morning…and also that Adam can continue seeing Phyllis if he wants."

They both screamed in excitement and grabbed each other, a few seconds later Duncan went out into the hall, and went over to Richie and Amber's room and knocked on the door. Amber opened it, "What do you want?"

"Amber, the dean just called and said that we're coming back tomorrow."

"This dean? Dean Crestwood?" Amber asked.

"Yes."

"All of us?" Amber asked.

"Yes, even Adam."

"And he won't have to stop seeing Phyllis?"

"No, isn't that great?"

"Yeah," Amber said flatly, "I'm about to burst."

"Tell Richie the good news, I'm going to go tell Methos."

"Okay," Amber slammed the door and went over to Richie's bed to wake him up.

She went over to the bed that hadn't been slept in, and she realized Richie was gone, he'd been gone every night for a while now, she knew where he went, he went to Roz's house. But for what, she didn't know, she had a good idea, although Richie wouldn't tell her, that meant something was up. Usually Richie had little trouble at least admitting that his sex life was active, but he wouldn't tell her anything that was going on over at Roz's.

"That there is a strange boy," Amber said, "one of these days, I'm going to have to get to the bottom of what he's doing."

Amber was a bit worried that she better find out soon what he was up to, or else she was worried there would be another case of Kim Jamison on their hands.


	6. Chapter 6

"Did you like what I did tonight?" Richie asked.

"Very much," Roz said.

She took $70 out of her pocket and handed it to Richie, "and here's the payment for your services."

"You know Roz, I've been thinking, I'm doing this stuff so well here with you, maybe I should get a job of doing it professionally," Richie said.

"I think before you did that, you'd need a lot more time doing it with me," Roz said, "it'll at least break you in."

"You know Roz, I've seen how a lot of guys do this kind of work, and I don't think it takes as much work and experience as they say."

"I don't know Richie…I still think you're what they would call a rookie in this line of work," Roz replied.

"Hey, I've been doing this kind of stuff for a while now. I've done it plenty of other times, with lots of different people, you still call that a rookie?"

"Maybe…I guess one of these days we'll just have to find a professional and get their opinion," Roz replied.

* * *

"Well Mizz, it's your own fault for leaving it on for so long," Amber said on the phone, "look…just take a cold shower, and it should return to normal."

Methos came into the room and Amber hung up, "Who was that?"

"That was Mizz," Amber said.

"What did he want?"

"Oh he did some experimenting with a cock ring and it…well it sort of backfired on him, now he's stuck with a boner that won't go away…"

Methos shook his head, "This is why sometimes I worry about the future generation."

"So…back to school tomorrow, huh?" Amber asked.

"Yep, and you?"

"If you're still teaching my classes, then I'm going," Amber said.

"Where's Richie?"

"He's at Roz Paz's house again…he's been going there every night and he won't tell me why."

"Well if he won't tell you there must be a reason."

"Oh come on, Methos, we both know that if Richie's shacking up with some floozy, I always know about it…sooner or later he tells me but he won't tell me about this and I don't know why."

"That's a bit unusual, even for Richie," Methos said.

"Yeah…what'd you want him for anyway?"

"I just wanted to talk to him."

"Anything in particular?"

"No," Methos turned and was about to leave.

"Well then do you mind if I talk to you?" Amber asked.

Methos stopped and turned back around, "about what? Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just bored and Richie's not here to keep awake," Amber replied.

"We'll talk in my room, then."

"Fine with me."

* * *

"Roz, is this really necessary?" Richie asked.

"Well you're enjoying this, aren't you?" Roz asked.

"Yeah but I just don't see why we have to get pictures of this…I mean isn't it enough that we're doing it?" Richie asked.

"Oh come now, Richie…these pictures will be so I can remember you by them when you're not here," Roz said, "besides, I want to get you in all your glory."

"Roz, trust me, there's little glory to what you're doing to me," Richie said.

"Oh shut up and smile."

There was a bright flash, Richie blinked repeatedly afterwards, "Damn it, can't you get rid of the flash?"

"Sorry Richie, that's the way it works," Roz said.

"Fine thing," Richie replied.

"Be quiet, I want to get some more pictures to make sure at least one turns out well," Roz told him.

* * *

Shane jumped over the fence and landed in the cemetery and he went over to the elm tree and placed a bouquet of orange roses down at Rachel's grave.

"Good evening, Rachel," he said, "I suppose you're wondering why I haven't been by as much as I usually am," he sighed, "well a lot's been going on…I got a job in demolition…which really is pretty interesting, I get to take a sledgehammer to whole places and completely destroy the insides…then when that's done they bring in the crew with the bulldozer and the diggers and…I think they still use a wrecking ball."

Shane laughed, "it's really great work…I like it, the pay's good…and it's something I'm good at."

There was a momentarily silence before Shane started up again.

"Anyway…I wrecked another bike today, and I better find one I can ride well soon, otherwise by the time that race comes up next Saturday, I'm going to be in trouble."

Shane sat down beside the grave. "Rachel…I don't know what I'm going to do…if they find out I killed that man, I don't know what's going to happen…I don't remember if they said those people can be trusted or not…I think they said some of them can, but most of them…I don't know…I'm at a loss of what to do…I don't know if I should tell them or not…"

* * *

"So that's the problem," Amber said, "I gotta find something in history to write about that involves great deception, tragedy, and it can't be in the least, politically motivated…I mean, what's left?"

"What about Vietnam?" he asked.

"I don't know how politics worked with that, but you can be sure that the teacher will find some way to connect the two," Amber said.

"Well, what's everyone else writing about?" Methos asked.

"They're all trying to think of some terminal illness they can all come down with by next Monday."

Methos laughed, "That's pretty typical…allright, I have an idea, why don't you make your report on thalidomide?"

"It would probably help if I knew what the hell it was," Amber replied.

"Thalidomide was a so called miracle drug presented back in 1958 that was supposed to help pregnant women with their morning sickness. It was highly used in Europe, Australia, and South America, after a while, the FDA decided it needed more testing and within time it was banned. Children were born some missing internal organs, others their organs had been mutated, probably more commonly, or more publicly known was that many of them had been born with tiny flipper-like appendages."

"Are you serious?" Amber asked.

"Look it up sometime, you'll see pictures of children with tiny arms that don't go lower than their chests," Methos said.

"Man, I'm glad I wasn't born a member of that generation," Amber said, "Methos…"

"What?"

"In the fall when I take my next history course, will you be the teacher again?" Amber asked.

"Why is it every semester you enroll in history?" Methos asked.

"I'm a sucker for it…unlike Algebra it's something that actually gets used in real life, unlike English it doesn't have to be presented in absolute perfection, I don't get the best grades, but it works for me."

"So it seems."

* * *

"Do you ever wonder what it's going to be like when we get out of here?" Shelly asked.

"Get out of where?" Joanne asked, "college? Tampa? …Life?"

"Face it," Mizz said, "we're stuck in our boring lives in the boring side of Tampa, attending the same boring college we have been and will be until either we graduate or we flunk. Life's not going to change for us."

"Oh yeah?" Joanne asked, "I bet it will once they start coming looking for us."

"Ah you're just being fruity," Jason said.

"Am I? You heard what they said, these guys are going to come after our heads one day, and when they do, we're going to have to be ready to fight them," Joanne said.

"Yeah right," Mizz said, "they'd have to be pretty desperate, whoever the hell they are…to want our heads. We haven't even killed anyone ourselves yet."

"I don't think it matters," Shelly said, "all they know is whether or not there is an Immortal nearby, they don't know how experienced they are. It's all done on a gamble, either the Quickening is worth the trouble to get it, or it isn't, it's as simple as that."

"And once they come around," Joanne said, "I think there'll be something said about being boring."

For hours these teenagers had driven to the alcove outside of the college, gotten drunk, most wound up on the hoods of their cars and rambled on while completely out of their minds, all the while smoking through packs of cigarettes and still drinking.

* * *

Methos was laying on his bed, half asleep, actually he'd probably be fully asleep if Amber would stop asking him questions. He turned over on his side, hoping the silence would last through the night, when he heard it.

"Methos."

"What?"

"Do you ever wonder what it's like when you're dead?"

"I have been dead, many a times."

"I mean permanently, the kind of death where either you spend burning in flames or…or doing whatever people do in heaven."

"Not usually," Methos replied.

"How come?"

"Because I like to think it's obvious where I'll go if I ever lose my head, which is why I intend not to."

"Well I think what it must be like."

"And how do you figure it is?" Methos asked.

"Well I think it must be nice…peaceful."

"Bleah," Methos said, "peace is highly overrated."

"Anyway…you always hear it's nice, it's quiet, there's no wardens, no teachers, fortunately for some of us, no priests…and you hear the sun's always shining, you walk on golden sidewalks, and all that…and you hear that everyone lives in these homes that would make any mansion down here seem like a dump…but it leaves a lot to question, don't you think?"

"Like what?"

"Like…these homes everybody lives in, are they all the same? And if so, how do you know which one belongs to whom? Do they have your name on them, or do they have numbers…for that matter, do you think you pay rent?"

Methos grunted as he rolled over onto his back again, this time he put a pillow over his eyes so if nothing else, he didn't have to look at anything.

"Another thing I wonder…some people say that animals go to heaven, where do you suppose they are? You think they have some kind of kennel up there for them? Or do you think they just run loose?"

"Why are you wondering about this all of a sudden?" Methos asked.

"Well you just never know…when you're going to die, how, by whom…and when you do, you have to wonder what happens next."

"I suppose that's true," Methos said.

"Let's face it…any one of us could meet our match tomorrow."

"I know that's true, and I suppose it's reassuring to know you'd be going to someplace nice…unfortunately some of us aren't that lucky," Methos replied, "Amber, are you going to bed soon, or am I going to be talking to you all night?"

"I'm going, I'm going."

Amber headed out the door and back across the hall to her own room, she shut the door and headed over to the window and looked out. She had half a mind to go out and spend the night on the town, but she decided otherwise. She went back over to her bed, laid down and brought the sheet up to her chest and she closed her eyes. A few seconds later, she felt the presence of another Immortal and she knew it was Richie. She heard the window open, and Richie climbed in.

"We have stairs, you know," she said.

"Shut up," he replied.

Amber opened her eyes and tilted her head back, "Rough night?"

"No…have you been asleep long?"

"I haven't been asleep at all," Amber replied, "I've been talking to Methos all night."

"Why?"

"Several reasons," Amber said, "namely he's the only one around who'll listen."

"Oh," Richie said, "sorry about that."

"Richie, I don't get what you and Roz can be doing that's so important you're going to her house every night, and I don't know what you can be doing that you can't tell me," Amber said.

"Look, Roz asked me not to say anything, and I would appreciate it if you would respect her wishes."

"Why?" Amber asked.

"Amber…I know you don't like what I'm doing, and I know you're not too crazy about Roz…"

"It's not just that," Amber said as she kicked off the sheet and sat up in the bed, "I'm worried about you Richie."

"Worried about me?"

"I don't like that you're seeing her every night and you won't tell me why…it just reminds me too much of when Kim was here…and the mess you were after you left her…I didn't like what happened then and I don't like what's happening now. You thought you were in love with Kim, you thought it would work…just like you do now with Roz."

"You think it's the same thing with Roz?"

"Not quite, it's not as bad yet…so far I haven't been tempted to rip her throat out."

Richie nervously laughed, "Trust me, Amber…it's not going to develop into that…"

"It better not," Amber said as she rolled back over in bed, "I've gone this far without having to serve time for murder, I'd sure hate for that record to be blemished."

Richie shook his head and headed over to his bed, "So what did you and Methos talk about while I was gone?"

"Oh…school…death…history…death…things that give the wrestling coach reason to live…death…Phyllis…death…Mizz…death…Kronos the so-called end of time, and Caspian, the…" Amber scoffed, "the thing that proved sicker than John Wayne Gacy…Jeffery Dahmer…hell, this guy was more demented than Ed Gein."

"Really?"

"Oh yes…and how…what he did would make…I don't know…you can dig up any psychotic…cannibalistic…murdering…bastard who's also into necrophilia…and this guy Caspian, would still be worse than any of them ever could."

"I find that a little hard to swallow," Richie said.

"Then maybe YOU should be the one talking to Methos at night," Amber said, "and not me."

"Well if he bothers you, don't talk to him," Richie said.

"I have to talk to somebody around here, otherwise I go crazy," Amber said.

"Then why don't you talk to yourself?" Richie asked.

"I get too many stupid answers," Amber replied.

Richie laughed again, "Amber…I think you should try and go to bed."

"Good idea, I have enough disgusting ideas to roam through my head for one night," Amber said, "goodnight."

"Goodnight."

* * *

Six A.M. and both Richie and Amber were up, they decided to make themselves presentable for when they went to school today, so Richie showered while Amber bathed. She was still washing up when the shower stopped running, the curtain was drawn back and Richie stepped out, he saw she was still in the tub and looked the other way.

"Oh come on, Richie, it ain't like you've never seen me naked before."

"True…doesn't mean I have to keep looking," Richie said.

"Richie…"

"What?"

"Do you have any idea why the dean's suddenly letting us back into the college?"

"Not a clue…who knows? Maybe someone paid him a visit," Richie said.

"Like who? Freddy Kruger?"

"I don't know…but I'm not going to question it, to be honest, I'm a bit excited about going back."

"Yeah, same here," Amber said, "I want to see if that dean will jump if one of us says 'boo'."

* * *

"Well don't you look precious?" Amanda asked.

"Ah, thank you," Duncan said as he came down the stairs.

"Not you Duncan."

Duncan turned around and saw Richie standing behind him, his hair was combed down flat, he'd showered and shaved, and he was wearing a button-up shirt with a tie, rather than the regular T-shirt and jacket he usually wore.

"Richie, you look wonderful," Amanda said.

"You look like an accountant," Duncan said, "Richie, it's a little early for Halloween."

"Duncan!" Amanda called.

"I mean it, all he's missing are some horn-rimmed glasses and a pen behind his ear," Duncan said.

Amanda slapped Duncan as she went up the third step to face Richie, "Don't pay any attention to him, Richie…you look wonderful."

"Yeah well…thought I'd try something different, of course Amber hasn't seen it yet," Richie said, "meaning I'm not out of the woods yet…she'll have her chance to point and laugh."

"And here she comes," Duncan said.

Amber came down the stairs, almost not noticing Richie except for the fact that he and Amanda were blocking the way down the stairs, "What's going on?" she asked.

"Amber, how do I look to you?" Richie asked.

Amber looked at him for a minute, "Put a patch over one eye, and mess up your hair."

"What?"

"I'm serious, do that and the look will be complete, you look like David Bowie," Amber said.

"Amber, come on," Richie said in a bit of an irritated tone.

"Richie…" Amber mocked Richie's tone, "if you want people to take you seriously, then take that crap off and put on your regular clothes."

Richie went back up the stairs and Amber and Amanda headed down the stairs.

"Well Amber, how are you today?" Amanda asked.

"You may want to hold that question, I haven't had anything with caffeine yet so it's too early to tell."

"Well Amber," Duncan said, "are you excited about going back to school?"

"Please, I miss one day and I should be happy to go back?" Amber asked.

"Where's Methos?" Duncan asked.

"Last I saw him, he was still upstairs getting dressed, he wants to make a very good impression on the students when he goes back," Amber said.

Methos came down the stairs wearing a white lab coat, spectacles on a chain, a white shirt, tight blue jeans, and white nurse's shoes.

"Now that looks terrible," Amanda said.

"Halloween here already?" Amber asked.

"Very funny," Methos said.

"No, what's funny is how you found nurse's shoes in your size," Duncan said.

"So what are you anyway?" Amber asked, "Victor Frankenstein?"

"No…I'm a professor at the college, so I thought I'd at least look the part."

Richie came back down looking his regular self and saw Methos, "And you people thought I looked bad."

"What's the matter with this?" Methos asked.

"Nothing, except that you look like Dr. Von Drake, the duck," Amber replied.

Methos rolled his eyes and shook his head, Duncan and Richie headed into the kitchen to get breakfast ready and Amanda was going to go and help them when they heard something coming from outside, that sounded like people screaming.

"What the bloody hell is that?" Methos asked.

Amber rushed to the front door and opened it, "Oooh! Here comes Shane on his new roller blades."

"Oh no you don't!" Methos went over to the front door, "Shane, you take those off before you—"

But it was too late, Shane rolled in and smacked right into Methos, they slipped back a ways and turned in the dining room heading into the living room and they both fell on the coffee table, breaking it. Methos wound up laying on top of the broken wood and laying underneath the 7-foot Immortal klutz.

"Shane," he said as he gasped for air.

"Yes?" he asked.

"GET…OFF…OF…ME!"

Methos shoved at Shane until he moved, Shane got back up and rolled over to the wall and held onto the woodwork for leverage.

"Shane, why did you come here in those things if you can't skate in them?" Amanda asked.

"I've learned how to skate in them," Shane responded, "I just can't get used to stopping…"

"Well why the hell not?" Amber asked, "You've had all night to get it."

"I know, I'm used to the brakes being on the front of the skates, not on the back, you lean back on them and you're bound to fall," he explained.

"What happened out there?" Richie asked.

"Methos took a fall," Amanda replied.

"Underneath Shane," Amber added.

"Oof!" Richie replied.

"What?"

"I said oof!"

"Oh," Amber said.

"Not 'oh', 'oof'!" Richie corrected her.

"What?" Shane asked.

Richie rolled his eyes and went back to the table.

"What is going on out there?" Duncan asked.

"Shane came in on his roller blades and knocked Methos down," Richie said.

"A fine thing," Duncan said.

"So Shane, how do these things fit?" Amber asked.

"Fine, except they cut into me," Shane answered.

"Are they too small?"

"No, they cut into me…that's what these roller blades do…they cut into people."

"Funny how they never mention that…now with roller skates you never have to worry about that."

"Oh no, not usually," Shane responded.

"You know something?" Amanda whispered to Methos.

"What?"

"It's scary how well those two get along."

"No kidding, now if only we knew who Shane's father was," Methos said.

"Why?" Amanda asked, "you think he and you could be friendly like that?"

"No, I think if his father and I ever met, his father would beat me into the ground."

"Then why would you want to meet him?" Amanda asked.

"Who said anything about meeting him? I just said if only we knew who he was."

"Shane, you came a little early," Amanda said, "we were just getting ready to eat, would you like to join us?"

"What're you having?" Shane asked.

"Omelets," Duncan called from the kitchen.

"Hate 'em," Shane replied as he sat down on the couch.

"Me too," Amber said, "that's why I usually skip breakfast."

"What else are you having?" Shane asked.

"Trout with jam!" Duncan bellowed.

"Hate it!" Shane called back.

"Coffee?" Amanda asked.

"Hate it."

"How about some leftover pizza from last night?" Amber asked.

"What kind?" Shane asked.

"Pepperoni," Richie called from the kitchen.

"Hate it!"

"Is there anything you like?" Amanda asked.

"I like turkey."

"Who doesn't?" Amber asked, "Unfortunately the only turkey in this house is the one fixing the omelets."

"How about chicken?"

"The only chicken in the house is over there trying to make himself look like a professor, trust me, there's not enough meat on him to fit the term 'eats like a bird'," Amber replied.

"What about ham? Do you have a ham?" Shane asked.

"Yes, but he's helping the turkey break the eggs," Amber added.

A pineapple was thrown out of the kitchen and narrowly missed Amber.

"How about fruit? You want some fruit?" Amber asked.

"Sure."

"Fine, I'll see if I can get the ham to toss out anything else," Amber said.

Amber ducked as a bunch of grapes came flying her way, they were followed by two red plums, two grapefruits, a mango and a banana. When Richie ran out of things to throw, Amber stood up again and turned around and let out a shocked, incoherent sound. Methos had been caught in the line of fire and was now wearing the fruit, the grapes on the top of his head, the plums over his eyes, the grapefruits in his shirt, resembling two large breasts, the mango was splattered over his nose and the banana was stuck half-way in his mouth, peeling and all.

Everyone tired to fight back the laughter but it soon became an impossibility, the plums fell out of place and Methos' eyes sharpened in anger until they became slanted slits on his face, and everyone got the message to stop.

"Sorry Methos," Amber said, "I just couldn't resist."

"Hold still, Methos…I'll get it off," Amanda said as she removed the grapes from the top of his head.

"Hey Richie," Amber said as she and Shane barged into the kitchen, "that was a nice try, but next time why don't you watch where you're throwing the fruit? You clobbered Methos with it and now he's wearing it for a face."

"Really?" Richie asked, "I gotta see this."

Richie went past them and headed into the other room.

After settling down to a breakfast of fruit that hadn't been tossed, ham sandwiches and leftover pizza, Duncan, Methos, Richie, Amber, and Shane got ready to leave for school.

Methos took a detour into the living room and over to the couch, "I'll be with you in a minute, I have to roll up these legs a bit."

"Shane, what'd you do with your roller blades?" Richie asked.

"OUCH!"

"Whatever he did with them, I think Methos found them," Amber said.

They headed into the living room, Methos had shot up from his seat on the couch where it became obvious he'd sat on the roller blades.

"Oh yeah," Shane said, "I took them off and put them on the couch where nobody would trip over them."

"Well, let's go," Methos said.

"Fine, you're going with Mac, Richie and I are going in his car…and Shane, are you going to show us your newest bike to try out for the race?" Amber asked.

"Yes, it's down the block, I'll go get it," he said.

Shane dashed out the door and down the block, they headed outside and onto the front porch, but they didn't move much further than that, they knew he'd be right back. What they saw was even funnier than Methos getting fruit in the face, Shane rode up the sidewalk on a mountain bike with training wheels…training wheels on the back wheel, training wheels on the front wheel, training wheels on the seat, training wheels on the handlebars.

"Oh Lord, oh Lord," Amanda moaned as she put a hand over her eyes, "that boy is going to make a fool of himself if he takes that to a public race."

"Shane," Richie said, "I don't know if anyone ever told you, but you're only supposed to have training wheels on the back wheel, why did you put them all over your bike?"

"Oh I didn't do this," he replied, "it came like this, ain't it nifty?"

"It's definitely something," Methos murmured to Duncan.

"Well come on," Duncan said as he headed off the porch, "we don't want to be late on our first day back to school."

"I'll meet you guys there," Shane turned around on his bike and headed down the street.

Methos and Duncan got in the T-bird, Richie and Amber got in his car and they were gone shortly afterwards.

"So this is what it's like," Amanda said to herself as she turned around and headed back into the house, "to have a family in college…I'm glad we stopped at two kids…well…three if you can count Methos."


	7. Chapter 7

Richie's first class had just let out and no sooner had he left the classroom, Amber came running up and she jerked him by his arm and had him follow her down the hall.

"I'm coming, what's going on?" he asked.

"Adam's teaching Personal Wellness, come on."

"Amber, we don't even take Personal Wellness, why would I want to go there?"

"Because you are not going to believe what he's going to do."

Amber kept pulling Richie along until they reached the classroom, they moved down near the front so they could see Methos when he came in. A few minutes later, Methos entered the classroom and took a seat behind his desk, he missed the seat and fell on the floor. Picking himself up, he sat down right this time.

"Good morning, class…now today, we're going to be going over some not-so biological terms for parts of the human bodies…for starters, I fear by the time this session is through, I will have a severely bruised arse."

Many of the students laughed and looked around at each other, then they quieted down again.

"Now, we are into the last few chapters of the book, which are the chapters dealing with alcohol, drugs, and sex…which I'm assuming are all listed as your favorite things…first we'll talk about sex."

A bunch of the students threw their hands up and started cheering and wailing and whooping.

"Now, most of you should know how it goes by now, but if there are some of you who don't…well basically the way it goes is when two peoples' hormones start going wild on them…they do something that has been going on for thousands of years…the man puts himself into the woman…sounds simple enough, but it isn't…now, most teachers are likely to say what you do on your own time is your own business…but I beg to differ…

"There are a lot of questions about sex…how's this position work? How effective is that condom? What do you do with hairy palms? Well, where do we start with the questions?"

"In the beginning, duh!" Shelly answered.

"Yeah, in the beginning, like…the first times," Amber added.

"Allright…" Methos said, "well…ancient laws believe that the first time must be done in wedlock, but modern society begs to differ…and with many of you being of this generation, I know you have, will, and are abiding by the more modern ideas on sex…well for those of you in this class, there is a lot to discuss…for the ones who will…the first time…and personally, I don't care what anyone says, if you're under 18, you're in for it…

"Anyway…there are a lot of things to consider during the first time as well…some may wonder whether or not to use a protection…although some probably wouldn't find it necessary since they believe the load of bull that women can't get pregnant doing it the first time. Trust me, big of an issue as it is and life-wrecking as it can be, pregnancy is one of your less worries…these days you have to look out for AIDS and HIV, and herpes, and the clap, and a wide variety of sexually transmitted diseases, all of which can be avoided if you use your head instead of your genitalia in these situations…"

Some of the students laughed, but Methos continued, "yes…I too am aware of the idea that when it comes to sex, thinking is one of the last things that men do, because let's face it…the head they're using during intercourse doesn't have a brain."

That got a lot more of the students laughing, some outright howling and throwing their heads back.

"Take it from someone who has lived through the sexual revolution, and a very traumatic period of time…his entire life…if you're not married and you're involved in sexual activity with someone, make sure that you are ready to have sex…putting the emotional part aside for a minute…you're best off to know if this is your partner's first time as well…if not, find out how many partners they have been involved in during the past, find out what they did…and get tested before you even think of getting laid. Now, talking of protection, you have condoms, cervical caps, diaphragms, IUDs, spermicides, and pills and patches for the women so they don't get pregnant, and that is very nice and all, but there are still risks…even with all this protection…there are risks to what you do."

"Condoms for instances, are 90 effective in protection against AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy…however, the other 10 can be and is very risky…and do keep in mind that condoms can and do break…so although they can be useful, I would not suggest you use them to stay out of trouble…no more than I would recommend cervical caps, IUDs, or diaphragms…which brings me to the point that they should not be recommended for reasons as they are poorly effective, extremely uncomfortable, and do not tend to stay where they're put…no…there is no absolute safe method or protection for sex…if you're with someone else doing something together, naked…there are risks…

"Now, aside from protection, you have other things to consider during the first time…a lot of young people tend to wonder if it hurts…for the man, no…for the woman, maybe yes, maybe no, it just depends on the woman…also depends on how the man acts…now men don't tend to think so much about what the woman feels since they don't ordinarily feel any pain…but let this be a warning to all the men in this class…you may not have a problem with it, but you must remember that women, no matter how brute or manly they seem, can be and usually are very sensitive when it comes to this…especially since we're talking about activities that involve the bundle of nerves between the women's legs…if you're having sex with a lady, make sure it's as good for her as it is for you…otherwise you may end up just like Lorraina Bobbit's husband."

A lot of the women started laughing and the guys mouthed 'oof' and folded their arms over their groins.

"I have a question," Amber raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"What exactly do you do if a guy says he doesn't like protection cuz it doesn't feel natural?" Amber asked.

"Ah…then, you're probably best off to grab him, knock him against the wall and threaten to make him experience the same pain childbirth can be described as…only instead of just in the groin, you guarantee that his pain will be throbbing in every inch of his body…which brings me to another point…ladies, ladies…please…if you do insist on having sex before marriage, even if you and your partner are doing it for the first time…make sure that you use protection…and don't listen when he says 'this don't feel natural', because you know what?" Methos asked as he shoved a basketball into his shirt and stood up with his coat wide apart for everyone to see, "neither does this…6,000 years later, and it's still uncomfortable to carry something the size of a watermelon in your stomach, only for it to come out through something the size of a mango."

Some of the students laughed again, it got even louder when Methos realized that the basketball was stuck in his shirt. So he hiked up his shirt up to his chest to get the ball out…but very few people noticed the ball then…a lot of the women were focusing on his physical build and started whistling and howling and barking. Methos stuffed his shirt back into his jeans and told the women to either quiet down or to go take a quick cold shower.

* * *

"I can't believe that the dean just suddenly let Richie and Amber and Mister MacLeod and Mister Pierson back here," Shelly said, "I wonder what made him change his mind?"

"I don't know, but I'm glad he did," Jason said.

"Well now you know who to thank for that," Mizz said.

"Who?" Joanne and Roz asked.

"Me."

"What?" Joanne asked.

"Yeah…I went to the dean's house last night…well actually I broke in…and he woke up with a blade at his throat."

"A butcher knife?" Roz asked.

"Broadsword," Mizz responded, "I gave him a warning that if he knew what was best for him, he'd let them back in here, no questions asked…and I also told him if he said one word to the police, I'd kill him before he knew what hit him."

"I don't believe you did that," Roz said.

"But now he's going to know that you broke in and threatened him," Shelly said.

"Oh no he won't…I was covered in a black suit and gloves, and I was wearing one of those Michael Myers masks when I was in the place…plus I took something that lowered my voice for a while…so he'll never know it was me," Mizz said, "besides, we were saying how something had to be done to get them back in here…so I did something."

"I just can't believe that you did that," Roz said, "what made you so sure that it would work?"

"He was lying down in bed, I was on my feet, and I had the blade to his neck…who do you think was going to win?" Mizz asked.

* * *

Methos had conducted a survey among the students to find out who had done what. They were all hesitant at first, but after assuring them that nothing they confessed to would leave the classroom, they joined in on it.

"Allright, who here has smoked marijuana?" he asked.

Several of the students raised their hands.

"And how many have tried cocaine?"

A few of the same students raised their hands again.

"And how about crack?"

A few more hands were shown.

"Here's a big one…how many of you have done speed?"

A lot of the students raised their hands to that one.

"And how many here have had at least once before in their lives an alcoholic beverage?"

Almost everyone in the room raised their hands.

"And who here has had sex?"

A lot of the students raised their hands, Richie did, and Amber started to, but she quickly lowered her hand.

Methos' voice suddenly became cocky, "Who likes to masturbate?"

A lot of the guys raised their hands, yelling and howling as they did so, a few of the girls did as well, and Richie was surprised to see Amber with her hand in the air, whooping and howling along with the guys.

"Oh that's always a good one to ask," Methos said, "allright, we've discussed sex, now we're going to discuss drugs…now, some of you admit to taking heroin and morphine and Demerol, others…in fact many of you have admitted to taking speed…the first three drugs are all used commonly in hospitals as sedatives and tranquilizers…in fact the next time any of you go to the hospital, you may as well just ask them for a doggie bag…these drugs are commonly used there to either keep you calm and sleep, or to just shut you up…

"Now speed on the other hand, is basically what some people would call freeze-dry coffee…a lot of you take it, I imagine, to stay awake, because let's face it, some of you have a lot to do, you come to the college, some of you have jobs, some have husbands or wives, some of you even have children by now…so you may look at speed as just a way to keep going instead of sleep, but sleep…"

Methos' lecture was cut short by the unmistakable noise of someone snoring in the classroom. He looked around, sharply eyeballing everyone but he couldn't find anyone asleep. Everyone else looked around to see if they could find the anonymous snoozer, but to no avail. Finally Methos realized that the snoring was coming from under his desk, so he stuck his head down there to investigate.

"Hey! Who is snoozing while the professor is giving a lecture down there? Who is…oh!" Methos laughed as he came back up with his bare foot in his hand.

His foot was flexing and pointing lightly, and it seemed to everyone in the room that it was also snoring.

"How about that? My own foot went to sleep," Methos wagged his finger at it accusingly, "oh shame on you for snoring while, your daddy is talking."

Methos looked around his desk and eyed a vase of flowers, he threw the flowers away and poured the water on his foot, it went stiff and shut up and he put it back down.

"But what am I getting all excited about? This is not the first time that somebody has snored through one of my lectures," Methos said, "allright, everyone pay attention to what I'm about to tell you…this week you are all going to take your finals, and I wish you all good luck and hope you do well…don't get me wrong, it has been nice having all of you here to teach, but I'm not looking forward to seeing any of you back in my classes next semester…by the end of the week, you'll be out for three months, and…some of you will be leaving the college permanently by then…I wish you all the best during this week and after."

* * *

"Are you going to be going to Roz's house again tonight?" Amber asked.

"Oh no, I forgot to tell you last night was the last night for a while I'll be going over there…and now, all this secret business between she and me, it's all over…pretty soon the whole school's going to know what she and I have been doing."

"Oh God," Amber groaned, "she's going to announce to the whole school that you two are shacking up?"

"Amber, it's not what you think," Richie said.

"Not what I think? Richie, the only reason you go to her house is to be with her, and we both know what happens when you're with her."

Richie and Amber walked up to the second floor while their discussion continued and Richie stopped at a door.

"Why'd you stop?" Amber asked.

"This is it," Richie said.

"This is where it's going to happen?"

"Yes," Richie turned the knob and opened the door, "come on in."

"What? You're going to give a visual aid to the entire class?"

"Come on, it's not as bad as you think."

Richie had to pull Amber by the wrist to get her to go into the room, she looked around and saw a bunch of students by easels with large paintings placed on all of them.

"What the hell is this?" Amber asked.

"This is Roz's art class, come on, sit down," Richie said.

Richie and Amber sat down close to the back of the room, looking around, Amber got a better look at some of the paintings, some were of people, others of cities, towns, fields, a couple were of animals, others were heavily wooded areas. Some paintings were good, some weren't so good, but near the front of the room there was an easel that was empty, she guessed that one was Roz's.

Another door on the other side of the room opened, and Roz came in with a man behind her, he was obviously the art teacher.

"Well Miss Paz, I must say that this is by far your most impressive work, I don't see any reason why you won't be able to pass this class if you do this well on the rest of your final projects."

"Thank you, Mister Peterson," she said.

"Now listen up class, I want you to take a look at some of Miss Paz's work, so you can see what really happens when you apply yourself," the man said.

Roz put up her first painting on the easel, Amber's jaw dropped and her eyes went wide, it was a painting of Richie in an old Scottish outfit, right down to the blue and green kilt. Some of the students went 'ooh' and 'ah', Amber laughed at the top of her lungs and slammed her head on the table.

"Richie, that's you!" she said.

Richie started turning red in the face and he jerked her shirt so her upper body was thrown back with it, and she got the message to shut up. A few other paintings Roz did were put up, most were with Richie, each one looking from a different time period, the Bronze Age, the 18th Century, the 19th Century, even early 20th Century, etc. One showed Richie in a suit of armor, another as a Scottish warrior, another as a Civil War soldier, all of which it seemed he was caught in the act of swordplay with an enemy.

* * *

"What do you say?" Shane asked, "can I be on the track team?"

"Well…" Randolph Cruise stalled as he tried to think of something to say.

"You saw him, Randolph, you know how fast he can run," Duncan said, "is he on the team or not?"

Cruise groaned, this was not going to be easy, "uh…no."

"What?" Shane and Duncan asked.

"I'm sorry but, we found someone else to finish off this week…we put him on the team last Friday."

Duncan looked at Shane, he expected Shane to start yelling at him, to start using every obscenity in the book, he expected Shane to do something…all he did was stand there with a broken look on his face. Without a word, Shane finally left the room, Duncan went out after him.

"It wouldn't have mattered Shane, it would just be one week and it'd be over," Duncan said, "you can try again next semester."

"Yeah, sure…"

"Can I ask a stupid question?" Duncan asked.

"Why not?"

"Why do you even want to be on the track team?"

"For the competition."

"Ah," Duncan said, "well…I'm sure that you'll see a lot of competition when you come back in the fall…in the meantime I'm sure you find other things to keep you busy with competition."

"Like what?"

"Like the bike race on Saturday, did you forget that?" Duncan asked.

"Oh yeah…what else?"

"Well you don't always know what to expect, there's always some kind of competition going on somewhere…I'm sure you'll find something."

"I hope so…I get bored very easily," Shane said, "and you know what can happen when I get bored."

"Oh yes, I know…"

Duncan knew that Shane had a habit of getting into trouble when he got bored, he'd go out and look for something to do, but nothing would ever happen in his favor.

* * *

"I can't believe it," Amber said, "that's what you were doing every night at Roz's house? Putting on weird costumes and posing for her?"

"Well Roz was about to fail her art class and she needed some help with painting people…so she asked me if I'd model for her, she changed a few things around so it wouldn't be too obvious who was in the paintings," Richie explained.

"But you didn't tell me?" Amber asked.

"Amber, I'm sorry, but I didn't want to risk you telling the wrong person and then Roz would get kicked out for using a real person as a model, rather than her own 'skills'."

"Who would I tell?" Amber asked, "if it was that important to you that I didn't tell, I wouldn't have."

"I'm sorry…"

"Hey…I'm just your friend, Roz is someone important to you, if it was that important to you that no one know so she wouldn't get in trouble, then I respect that."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, whatever…come on, let's go."

"Where're we going?" Richie asked.

"I have a final in history and you have a final in whatever the hell your next class is."

* * *

The final week of college had come and gone, the students had taken their tests and more or less passed, Richie and his friends being no exception.

"And so, as the old saying goes, 'no more school, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks', and about damn time," Amber said.

Richie laughed, "so what time does that bicycle race start tomorrow?"

"2 in the afternoon," Amber replied, "meaning it wouldn't matter too much if we went out and had a good time tonight."

"Well, what do we do?" Richie asked.

"Well…we can round up everyone who's free, and go see a movie."

"What movie?" Richie asked.

"Okay…scratch that idea…" Amber thought for a minute, "how about we go out to one of those erotic bars and heckle the strippers?"

"Amber…"

"Allright, allright…you know what, Richie? You find something to do and just go on without me," Amber said.

"What?"

"I have to find another job," Amber said, "and I hope I have better luck tonight than I did last time."

"Good luck," Richie said.

"Luck," Amber repeated, "I need a miracle."

"You want me to come with you?" Richie asked.

"Thanks Richie, but I can do poorly enough on my own, the last thing I need is to get fired even quicker from the help of Tweedledee the wonder dummy."

Amber threw on her motorcycle jacket and went over to the window and climbed out.

* * *

"Here's to a beautiful three months," Mizz said as everyone raised their beer bottles in a toast.

"Here-here."

They clinked their bottles and went back to drinking.

"So Richie, what're you planning to do this summer?" Joanne asked.

"Not too much," Richie said.

"You mean not too much out of the bedroom, huh?" Jason asked.

The guys started laughing, and Richie turned a bit red in response, "Na, not really…"

"Well Richie…now that school's over, Amber let the cat out of the bag and told us about you and Roz," Eddy said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah…so uh…when you were modeling for Roz…what all did you do?" Joanne asked.

"What do you mean?" Richie asked.

"Well, did you do any nude modeling for her?" Shelly asked.

Richie's eyes went wide as he looked up at her, "What? No! No I didn't."

The girls started laughing, "hey Richie, it's okay…we just figured you two are obviously smitten, it wouldn't surprise us if you did."

"Hey bartender!" Mizz called.

The bartender came over to their table, "yes?"

"How's about another round of drinks?" Mizz asked.

"Sorry sir, but I'm going off duty momentarily…the next bartender will take your order."

"Sheesh, what's it take for some good service around here?" Shelly asked.

"I don't know," Lacy said.

Richie felt the presence of another Immortal and looked up and his jaw dropped when he saw their bartender.

"Amber!"

"Hey Richie," she said, "allright, what do y'all want?"

"Another round of beers," Myron said.

"Fine…what kind do you want?" Amber asked.

"What kinds do you have?" Eddy asked.

"We got two kinds here," Amber replied, "the kind in the aluminum cans from Milwaukee, and the kind in the green bottles from Germany."

"Is the stuff from Germany any better?" Mizz asked.

"Hell if I know," Amber said, "they don't like you to drink on the job."

"Eh, surprise us," Joanne said.

"Allright."

Amber turned back around and went into the back room to get their drinks.

"I don't believe this!" Richie said.

"What?" everyone asked.

"I knew Amber was looking for a job, but I didn't think she'd look for one down here," Richie said.

"Well what's the problem?" Mizz asked.

"Yeah, I think she makes a cute bartender," Jason said.

"Yeah well don't let her hear that, she'll see to it that you can't have kids," Richie said.

Jason laughed, Amber came back around with a tray full of beer bottles and set them on the table.

"Amber, can you talk for a few minutes?" Richie asked.

Amber looked back towards the back room, "sure, what do you want?" she asked as she sat down.

"What are you doing working here?" Richie asked.

"Oh…I was going to tell you when I got home," Amber said, "I'm working the ten to two shift around here now."

"Of all the places in Tampa, you had to get a job here at a bar?" Richie asked.

"Well gee Richie…" Amber said sarcastically, "they wouldn't take me over at the strip club because they found out my I.D. was fake."

"I'm just saying, you had to be a bartender again?" Richie asked.

"What's the problem with being a bartender? It's not like we don't have alcohol in our house anyway…besides, I told you I wouldn't mind doing it again if I had the chance."

"Amber…"

"What? You think I could do better?" Amber asked, "maybe I could…but what I'm looking for is a paycheck, not a reputation."

"Yeah, what?" Shelly said, "you think we're going to college to become some great lawyers or doctors or police officers or some crap like that?"

"We're just going to college so that when we get through with it, maybe we can get a semi-decent job and get the hell out of this Godforsaken town," Eddy said.

"That's the way it usually is," Mizz said.

"And that's the way it's going to be with us," Joanne said.

* * *

Richie and Amber had sneaked home and gotten ready to go to sleep, Richie changed into some clean clothes for tomorrow, and when he came back into the bedroom, he found Amber sitting at the foot of her bed, staring at the pictures of her parents. He'd caught her doing it a few times before, recently…he knew that she was just getting ready for the 14th of the month, and it would be coming sooner than expected.

"You allright, Amber?" he asked.

"Fine," Amber put away the pictures and crawled up to the pillows on her bed.

"Well…"

"Well what?" Amber asked.

"Nothing."

"Fine, then go to bed," Amber said.

Richie went over to his bed, drew back the covers and slipped underneath them and pulled them up to his chest again. Amber turned out the lights and they laid down and stretched and were ready to fall asleep.

"Amber…"

"What?" she asked, obviously irritated.

"I love you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…I love you too, now goodnight!"

"Goodnight."


	8. Chapter 8

"Well, what bike do you think Shane will have with him today?" Richie asked.

"I don't know, but it can't get any worse than what we've seen in the past week," Amber said.

Richie was gathering up his dirty laundry and he found something underneath a T-shirt.

"What's this?" he asked.

Amber turned and saw the small envelope addressed to them, she took it from Richie and opened it. "It's a letter from Jeremy."

"Oh boy, what's he say?" Richie asked.

"He wants us to tell him how the races goes…and he says to tell Shane that he wishes him good luck…he also says he misses us, and he can't wait to see us."

* * *

"Well after we get back, I'll be sure and tell him how everything went," Richie said.

Methos entered the kitchen looking like death had run him over and then back up and tried again.

"Well look who just got in," Amanda said.

"Very funny," Methos sneered.

"Another date with Phyllis?" Duncan asked.

"Who else?"

"Boy, Methos…you've really been seeing a lot of Phyllis lately."

"I know, she's really excited that college is finally out…now we can be together even more."

"More?" Amanda asked, "If you two see anymore of each other, you might as well get married."

"Well I guess we might as well anyway, I have no secrets from her, she knows everything about me…" Methos said.

"Yeah, just like she knows everything about us," Duncan said.

"Well, at least we know she won't let the Watchers know anything," Amanda said.

"I sure hope so, otherwise we may all be in for a rude awakening," Duncan said.

"Duncan, you don't really think…"

"I don't know what to think, all I know is that she was in the Watchers for 13 years."

"And she left because she fell in love with an Immortal," Methos said.

"And he got killed…but do we know for sure that he wasn't killed by one of the Watchers?"

"Duncan MacLeod, I just don't believe the way you talk," Amanda said.

"Me either," Methos said, "MacLeod…"

"What?"

"Do you have any idea that you're talking like a duck?"

* * *

"Are you ready to go?" Richie asked.

"Yep…let's go see Shane tear up the race track."

Richie and Amber arrived at the foot of the stairs when Amanda and Methos came out of the kitchen.

"Richie, I'm afraid Duncan won't be able to come to the race today," Amanda said.

"Why not?" Richie asked.

"Yeah…I thought he wanted to see Shane win."

"He does, but Duncan got a bit of a cold."

"A cold?" Richie repeated, "Immortals don't get colds."

"Who are you to talk?" Amber asked, "we're both Immortal and we caught the flu."

Duncan came out of the kitchen looking irritated, "Amanda, I am coming to the race."

"No you're not, Duncan."

"Yes I am, Amanda."

"Duncan, you cannot come with us, you have a cold."

"I do not have a cold!" Duncan replied.

"Then why are you talking like Donald Duck?" Richie asked.

"Okay, okay, so I picked up a little bug…but I'm going to that race."

"Duncan…"

"Don't start on me, Amanda…I took some cold pills, I'll be fine."

"How many did you take?" Richie asked.

"Five."

"Five?" Amber repeated, "Mac, you're not supposed to take anymore than three of those damn pills a day."

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me, the guy at the drugstore said so," Amber said.

"How would he know?" Duncan asked.

"It's his own sleeping pills, he's made them himself…something his father concocted 20 years ago…you don't know what's in those things."

"Like it'll hurt me, huh?" Duncan asked.

"Allright, allright…Richie, Amber…Squeaky," Amanda said, "everyone out to the car."

"I'm not riding with him," Richie said.

"Me either," Amber added.

* * *

"I wonder where Shane is?" Richie thought, "it's kind of hard for him not to be here for his own race."

"I don't know…I'm trying to find him in the bunch of all these hicks," Amber said as she looked around.

"Any sign of him?" Amanda asked.

"None," Richie replied.

"And where's Mac?" Amber asked.

"Oh who knows?" Amanda asked.

"Who cares?" Methos asked.

"Come on, they'll be starting the race soon," Amanda said, "let's go find our seats."

Amber and Richie were going to follow Amanda and Methos when they heard a bicycle bell. They turned around and saw Shane riding up to them on a bicycle built for two.

"Hi guys!"

"Shane, is that your bike?" Richie asked.

"Yes, and I tested it all night last night, it works!" Shane exclaimed with glee, "this one's not going to break down."

"I certainly hope not," Amber said, "but Shane, don't you need a second rider on the back of this thing?"

"I don't know," Shane replied, "nobody told me if I did…besides, I ride just fine on my own."

Richie and Amber looked at each other and told him, "good luck."

"Well, the race is going to start, we'll see you at the finish line," Richie said.

"Okay!"

Everyone found their way to their seats, except for Duncan who was still lost. However, that was shortly forgotten when they heard Phyllis coming through the seats.

"Excuse me…pardon me…watch it pencil neck!" Phyllis said as she stepped over several of the former athletes, "Adam! Adam! Oh Adam!"

Methos turned bright red as she neared them, and even Amanda could tell it wasn't sunburn.

"Adam," Phyllis called as she sat beside Amanda, who sat beside Methos, "my little ear wig…did you think I wouldn't be coming to the race?"

"To be honest, Phyllis…I really had no idea what to think."

"Oh, well I'm here…I didn't want to miss seeing Shane win this thing."

"How can you be so sure about that?" Amanda asked.

"Honey, please," Phyllis said, "take a look around at the competition…all very young men, good athletes, the traditional athletes."

"Huh?"

"These boys spend probably as much time, if not more, boasting and looking good to the ladies, than they do concentrating on the actual events. Now Shane's not like that, he's been hidden from the public for most of his life, so he knows more about the devotion to events like this, and the passion for it, not the glory…that in itself should be enough to get him through this race," Phyllis said.

"I guess when you think about it like that," Richie said, "he stands a better chance than everyone else in the race."

"You ain't whistling Dixie," Phyllis told him.

"I wish we knew what happened to Duncan," Amanda said.

"Oh I'm sure he's allright…what's he been doing today?" Phyllis asked.

"He had a cold, so he overdid it on those home-made cold pills from the drugstore," Richie explained.

"Oh Lord," Phyllis said, "that man is an idiot…Amanda, why did you marry him?"

Shane was 13th in the race of 16 riders, looking around he saw all the other men were on mountain bikes, and none of which seemed to happy to have him as an opponent.

"We're gonna murder you, ya freak," one of them said.

Shane was almost sure he'd imagined the threat, but he heard cheering and yelling coming from the bleachers.

"Don't listen to them!" Phyllis called out, "wipe 'em out, Shane!"

Her yelling caught the attention of some of the other racers.

"You take care of them now!" Phyllis told him, "and we'll mop the floors with them LATER!"

"Who the hell is that? Your fan club?" another racer asked.

The gun was fired and the race was on, Shane had trouble getting past the starting line, but once he got the rock out from in front of him, he managed to pick up speed. By this time, two races had already fallen off their bikes and were out of the race. Shane was right side by side with another racer who was trying to knock Shane off balance, but Shane got ahead and the racer knocked the empty half of the bike and instead, he fell off his bike.

"This is better than the movies," Phyllis laughed.

"I wonder where MacLeod is?" Methos thought as he looked around, "he should be seeing this."

"Oh no!" Amanda said, "would you look at that? Shane got off the race tack and now he's going the wrong way!"

"Where's he going?" Richie asked.

* * *

Due to the excessive cold pills he had taken, Duncan had fallen asleep in the middle of the area and now, still asleep, was riding on the back of a pickup truck that he had somehow managed to crawl up on while asleep.

The truck hit a bumpy path and it knocked Duncan off the back and he fell…only he didn't meet with the ground.

Snorting a bit, Duncan came around and realized he was moving, but his body wasn't. Looking up he realized he was on the back of a bicycle built for two, led by…

"SHANE!"

Shane turned his head around and grinned, "hi Mister MacLeod! Are you riding with me in the race today?"

"What?" Duncan asked, "what's going on?"

"Hold on to the handlebars," Shane advised him, "we're going to make a sharp turn."

Duncan didn't know what Shane meant, but he did as he was told, they made a sharp turn to the right and Duncan found themselves in between 10 other bicyclists.

"Whoa!"

"Yeah," Shane said, "nice to know you didn't get lost back there…hold on again, we're going to pick up speed!"

Phyllis jumped up in the bleacher again and pointed, "oh look, look! Here comes Shane on his bicycle again, he's back in the race!"

"Yes, and he's picked up a passenger too," Methos noticed as he got up to get a better look.

"Oh my God!" Amanda almost laughed, "it's Duncan!"

Richie and Amber stood up to see it too, yes, Duncan was in fact, now on the back of the bicycle, riding with Shane in the race.

"I don't believe this!" Richie said, "how the hell did Mac get in the race?"

"I don't know, but Jeremy's sure going to be hearing about this," Amber replied.

Shane was pedaling so hard and so fast, Duncan thought for sure that the bike was going to throw both of them off…but it didn't. He looked ahead and saw the finish line get closer, and closer, until they'd passed it. Yes, Shane had won the race, unfortunately, he didn't stop once he got past the finish line, he crashed over where a trophy and wreath of flowers were kept.

Phyllis laughed at the sight, she Amanda, Methos, Amber, and Richie all got up and got out of the bleachers to go over and help them.

Duncan found himself crushed underneath the mangled bike, still feeling groggy from the pills and not quite all there, so he didn't exactly feel the pain of a set of handlebars smashing into his armpit, or of a bicycle seat pressing against his groin, or even the pedals sticking between his thighs. Amanda rushed over to him and she and Methos pulled the contraption off of him, and Amanda lowered herself down to him, "Duncan, are you allright?"

Duncan looked up at her and said, "I'll let you know when the sky stops spinning."

"Duncan!" they heard.

Looking over, they saw Phyllis coming over, "Duncan, wasn't that a hell of a race? And to think, now Shane has his first award."

"Where is Shane?" Methos asked.

Richie and Amber caught up with everyone, and they looked around a bit, until they found Shane. He got his head stuck in the trophy, and he was wearing the flowers around him like a racehorse.

Richie and Amber ran over to him and helped him get the trophy off of his head, it took a few good jerks, but it finally came off.

"What a ride!" he exclaimed.

"Hey Shane, how does it feel to be a champion?" Phyllis asked.

Shane looked at her vexed, "you mean I won?"

"Well if not, then someone seriously screwed up with the rules of the race," Phyllis said.

"Oh boy! I'm a…a…a what?"

"You're a champion, Shane, you won the race!" Phyllis told him.

"Oh boy!"

Some of their friends from the college came running up with cameras and started flashing pictures of Shane. Richie and Amber stepped back and let Shane enjoy his exciting, newfound popularity.

* * *

Richie finished his letter to Jeremy, telling him how "Uncle Shane's" bicycle race went, especially after "Grandpa Dummy" joined him. Amber came out of the bathroom in her robe and hovered over him, looking down at the letter.

"How's it going?" she asked.

"Finished Jeremy's letter, you wanna sign?"

"Sure…" Amber picked up a pen and signed her name at the bottom.

"Are you going to work tonight?" Richie asked.

"I have to, otherwise I'll get fired, and I haven't been working there long enough to get my first paycheck," Amber said, "why? Are you going to come down and force me to quit?"

"No."

"Good."

Amber removed her robe and got dressed; Richie didn't say anything, although he did get an urge to compliment her on her body.

"You know Richie…I know you don't like me working at a bar, but I thought you'd be happy that I could find work outside of a place like the Bloody Palace, at least at the bar I don't have to wear a costume that's a few inches short of being my underwear."

"Oh…I'm glad for that, it's just that I see a lot of stuff go on at bars…"

"Just like what happened at the last place I worked, a guy who had too many drinks tried to get a non-consenting, sober woman, to leave with him to go over to God knows where, and copulate with him…"

"Yeah…"

"Well Richie…that's kind of why I like working at bars, I can catch these guys before they hurt someone, and I hurt them…of course that gets me into trouble…but at least I do something when I see it."

"True…"

Amber thought for sure that Richie still had a problem with her job.

"Well, would it make you feel any better if I didn't go tonight?" she asked.

"Yes, but you wouldn't like that."

"Well…you want to come down to the place? I'll see to you like all the other customers."

"No thanks," Richie said, "I just feel like lounging around the house tonight."

"Really? I thought for sure now that school's out, that you'd be out with Roz every single night of the vacation."

"Roz and I will have plenty of time to see each other…I just feel like staying home tonight."

"Are you sure you're not coming down with Mac's cold?" Amber asked.

"Do I sound like it?" he asked.

"No…"

"Amber…"

"What?"

"Do you really like having this job? I mean you're out all night, you see all sorts of crap happen, you haven't told Mac or Amanda about it…I'm not even sure you could."

"Richie, I'm not even old enough to HAVE a drink, how can I tell them I'm serving them for four hours every night?" Amber asked, "they don't have to know…if they ask, I'll just tell them I'm still looking for work each night."

Richie just nodded, he didn't know what to say, there was no arguing with her…she'd made up her mind and she seemed to like the work.

Amber went over to Richie and kissed him, once on the lips, nice and slow, then once on the forehead.

"You behave yourself while I'm out," she said.

"Okay."

Amber slipped out the window and climbed down the siding and took off again. Richie laid down on the bed and a few seconds later, Methos came in, "she gone?"

"Yeah, she's gone," Richie said, "Methos."

"What?"

"Are you sure she's going to be okay?"

"I'm positive," Methos said, "she's gotten through it before, she will again."

* * *

"I still don't see why you wanted to come here," Duncan said.

"Well I hear they make some great drinks down here," Amanda said, "they recently hired someone who's notorious for them."

"Wonderful, we can have him mix up a screwdriver, a tornado and a highball, and then we'll crash on our way home," Duncan said.

"Always a pessimist," Amanda said.

The bartender came up and took Amanda's order for a tornado, and Duncan's for a simple bottle of scotch. He went into the back room to have the drinks taken care of.

"Allright, we got a couple out there, one wants a tornado and one wants scotch, can you do that?" he asked.

"Have I done anything else?" Amber asked, "are they old enough to drink?"

"If not they certainly age fast," he said, "they both look about in their 30s."

"Fine."

Amber mixed a tornado and put a dab of Blue Curacao into the scotch, put the drinks on a tray and was ready to take them out when she saw who the couple was. She almost dropped the drinks on the floor and backed up when she bumped into her boss.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"I can't go out there," she said.

"Yes you can, that's what I'm paying you for," he said.

"No, you're not listening, I CAN'T go out there," Amber said.

"Don't get cold feet now, unless you want to lose your job," he said.

"Look!" Amber said.

"You look!" he said, "I'm paying you to serve drinks and to look attractive to the men out there…that one of which looks pretty down, so you better get on it."

"No!" Amber refused.

"That does it."

The boss grabbed Amber by her arm and jerked her out there, with her resisting the entire time.

"Oh my God," Amanda said.

"What?" Duncan asked.

"Look!" Amanda pointed to the doors leading to the back room.

"If you want to keep your job, you'll do as I say," he said, "now you get out there and give them their drinks…and that guy over there doesn't look too happy to be here, so put your little knockers to some good use."

"Hey!" Duncan exclaimed as he jumped over the bar and headed to the manager.

"I'm terribly sorry sir," he said, "I have a bit of a rebellious employee here."

"Take your hands off of her!" Duncan said.

"Sir, I'm sorry, I'll get another bartender for you," he said.

"You're not getting me anything, now you take your hands off of her! This is my daughter!" Duncan said.

"Your daughter?" he repeated.

"Yes, my daughter, and she's not even…"

"Duncan, Duncan," Amanda said as she came up from behind, "don't make this a bigger mess than it already is…Amber, what are you doing down here?"

"I got a job here," she said.

"Well not anymore," Amanda said, "you're coming home with us."

Unfortunately for them, by that time, the bouncers had come in and thrown out all three of them.

"Me and Amanda I can understand," Amber said after scraping herself up off the pavement, "but those guys must be on SOME steroids to toss out a 200 pound guy like you."

Duncan pulled his face up out of the concrete, "Amber, what were you doing working there?"

"It's a long story," she said.

"Well you can explain it on the way home," Duncan said.

Amanda went over to Duncan and helped him up, after advising him to remain calm about the whole thing, they got into the car and headed for home.


	9. Chapter 9

Duncan had managed to drive home without blowing his top, but once they got in the front door, he lost it.

"I can't believe you!"

"Duncan, don't get excited over nothing."

"Nothing? She was working in a bar, you tell me that's nothing."

"This was only her second night, you tell me that's something."

"Would both of you shut up, please?" Amber asked, "Mac, it was my idea to work down there, nobody forced me…it was a job that I was good at, and I could make some money at it…I know how to take care of myself…I knew what I was doing."

Duncan was about to start yelling again, but Amanda cut him off, "Amber, why don't you go upstairs and get ready for bed? We can discuss this in the morning."

"There's nothing to discuss," she assured Amanda.

Amber went up the stairs and slammed the door to her room.

"I don't believe her," Duncan said.

"Duncan, will you calm down? There was no harm done."

"You heard what that manager was saying to her."

"Yes, and you heard her threatening to castrate him if he touched her."

"Amanda, Amber was already raped once, you would think she'd know better."

"Know better than what? There are a lot of female bartenders in the area who are fine, men aren't messing with them…even if they tried, she'd know what to do with them."

"I just want her to know that she can trust us," Duncan said.

"Trust us? Duncan, she wanted to kill you…when you told her boss that you were her father…I could tell from the way she looked at you that she just wanted to kill you. Duncan, she didn't tell us that she got that job because she didn't want you making a big deal over it."

"Well it is a big deal."

"To you…we don't know what she's had to do to get through her life, she may have done this stuff before and that's why she knows so much about it…but if you ever do that again at another place where she's working, she may take off one day and we'll never see her again…do you want that to happen?"

"You know I don't."

"Duncan…I know it seems like she's your daughter, and I know you don't want to see her get hurt, but she's not a baby…she's not a little girl, she is a few months away from being an adult…and like it or not, you're going to have to start treating her more like one…otherwise she may resent you for the rest of her life."

Amber went over to Richie's bed to wake him, and tell him what had happened, but she decided not to. Instead she went over to her own bed, took off her boots and went to sleep.

That was too easy, she knew…she couldn't sleep…she had to think. What was she going to do?

She heard the clock in the hallway strike the hour, midnight. That was it, it was now June 14th, and she would have to have a plan by morning.

What would she do? She couldn't stay here, she'd have to come up with a way to get out of the house tomorrow. She'd leave early in the morning, come back late at night, no questions asked, no one would get hurt…maybe she wouldn't even come back that night, maybe she'd stay out until the next morning.

* * *

"Here she comes, now Duncan, remember, be nice," Amanda said.

"I'm always nice," Duncan insisted.

Amber came down the back stairs and without even stopping to look at either Duncan or Amanda, headed over to the fridge.

"Good morning, Amber," Amanda said.

"Yeah."

Amanda poked at Duncan to say something.

"Amber, I'm sorry about last night," he said.

"Fine."

Amanda gestured for Duncan to continue.

"I mean it…I'm sorry we got you fired…but Amber, if your boss was treating you like what we saw last night, you shouldn't be working at a place like that."

"Yeah."

"But," Amanda added, "if you want to look for work at another bar, then it's allright with us, isn't that right, Duncan?"

Amanda glared at Duncan sharply, and he agreed with her.

"I don't really care," Amber said.

Duncan and Amanda looked at each other a bit confused.

"I'm going to be out today looking for another job, so I won't be home until late," Amber said.

"Good luck," Amanda said.

Without another word, Amber went to the back door and left.

"Now what was wrong with that conversation?" Amanda asked.

"She didn't throw anything at me?" Duncan asked.

"No…well yeah that…but she never made eye contact with us, she never even looked at us," Amanda said, "I think she must be really upset about what happened last night."

Methos came down the stairs a few minutes afterwards, "has Amber left already?"

"Just missed her," Duncan said, "she said she was going out to look for another job today…"

"Yes, we kind of got her fired from one last night…she's still a bit sore at us today," Amanda said.

"I doubt it's because of that," Methos said.

"What?" Duncan asked.

"MacLeod, what's today?" Methos asked.

"Uh…garbage day?" Duncan asked.

"No…today is June 14th, do you remember what happened on June 14th?" Methos asked.

Duncan realized what Methos was talking about, "oh…"

"What? What's today?" Amanda asked.

"Today's the anniversary of the day Mario Venvetta killed Amber's parents," Duncan said.

"Oh…"

"Yes, and it's a day that Amber dreads greatly," Methos said.

"Now I remember, last year Methos was in Bora-Bora, and Amber locked herself in the bedroom and she wouldn't let any of us see her that day…except for Richie."

"Yes, and I'm afraid he'll be doing it again tonight, when and if Amber comes home," Methos said.

"What do you think she'll do all day?" Amanda asked.

"Well if I know my goddaughter, and I like to think I do…she'll go somewhere where she doesn't think we'll try to find her…grieve in private, then she'll come back here and wish she could forget the whole day…"

"Goddaughter?" Amanda asked.

"Yes…I was friends with her parents, I knew them very well…I helped deliver Amber when she was born…and they made me her godfather…didn't I ever tell you?"

"No, you never told us anything," Amanda said.

"Oh…I thought I had," Methos said.

"Methos, aren't you worried about Amber being out there somewhere as vulnerable as she is?" Duncan asked.

"Why should I be? I trust her…she knows how to fight, even when she's upset…besides, she has been doing this since she was 12 and living with me…so I should know by now how she does this."

"Methos…"

"MacLeod, it was bad enough finding out Jennifer and Ryan had been killed, it got worse when I found out who had done it…and just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I wound up taking Amber in, who knew little about Immortals, or survival at all…"

"Well Methos, how'd you find her?" Amanda asked.

"I didn't, she found me…she ran away…she killed two Watchers who tried to kill her, and she traveled until one day she just ran into me…I recognized her instantly…they'd sent me some pictures of her shortly before they'd died…I didn't know what had happened to her, but I didn't think that she'd ever find me…especially considering she didn't even remember me."

"Why didn't she?" Amanda asked.

"The last time I'd visited her, she was too young to remember me."

"She'll be allright, won't she?" Amanda asked.

"Of course she will…although…"

"What?" Duncan asked.

"When she comes home tonight, she's only going to want two people with her…that's Richie, and myself…"

"Well if you're sure…we'll be glad to give you some privacy for the night," Amanda said.

"Yes…trust me, it would be better if you two weren't here tonight."

* * *

Amber had tried to get her mind off the day by actually looking for work. She found a few places that looked promising, they had several other people applying for the jobs, they all said the same thing, they'd call her in a few days and let her know whether or not she got the job.

It took her until 3 o' clock to go through all the jobs available she wanted to apply for; bartender, waitress, bouncer, caretaker, nanny…she'd even applied for a job at an antique shop. It was a good way to keep occupied, but she still couldn't get the day out of her mind.

She wanted to go home, but she knew she couldn't do that…not yet anyway…she'd have to wait at least until it got dark, then she'd go home. Looking around, she saw she had a lot of time left on her hands before it would get dark, so she tried to think of something to do in the meantime…she got an idea. She got on her bike, started it up, and headed up to the church she attended every Sunday. She'd gone by this path so many times, she could've done it with her eyes closed, go past the highway, make a turn at the cemetery where Shane slept, go straight ahead and it there it was.

She parked her bike and headed in, she sat in a pew near the back, she didn't want the reverend talking to her today, him or anyone else…she didn't want to hear the services or the hymns, she just wanted to be by herself and think.

She closed her eyes for a few minutes and tried to block out the people in the front rows, for a while, she seemed fine, then she felt someone touch her hand. Opening her eyes, she saw an older woman sitting by her, smiling.

"Are you allright?" she asked.

"Fine," Amber replied as she looked towards the front.

"It's just that, everyone else is sitting way up there in the front, listening to the revered, and you're sitting way back here," the lady said, "wouldn't you rather go join them?"

"No thank you…I didn't come here to pray," Amber said, "if I wanted to do that, I could've stayed at home."

"Oh…are you feeling bad about something?" the lady asked.

"What?"

"Well…did you do something wrong? Because a lot of people when they do something that they shouldn't have, they come to church."

"No I didn't," Amber replied, "I just came here to be alone."

"Oh, I understand."

If you did, Amber thought, you'd go away.

* * *

"I still feel a bit weird about going away tonight," Amanda said.

"I know, but Methos knows more about what to do than we do, and you heard him, he said it would be best if we weren't here tonight…so where should we go?"

"I don't know…wait a minute…wait a minute…wait a minute!" Amanda said.

"I'm waiting," Duncan said.

"Why don't we go back to that bar tonight, and heckle the other bartenders, and when the manager comes out, we give him a night of hell."

"It would be suiting," Duncan thought.

"If nothing else, it might make her feel better tomorrow morning when we tell her," Amanda said.

"And I'll feel a lot better knowing he got what he deserved," Duncan said, "can you believe the way he was talking to her last night? And why wouldn't you let me tell him that she wasn't even old enough to work there?"

"Because, if you had, then she would've gotten into trouble too…and he could've gotten us into trouble for letting her work there."

"Oh yeah…I hadn't thought of that…how late does that bar stay open?"

"Richie told me she worked the 10 – 2 shift down there."

"So where do we go after that?" Duncan asked.

"We could probably come back here, by then they'll probably be asleep," Amanda said.

"Yeah, maybe…"

* * *

Amber had fallen asleep in the cemetery and when she woke up, it was well past dark, she got up and jumped the gate and got on her bike and started it and headed for home. By the time she got back, the house was dark and she saw that Duncan's car was gone. She climbed up to her window and slipped in…she couldn't believe the day she'd had. She heard no one talking, although she knew two Immortals were still in the house…looking over at the clock she realized it was going on 10…too early for them to be asleep. Whatever they were doing, she didn't care, she fell face down on her bed and cried.

To hell with it, she thought, she'd tried to get through the day without doing this, but she couldn't. She could never get over it, she would never recover from what happened, it would always be like this, she knew it. Killing Mario meant she could now live without fearing him coming after her…maybe it even settled the score between them, but it didn't do anything to take away the pain from mourning her parents.

Amber paid little attention the presence of another Immortal entering the room, she didn't even look up to see who it was, she just continued crying. She didn't want to have to answer to anything about it, she didn't do anything, she didn't even say anything, when she felt him slowly rubbing her back. After a while, she realized that he wasn't just going to go away.

"Richie…stop," she said quietly.

The hands disappeared from her back, the weight on the bed shifted as he sat down beside her, and he placed one hand on her back again.

"Richie…" she said again, "why are you here?"

"I didn't think you should be alone tonight," he said, "besides, I thought you might like a little company."

"Oh swell…is the whole damn household going to come in and try to cheer me up?" she asked.

"No, Mac and Amanda went out for the night…it's just you and me…"

"And Methos…"

"Amber…it's allright…I know you miss your parents, we both do…that bastard Mario had no right to kill them…"

"But he did," Amber replied, "and here I am, five years later in the same damn position…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Richie asked, in as calm a tone as he could speak in.

Amber rolled over so she could face him.

"This isn't supposed to happen by now," Amber said, "it's been five years…shouldn't I have recovered from this by now?"

Richie sighed as he took Amber in his arms, despite her weak protests. He held her close and rubbed her back gently, "Amber…you're never going to fully recover from this…but you're getting better…"

"Yeah right," Amber sneered, "I manage to pull myself together a few more days out of the year, real progress."

"But you have to admit, it is better than it used to be," Richie said.

"Maybe…okay…I'll admit, it's better not considering going back to bed for another six months…but at the same time, it makes me feel worse that I'm forgetting them."

"Amber…you're healing…" Richie told her, "just because the pain's not as bad anymore doesn't mean you don't love them…you'll see…one of these days it'll be better."

"Yeah right," Amber mumbled under her breath as she turned over again, "and one of these days, Ed Gein's going to return from the dead and become a priest."

"What?" Richie asked.

"Nothing," Amber replied.

Richie laid down beside her so he could face her, she closed her eyes and lowered her head onto the pillow. Richie propped himself up on his elbows and kissed her temple, he expected her to hit him, or jab him in the nose…or even to tug on that little mole on the side of his face…but nothing, she didn't do anything…Richie got a better look at her and saw that she was in fact doing nothing.

"Amber, you've got to breathe," Richie told her, "even in the dark I can see you're turning purple."

Amber started breathing again, but that wasn't all she did…she also started crying again…Richie had a pretty good idea what had brought that on…it always happened when someone tried to get them to stop…if anything, it only made people cry harder, he figured. That certainly seemed to be the case with Amber…Richie laughed to himself as he held her in his arms again…maybe one of these days he'd learn not to say anything that would start her crying again.

Richie knew Amber felt awful about everything, but after a while, he thought she might feel a bit better if she were cooled down. It was burning up in the house, the air conditioner hadn't been turned on yet, and they hadn't anticipated it being this hot at night. Richie got up after guaranteeing her he'd be back, he got a bowl and filled it up with cold water, and got a rag and headed back into the bedroom. He put the bowl down on the trunk and soaked the rag in it, after wringing it out a bit, he ran it across her neck and over the backs of her arms. He had her turn over and he ran the cold rag over her face, her neck, down onto her chest and her arms.

She'd quieted down a bit, but the tears still ran down her face, which was hot again…Richie dipped the rag in the water again and washed her cheeks and her eyelids when she closed them. Leaning over her, he gently kissed her on the mouth momentarily.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

Amber closed her eyes for a second and let out a sound that Richie couldn't determine whether it was a laugh, or a grunt.

"Don't worry," he said, "soon, you'll feel a hell of a lot better than you do now."

Amber looked like she was about to go to sleep, but she didn't, she just lowered her eyelids extremely close to actually closing them.

"Amber…can I tell you something, from a former orphan to another?"

"Sure…"

"It takes time, but it does get easier…trust me, I've had over 20 years of experience in this."

Amber rolled over and back onto her stomach, she couldn't stand looking at Richie. She couldn't stand looking at that face, those eyes…those haunting eyes of his…they only haunted her like that when he was being sincere to her. She didn't like it when he was being nice to her, not like this at least, all it did was make her upset again. She remembered how it was last year, it had been pretty bad then, but Richie stayed with her through that night…this time it seemed even worse.

"I'll be back in a minute, Amber…don't go anywhere," Richie said as he got up.

He was going to take the bowl into the bathroom and pour the water down the sink, but he lost his grip on it and the cold water spilled out and splashed all over Amber. Her body arched up and she let out a sound that seemed to be both a gasp and a shriek…Richie didn't know what to do or to say…it seemed there was nothing else to do…he just started laughing as Amber looked up at him.

"Oh Amber," he pitifully laughed as he looked down at her, "I'm so sorry…" Richie slipped an arm down and around Amber's back, "oh…poor baby," he laughed.

Amber saw what little humor there was in the situation…it was either laugh or cry and she thought she'd done enough crying for one night.

"I'm really glad you're here, Richie," she said.

"I'm glad I'm here, too…" he said.

Richie leaned over to kiss her again, but she turned away and rolled over again.

"What's wrong?" Richie asked.

He nudged Amber to turn over again and face him, but she wouldn't, she was crying again.

"Amber…what's the matter?"

But she wouldn't answer him, she wouldn't even look at him. Methos quietly made his way into the room, but he barely moved from the doorway, Richie slipped off of the bed and went over to him.

"How is she doing?" Methos whispered.

"I really thought she was going to be okay, but she started crying again, and now she won't even look at me," Richie replied.

"Come on," Methos said.

Methos headed over to the bed, he put something down beside it and got up on the bed. He gently placed his hands on Amber to turn her around, and when she did, she looked away and cried harder.

Richie lightly stepped back over to the bed and sat down at the foot of it.

"Methos," she cried, "don't say it…please don't say it."

"What?" Methos asked calmly, "don't say what?"

"Don't say that it's getting better…because it's not…"

"I wasn't going to say that, Amber," he said.

"No?"

"No…I was going to ask you if you wouldn't mind have a couple of extra bedmates tonight…"

Amber tried to laugh, but it came out as a broken sob…Methos tilted his head a bit to the side and kissed Amber on the forehead and on her temple. Reaching down beside the bed, Methos picked up what he'd brought in, Richie recognized it as a bottle of Curacao. Methos handed the bottle to Amber and told her to take some, she took off the top and drank some, but immediately coughed it up and spit it out, and into Methos' face.

"I'm sorry…" she gasped.

Methos wiped the alcohol off of his face with the back of his hand, "it's allright, it's my own fault…it's a bit too bitter for your taste."

Richie took the bottle from Amber and put the lid back on again and he slipped it under the bed.

"Methos…" Amber said over her cries.

"Yes?"

"…tell me about my parents…how you knew them…where you met them…"

"Allright," Methos said, happy to oblige, "let's see…I met your mother long before she and your father even got married…let's see…it must have been 1978…and I met your mother one night at a bar…"

"I…I never knew my mother drank," Amber said.

"She didn't too much…in fact she wasn't even at the bar to drink…"

"Huh?"

"Let me explain," Methos lightly laughed, "your mother was a real rebel when she was younger…she was always doing something that should've gotten her killed…more than anything, she wanted to be part of the Hells Angels…but she never had a chance to see about getting in…anyway, one night her bike broke down and she passed through this place looking for a phone to call for help…she passed by a bar where I had gotten into a fight with a drunk twice my size…someone else had gotten in the way and he threw the man out through the window…that's where she came in…

"She got me away from the man, and she punched him in the groin, punched him in the stomach, and she delivered an uppercut to his jaw and knocked him back against a jukebox…she took me by the wrist and we got the hell out of there…we got acquainted, we found out a bit more about each other than we were comfortable with…she got her bike fixed and she left and we thought that would be the end of that…oh no…"

"You're making this up," Amber said.

"Like hell…your mother could take on any man in the town and make them a woman," Methos told her, "in fact, after we left, the first thing I thought about her was I would HAVE to tell your father about her…"

"You knew my father before you knew my mother?"

"Yes, we were classmates in college…I went back to town, I told him all about her, and he said he just had to meet this woman…"

"So what happened?" Amber asked.

"The next night, we went back to town, and there was a big motorcycle rally over at the racetracks, so we figured she'd be down there, either to watch or compete, and we went down there, and she was there…I went over and I told her I had a friend I wanted her to meet and she said allright…so I introduced the two…it was almost an instant connection between the two…well I mean…after Ryan recovered from Jennifer punching him in the groin."

Amber shrieked in a way that resembled a laugh, as was Richie.

"Well anyway…this was all in Stayton, Oregon a long time ago, before anything happened, long before either of them would've considered marriage…but at the rally, they find out that have a lot in common, so they plan to meet again to talk…and your father, Ryan suggested that they get together the next night, but Jennifer said she couldn't come…she said she had to stay home that night…so they make an arrangement to meet a few days later. They finally agreed on a night, but your mother said it would have to be after midnight when she was available…and both of them asked for me to be there, incase anything should happen, I could be a witness for both of them…so we met and your parents talked and talked and talked, I thought for a while all our ears were going to fall off…

"Anyway…this continued for a few months, and your parents decided they should get married."

"And they did…"

"Yes, but not right away," Methos said, "there was a horrible problem with their plan…they couldn't get married because your mother wasn't 18."

"How old was she?" Richie asked.

"Well Richie…they couldn't get married because Ryan was nearly 21 at the time, and Jennifer was only 14."

"I don't get it," Amber said, "I thought they didn't care how old you were back then…"

"Ordinarily they didn't…but this is Stayton, Oregon we're talking about…and you know how usually the legal age for someone to have sex is right up there with how old you have to be to get married? Well…in Stayton, their law says if you're dating someone under 18, you have to be at the very most EXACTLY 3 years older than they are…which of course was past the age difference between your parents…so we couldn't think of what to do…your mother lived there…your father lived not too far away…if word got out about them dating, there would be a horrible scandal in both towns, their families would be ridiculed and scrutinized, and as much as they knew they should be together, they couldn't face putting their families through all that…

"So we broke a few laws, we went over to Mexico one weekend, just to be safe, we made your mother a bit older and your father a little younger…that's why you always knew them as only being 2 years apart," Methos explained, "their families didn't know…they came back, they sneaked around after dark for a couple more years…your grandmother found out your mother was seeing your father, and she didn't like it. Finally, your mother got fed up and told her they'd already been married for two years…I swear we all thought your grandmother was going to have a heart attack or a stroke, something…and pass away right then and there…"

"Her parents cried rape and sexual abuse, and your parents left town before anything could be done…they moved to Pennsylvania where nobody knew them…they started a new life without their parents…other members of the families supported them, they came around to visit now and again…and a few years later, you were conceived, and we were all very happy."

"I find that hard to believe," Amber said, "happy over me…"

"Well believe it…" Methos laughed, "when we first found out she was pregnant, we were all so happy that we were crying…you see, your mother loved taking the risks that she did, and she loved being inches away from death, it made her feel more alive than anything…but more than anything, she also had this uncontrollable motherly side to her…picture if you will, a tame Norma Bates."

"I don't get it," Amber said.

"Neither do I," Richie said.

"Well…I met Jennifer when she was 14, and ever since that time, she was as much a second mother to your father and myself, as anything she ever was to us. Before she fell in love with your father, she told him one night, that he was to think of her as a second mother to him…no matter what he ever did…or how much trouble he ever got into…she always loved him…it didn't even matter about the age difference, so many times it seemed she was his mother…of course it wasn't always that easy…I remember one time where your father got into trouble and he didn't tell her about it for two weeks, when he finally told her, she slapped him and threw him against the wall and yelled at him for two straight hours…she knew to make him afraid of her…that way, he knew never to get himself into a problem that he could avoid…otherwise he knew he'd have to answer to her…

"Part of being a mother, I suppose…of course she never did that with you…I don't know what she did, but you always seemed to behave whenever I came over to visit…oh I remember you…you were always an adorable baby…"

"Do you remember when I was born?" Amber asked.

"Remember? Your parents may have brought you into the world, but I helped bring you out of your mother…of course I remember…you were a few weeks early and we were worried something may have been wrong…there wasn't a doctor available, so I had to be the doctor…there wasn't too much trouble in getting you out…and when we did…for a few minutes none of us knew what to say…but then we were all crying…your mother was crying because she was so happy to finally see you…your father was crying because he was worried you and your mother wouldn't make it…I was crying because I knew what you would become someday."

Amber lowered her head and didn't say anything, but both men knew that she was crying again.

"Now what's wrong?" Methos gently asked.

"If…if my parents were alive today, what do you think they'd do?" Amber asked.

"Oh I think they'd continue living as they had…"

"Do you think they'd still want me?" Amber asked.

"Now what's that supposed to…oh…you think they'd disown you like Duncan's family did to him when he returned from the dead?"

"Maybe…"

"Amber…I knew your parents for most of their lives, you think they never noticed that I wasn't aging? They didn't know about Immortals, but they knew that I wasn't like them…and I told them that there were others like me…and I also told them that there was a chance that you'd grow up to be like us…"

"And what did they say?" Amber asked.

"They said they always hoped their daughter would outlive them…when they heard that, they said they were certain you would, then…Amber…your parents wouldn't have cared if you never aged past 16…they would've loved you regardless…"

"Kind of hard to imagine that, though…I mean, not a lot of fathers would want a daughter who would always remain a teenager…meaning he'd have to be threatening teenaged boys for the rest of his life."

"True, but I knew your father and I knew that he was different, and if it meant holding a shotgun to boys' heads for the rest of his days, he would've…"

Amber turned her head back a bit to see Methos, he could see the insecurity in her eyes.

"Amber, believe me…your parents wouldn't have treated you differently if they were alive today…they would still love you, just as they always have…"

"Amber," Richie said, "I know no one can ever replace your parents, and believe me, we wouldn't want to…but you don't have to go through this alone…you're not alone, you've got us with you."

"That's right," Methos said, "we're all one big unconventional, psychotic, dysfunctional family, and I honestly don't think your parents would have wanted it to be any other way…I think they'd want us to be with you, because they know that we can take care of you in a way that they can't right now…I know you miss them, and you always will…but believe me, kid, it's not always going to be this bad…"

"I wish I could believe that," Amber said.

"One of these days you will…until then, there's not much else to do except just get the grieve off your chest…" Methos sat up and held Amber close to Richie, "I'm going to leave you two alone for a minute, behave yourselves."

Richie took Amber in his arms and gently rubbed her back as she cried silently. Methos got up off the bed and went downstairs momentarily.

"Richie?" Amber asked.

"Yeah?"

"Was it ever this bad with you?"

"You mean about Emily?"

"Yeah…"

"Yeah, for a while…I mean…I know she was just my aunt, but she was the only real mother I ever knew…God, I miss that woman…it really used to be painful to remember, but trust me, within time, things will be better."

"I sure hope so," Amber said, "I hate that I'm always doing this…"

"It's not your fault, you miss them, it would be unnatural if you didn't have some kind of reaction."

Richie kissed Amber in between her eyes and held her close. Methos came back into the room with another bottle in his hand. Richie thought for a minute they were going to have a repeat performance. With his free hand, Methos grabbed Amber by the shoulder and Richie helped him lay her down, her head was propped up on the pillows. Methos handed Amber the bottle and said, "thought you might want something sweeter to get you through the night."

Richie looked and saw it was a bottle of cherry vodka, Amber took the bottle, took off the lid and started drinking. Richie almost laughed, she looked much younger now, it was almost like watching a baby drinking her bottle. He leaned over and gently stroked the top of her head, it seemed to relax her…within a few seconds, she'd finished the bottle and seemed to be asleep. Methos took the bottle away and put it on the table, he went back to the bed and checked on her again.

"She seems to be out cold this time," Richie whispered.

"Good…sometimes it takes a little numbing to get through the pain," Methos said, "we might as well go to bed now…I don't think she'll be waking up again soon."

They took off their shoes and crawled into the bed, Methos laying on one side of Amber, and Richie on the other.

"Methos…"

"What?"

"Do you really think she'll be allright?"

"As long as she's got us, I think she will…"

* * *

Richie felt like he'd barely even been to sleep, when he felt something…it felt like a cat pawing at his arm, but they didn't have a cat…the closest thing they had, was Methos. Richie opened his eyes and saw Amber trying to grab his wrists.

Oh man, she's drunk out of her mind, he thought as he sat up, "what is it, Amber?"

"Hi Richie," she said.

"Hello…Amber, are you allright?"

Amber smiled and made an incoherent noise that Richie took was a yes. Amber got up on her knees and leaned into Richie and tried to kiss him, but he held her still and moved back.

"What's the matter, Richie? Don't you want to?" she asked.

"Any other time, I would love to," he said, "just not now."

"Why not?" Amber asked.

"Amber…" Richie tried to think of a way to say it, without her getting upset, "Amber…you're not quite yourself right now…it's been a hard night."

"I know," she said, "I want to apologize for the trouble I put you through tonight."

"Amber…you don't have to apologize…now there have been plenty of times where I was upset and you were here to comfort me…it's the least I can do to repay the favor."

"Richie…"

"What?" Richie asked.

Amber didn't give Richie a chance to back up, she moved right against him and kissed him. Richie tried to pull away, but found he couldn't…some seconds later, he needed to breathe and he imagined she did too…he pushed her back a bit and gasped for air.

"Did you like it, Richie?" she asked.

"Amber…Amber…I want to talk to you…"

"About what?"

"Amber…do you feel as if you owe me this?" Richie asked.

"No Richie…I just wanted to do it, because I love you."

Richie was stunned, "well I love you too, Amber…"

"Good…Richie…I want to ask you something."

"What is it?" Richie asked.


	10. Chapter 10

"How do you think they're doing?" Amanda asked.

"I don't know…you think we should call home?" Duncan asked.

"Na, it's after midnight, they may already be asleep," Amanda said.

"I wish there was something we could do for Amber…"

"Me too…"

"Well…I think I might know something that she'll like…Connor's suppose to come by tomorrow for a surprise visit…"

"Does she know about it?"

"No."

"Then I'm sure she'll be surprised," Amanda said, "I just hope we don't go into World War III…you know how happy they were to have him leave the last time…"

"Yeah, but that was months ago, I'm sure by now, everything's blown over between them," Duncan said.

"I hope so," Amanda said, "if it is all in the past, then good…it's nice when we all get together…kind of like one big family…don't you agree?"

"Sure…one big, psychotic, dysfunctional, unwed, white trash family…" Duncan said, "that sounds about right."

"That's us allright," Amanda said, "and I don't think it could get any better in the family than it already is."

* * *

"You're serious?" Richie asked.

Amber grinned and nodded.

"You can't be serious," Richie nervously laughed.

"Why not?" Amber asked, "it's something we both want, the timing's right…and we don't have to worry because I'm not going to get pregnant."

"Yeah, but marriage…Amber…when I asked you to marry me, I was hoping we could make it something a bit fancy."

"We can't have it fancy," Amber said, "Mac and Amanda will find out, they'll never agree to let us get married, they'll say I'm too young, you're too old for me, we're both not ready for this, it will never work…it's the perfect time, Richie, we just have to get married."

"Yeah but Amber…" Richie said, "isn't it going to bother you that we won't be able to tell anyone, and we won't be able to do anything special for the wedding?"

"Richie, if the two of us are getting married, that's special enough for me," Amber said, "come on, it will work out great, we can have Methos marry us just like he did Mac and Amanda, and we won't have to tell them…"

"But Amber…"

"But what?" Amber asked, "…you wanted to get married in the first place, remember?"

"Of course I do…and I still do, it's just…"

Amber stared at Richie with a look that told him she wasn't sure what to expect from him.

"Look Amber…I don't know if you remember, but before you went to bed, you drank a whole bottle of cherry vodka…now…tomorrow, don't drink anything alcoholic, and if when you're sober and you've had time to think this over, you still want to get married, then we'll decide what to do, allright?"

"Allright, Richie," Amber kissed Richie on the forehead and tugged at the mole on the side of his face, "goodnight."

Amber laid back down beside Methos, who hadn't moved an inch during their conversation. Richie laid back down on the other end of the bed, and brought the sheet up on all of them.

* * *

Duncan and Amanda had just gotten home, it was still dark out, so they figured everyone was still asleep. Duncan crept upstairs and slowly made his way into Richie's bedroom and found the three of them in Amber's bed. Methos was on the left side with his arm wrapped around Amber's back, Amber who was in the middle was in a crooked position between the two men, and Richie was on the right side with his arm wrapped around her waist. Had it not been for the situation they'd been in the night before, they would've looked cute like they were.

Duncan quietly slipped out of the room before they woke up and headed down the stairs and went back to the living room where Amanda was.

"Are they allright?" she asked.

"I think so, they're all still alive…there's no blood…they're still asleep."

"Well that's good…I wonder what kind of a night they had," Amanda said.

"I'm not too sure we want to know," Duncan replied.

"What time is Connor supposed to come?"

"Around noon," Duncan said.

* * *

Richie awoke and found he and Amber were the only ones in the bed, Amber was still asleep, for that he was thankful. He heard the sink running in Methos' bathroom, so he slipped out of bed, and went over to see Methos. He caught him shaving at an inopportune time, the blades sliced into his hand and cut it…within a few seconds it was healed.

"Did you want something?" Methos asked.

"Well…I was wondering what you were doing up so early…"

"Part of the plan," Methos said, "in a while, after Amber's woke up, you two get cleaned up and make yourselves presentable, we're going out today."

"Out where?"

"I don't know…on that we can decide later…it's how we do things…on June 14th, Amber has her time to stay in bed and grieve and mourn…June 15th I get her out of bed and take her out on the town for the day…usually perks her up a bit…it's usually enough to keep her out of bed…and today, you're coming with us."

"Methos…"

"Huh?"

"Do you usually give Amber alcohol when she's like this?" Richie asked.

"Sometimes…usually…why? Did you suddenly become a teetotaler?"

"No…I was just wondering…"

"Well Richie…all I can say is we're fortunate we don't suffer the consequences of drinking alcohol…look…what Amber went through was just as painful for her five years ago as it is for her now…when she was staying with me, she was so upset she went to bed for six months…during that time I was at a loss what to do…so…as a last resort, I gave her a drink…it got her a bit gitty and I was able to get her out of the bedroom and onto my couch so we could talk…finally she started returning to the land of the living, you might say…but before then, she stayed in bed all day and every time I tried to get her to come out of the bedroom, she wouldn't move…"

"So it's basically just to help numb her when she goes through this?" Richie asked.

"Bright boy…now why don't you go back on to bed? We won't be going anywhere for at least three more hours."

Richie nodded as he turned around and headed back to his room, he quietly slipped back into bed, this time on the left side of Amber. She turned over and moaned in her sleep.

"Richie?"

"It's allright, Amber…it's only me…go back to bed," he said quietly.

Methos waited until he was sure Richie was asleep again, then he went into his bedroom and picked up the telephone, and dialed a few numbers.

"Phyllis, how would you like to be invited to a wedding you'll never forget?" he asked.

* * *

Phyllis had been entertaining her old friend, Joe Dawson, over at her house when she received a call from Methos.

"What?" she asked, "he did what? …Methos, my dear gizzard guts, are you sure you heard right? …oh he did? She did? And did he? I don't believe it…does he know? …he doesn't? Well good, the less he knows about this, the better it will be for all of us…yeah, I will…what time? Tonight? That would be…wait a minute…you can't do it there…well, if Duncan finds out about this, he'll kill them…I know, I happen to own a place over on 32nd Street, it's a big old empty place, I recently had it cleaned…oh for the services it could hold two, three hundred people…yes we can…we will? Good…and Methos…do you mind if I bring a friend? Okay…what time? Okay…goodbye."

Phyllis hung up, "how do you like that?"

"What? What is it?" Joe asked, "what's Methos done now? What's wrong?"

"It's not Methos…that boy Richie Ryan and his friend Amber Jenzon, are going to get married tonight."

"What!" Joe asked, "are you sure?"

"Positive, he heard them talking about it last night…they didn't know he was listening, otherwise they might not have said anything…he said they're going to make it a private little ceremony where Duncan and Amanda won't know about it…do you have any idea what Duncan would do to Richie if he found out?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I do," Joe said, "what're you going to do?"

"I told Methos they could use a house I own over on 32nd Street for the ceremony…that way we can make it a bit fancy over there…he said they're going to get married after the sun goes down tonight…so we better get ready."

"We?" Joe asked.

"Of course, when I said I was bringing a friend, I meant you," Phyllis said.

"Oh boy, this is going to be a hell of a reception," Joe said.

* * *

It was starting to get light out, Richie and Amber decided they couldn't stay in bed anymore to sleep, so they went into the bathroom to clean up, and they wound up sharing the tub.

"So how are you feeling today?" Richie asked.

"A hell of a lot better."

"See? I told ya you would."

"Yeah…Richie…do you remember what I said last night?"

"Yes, do you remember what I said last night?" Richie asked.

"Yes…"

"Good…"

"But Richie…"

"Yeah?"

"I still love you, even if you don't think we should get married…"

"Hey…I love you too…I just want to make sure that if we do get married, we do it because you want to…not because you think we have to, or because you think you owe me anything…"

"Sure…so…any idea where Methos is going to be taking us today?" Amber asked.

"He wouldn't say," Richie replied, "although between you and me, it sounds like he's got something up his sleeve."

"He usually does," Amber replied, "which is also why we get in trouble a lot…I remember one year he took me to see this fight…and it was great, there was a lot of action, a lot of bloodshed, thousands of people jumping up and down and screaming at them…"

"What happened?"

"Well…they picked two people out of the audience to take on one team, and it was us…we got lucky since they didn't have any rules against kicking below the belt…and…I introduced one of them to the folding chair…but then they got the drop on us…literally…they threw us out of the ring and still came after us…so we got up and we had them chasing us all throughout the seats, and ladies were hitting them with their purses, and kids were spitting up on them…it was great…by the time we led them back into the ring, they were exhausted…of course we got banned from the place…"

Richie laughed, "sounds like Methos really knows what to do with you."

"Yeah…he tries…you know how he said he used to visit when I was too young to remember him? I've been thinking about that…I remember…I didn't know him, but I remembered…he came by a few times when I was young…he talked to my parents for a few hours…he'd spend a little while with me…but, it wasn't always easy…one of the first times I remember him coming by…I was real shy back then, and every time he tried to get me to say hello, I just looked the other way, until finally I turned around and I bit him."

Richie laughed, "what'd you do that for?"

"I didn't know what else to do…he fell to the floor and I tried to hit him with a big plastic hammer my father gave me…I didn't know why, but every time he came around, he still came over to see me while he visited…"

Richie laughed, "he was your godfather, he was going to visit whether you wanted him to or not."

"I know that now…I still can't believe, all these years he never told me that…even after he told me he knew my parents, I still didn't know…"

"Well, just be glad that he told you at all," Richie said.

"I am…I am…it's just that I've known him for so long…and up until late last year he never told me any of this…"

"That's part of what makes Methos the pain in the ass that he is…you think when we first met, he told me he was Methos?"

"He didn't tell me that either, I just figured it out," Amber said.

"Really?" Richie asked.

"Yeah…when he knew that I'd found out, I thought he was going to have a heart attack…by that time, I figured he'd have me leave…or kill me…but he didn't…he just told me that no one else could know who he really was…"

There was a silence between them for a moment, Richie soon realized that the cause for the silence was that Amber was falling asleep, and slowly sinking in the tub. Richie grabbed her and lined her back against the tub, this was not the first time since they got in that it had happened.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Amber…did you sleep last night?" Richie asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"You're falling asleep in the tub…that's why…"

"Oh…"

There was a knock at the bathroom door, "Richie, is everything allright in there?"

"Yeah…Methos, you better come in here and take Amber back to the bedroom…"

Methos opened the door and slowly made his way in , "why? What's the matter?"

"She keeps falling asleep in here, I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself," Richie said.

Methos approached the tub, "well let me see…" Methos put his hands on Amber's wrists and looked her over, briefly. "Well…you look clean enough to get out…come on…"

Methos helped Amber up and out of the tub and made sure she didn't slip, he wrapped her in a towel and picked her up, carrying her out of the room, she seemed too tired to even notice.

* * *

Once back in the bedroom, Methos put Amber down on Richie's bed and started drying her with the towel, "feeling better?"

"Methos…you may have Richie fooled, but you don't fool me…you heard our conversation last night, didn't you?" she asked.

"Yes…"

"And you know about the wedding?"

"Yes…and I also know that you're going to give him the same answer tonight," he said.

"Oh Methos…I feel sick…"

"Why? Are you nervous?" he asked.

"No, I'm that excited…I felt awful when I turned Richie down last fall, but at the time I didn't think any good could come out of marriage…but now…"

"I know…I know…many of my marriages were all rushed into…most of them worked out."

"Methos…when we do have the wedding…will you marry us?"

"Who else would?" Methos asked.

"Thanks Methos…"

"Why not? I was there for your birth, I might as well be there for your wedding…now come on…get dressed…we'll be leaving soon…"

* * *

"Duncan," Amanda said.

"What?"

"I heard them talking about leaving, are you sure you don't want to tell them Connor's coming?"

"What? And ruin the surprise?" Duncan asked.

"Well we don't know how long they'll be gone," Amanda said.

"Well that's just fine, Connor hasn't told me how soon he'll be leaving…so it evens out."

"I don't know," Amanda said as she looked towards the stairs, "here they come."

They watched as they came down the stairs, Methos and Richie were dressed like twins, Methos had on a white T-shirt that was a bit big on him, and tight blue jeans and black boots, Richie wore a white T-shirt that was a bit tight on him and tight blue jeans and black boots, and Amber wore a black muscle shirt and torn blue jeans and red boots.

"Whoa!" Duncan said in exaggerated surprise, "well where're you going? To a wedding?"

"No, to the circus," Richie replied in a regretful tone.

Duncan guffawed, "to watch or to participate?"

"We're not sure yet," Amber said.

"Have a good time," Amanda said.

"We plan to," Methos replied.

Methos went to the front door and he and Amber stepped out, Methos took a step back into the house, "come along, Richie…"

"Ah man," Richie whined as he followed.

"Oh boy," Amanda said as they left, "a day at the circus…this should be interesting…remember the last time we went to the circus?"

"Amanda…"

"Hmmm?"

"We were IN the circus," Duncan said, "trying to catch Cory…"

"Yeah, you were…I was in the audience with Joe, enjoying the show, it was interesting watching you guys run around, Methos as the ringleader, you and Richie as the strongmen, Richie tried to cut Cory up for part of an act."

"Too bad he didn't…"

* * *

"How long have you known these guys?" Amber asked.

"Oh not too long, a couple hundred years…" Methos replied.

They were discussing the five clowns out in the center ring at the moment, one of which was trying to pack a suitcase, but another ran off with his clothes. Meantime, there was another one attempting to balance himself on a large ball with a bucket of water on his head. Another one was hanging up laundry on a clothesline and when the other one tried to stop him, he got hung up as well.

"Fine thing," Richie said, "nothing worse than a bunch of clowns trying to make you laugh."

"Oh Richie where's your sense of humor?" Amber asked.

"I left it in my other pants," Richie replied.

"Don't pay any attention to him, Amber…he doesn't know how to have a good time," Methos said.

"Sure he does, just not out of the bedroom," Amber said.

They both howled at the joke, meanwhile Richie tried to think of anything other than his current location.

"So who's who here?" Amber asked.

"Well…Mike's the one throwing Jack's underwear out the window…and that's Evan on the ball…and that's Slan who just hung Quintin out to dry," Methos explained.

However, all acts stopped suddenly and unexpectedly, when a couple of mimes came into the ring.

"Now who're these two bozos?" Amber asked.

"Let's see…I almost want to say that's Sid and Jackie, but I can't be sure…see…Sid often forgets to be quiet, and Jackie…I have not known him to drop his act for anything."

"Oh yeah?" Amber asked as they watched the performances.

Evan had gotten the bucket of water stuck on his head during the fall off his ball, he finally jerked it off and ran into a steamer trunk, and he came back out wearing a gun holster and a sheriff's badge, it looked as if he and Sid were going to have a showdown.

"Well now ain't this going to be a hell of a show?" Richie asked.

It seemed that Evan and Sid were going to duke it out, one on one, but behind Evan, Jackie was preparing an invisible lasso to catch him with. Just as he was about to throw it, Amber stood up, "Hey Sid!" he turned to face her, "What's an airplane do?"

"Fly?" he asked.

"Jackie's is open!" Amber called.

Jackie forgot his lasso and looked down and Evan tackled him and then he got Sid as well. He hauled them over to a cage and locked them in with Count Tessa, the mother lion. The audience cheered and applauded and screamed for the astonishing performance.

"Looks like you know what'll get Jackie now," Richie said.

Amber sat back down beside Methos, "and how long have you known these jokers?"

"Oh not so long…about 20 years…"

"Maybe that's why they can't get it right," Richie said.

"Could be…"

They watched as some different performers came into the ring. They looked like a couple of magicians, they set a big box down on a table, one man stepped back and took out a wand and tapped it against the box a few times. He pointed it at the box as if he expected it to do something, but it did nothing. While he tried to figure out what was wrong, the other man took a vase of flowers from beside the box and put them on another table. No sooner had he set them down, the flowers exploded into fireworks.

The other magician, fed up with his failure of an act, slammed his fist on the table beside the box, and the top flung open, and large snakes flew out and into the audience. A lot of people started screaming and jumping out of their seats, Methos, Richie and Amber wound up with a few wrapped around them. They took them off and threw them back into the ring, but in the process, they fell out of their seats and rolled down into the ring along with them.

Suddenly, the two magicians and their tables disappeared, and out came several clowns all in large colorful costumes, and freakishly weird makeup and wigs. They did flips and cartwheels all around them…then they all got together and started forming a pyramid. Richie decided this time it was his turn to have some fun, so he walked over to one particularly large clown in the middle of the bottom row of the pyramid.

"Hey fella, your fly's open," he said.

The clown stood up and knocked down the two rows of clowns above them, they all tumbled to the ground like bowling pins.

* * *

"So when should we be expecting them back?" Connor asked.

"I'm not sure, they said they were going to the circus…that was a few hours ago," Amanda said.

"The circus?" Connor repeated, "oh boy…Duncan told me about what happened last time you guys even got near a place like that…from the way he described it, it was not a good day."

"Yeah, I still have nightmares of it," Duncan said.

"So Connor, how long do you plan on staying in town?" Amanda asked.

"Oh…only a few days…then I have to leave…"

"Is everything allright? We haven't heard from you in quite a while," Amanda said.

"Well I figured you'd see it as good reason that I didn't come around too much…"

"Oh Connor, you know you're welcome here, anytime," Amanda said.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course…"

"So what else is new around here?"

"Well, for one thing, Methos is dating a former Watcher…now she left in 1995, but she knows about all of us, she knows Methos is an Immortal posing as a Watcher, and she knows he's Methos," Duncan said.

"What?" Connor asked, "that's insane!"

"That may be, but it's true," Duncan replied, "we were surprised to hear about it ourselves…"

"Exactly how old is this woman?" Connor asked.

"She is in her early sixties, and she left the Watchers in 1995 because she fell in love with an Immortal, but he was killed shortly afterwards," Amanda explained, "she and Methos have being seeing each other since January…any other questions?"

* * *

"Oh boy, what a day," Amber said, "that was fun at the circus…I mean…once they got the snakes put away…"

"Yeah…" Methos replied, "I have to admit, it was a hell of a bloody good time on that trampoline…and then when we got on the trapezes…that was pretty good too…"

"Although I for one was glad to get back down to the ground," Richie said.

"You're not fun," Amber said.

"Yeah, I have to agree with her…you're really starting to turn into MacLeod, you know that?" Methos asked.

"Shut up."

"Hey," Methos said, "we've got company."

"I wonder who it is," Amber thought.

Richie went around to the back of the car and looked at the license plate, "it's allright, Connor's here."

"Well I suppose that's good," Amber said, "but I wonder why Mac didn't tell us he was coming?"

"Perhaps he didn't know himself," Methos said, "maybe Connor just dropped in on him."

Amanda had been watching them from the window and saw them come up the sidewalk, "here they come."

The front door opened and they came directly into the living room.

"Hey Mac, I," Richie stopped and pointed to Connor, "hey, it's Connor…"

"Hey," Connor repeated as he pointed at Richie and Methos, "twins."

"So what're you doing here?" Amber asked, "usually when you come around, we know ahead of time."

"You mean Duncan didn't tell you?" Connor asked.

"Tell us what?" Richie asked.

"My place burnt down in New York, so I'm moving in with you guys here," Connor said.

Amber and Richie looked at each other, either in shock, or in horror.

"Kidding, I'm kidding," Connor chuckled, "what's the matter with you kids? You have no sense of humor…you're getting to be just like Duncan."

"Hey!" Duncan took offense.

"See? I told you he had no sense of humor," Connor told them.

"So what? You're just visiting?" Richie asked.

"Yes, I'll only be in town a few days," Connor said, "so…how was the circus?"

"It was a nightmare," Richie said.

"He's just saying that because he got put in the cage with the lions," Methos said.

"And because he got put on an elephant who was on roller skates," Amber said.

"Not to mention that he was kidnapped by three clowns and he came back looking like a woman," Methos said.

"And also, he was put up on the high wire, and pushed off, into a pool of pistachio pudding," Amber added.

"Yes, but not to worry, they washed him off."

"With seltzer water!" Richie replied.

"And every time he tried to say anything, this big clown knocked him down…"

"And they put him in a cannon, and it shot him right into the audience," Methos added.

"But he didn't stay there for long," Amber said, "a bear got into the audience and chased him back into the ring."

"A bear?" Duncan asked.

"Yes, with a green tie and a derby," Amber added.

"And then," Methos said, "these two idiotic magicians came out and tried to put him in a box and stick blades in it."

"Did they?" Amanda asked.

"No…they only got him into the box, then after putting in the blades, they found out he was gone…while their backs were turned, he got up behind them and shoved them into the next act…"

"Which was?"

"There were two bears in tutus, balancing themselves on big balls, and there were two poodles jumping rope, and two clowns who were swinging the rope," Amber explained.

"Well," Connor said, "sounds like the circus was eventful."

"Well that wasn't all," Methos said.

"No, that's just what happened to Richie," Amber said.

"Oh boy," Connor said, "no wonder you were gone so long."

"Oh yes," Methos said, "perhaps the next time we go, we'll bring you along with us."

"Yeah, and you can get used as a human cannonball, get thrown into the lions' cage, and almost get set on fire."

"That's Richie for you," Amanda said, "fun, fun, fun…"

* * *

"Richie, I have something to tell you," Amber said.

"What is it?"

"I have not had anything to drink today that has alcohol in it, and I'm going to tell you this now because I'm not going to change my mind by tonight…I want to marry you."

Richie just looked away and didn't say anything.

"What's wrong, Richie?" Amber asked.

"Nothing…nothing…I'm happy, I ecstatic…let's get married!"

"Yes, let's get married…tonight!" Amber said.

"Tonight?"

"Yes, it's perfect, Methos is right here so he can marry us."

"Yeah, but Mac's here, we can't…"

"We'll go out somewhere where they won't be…he can get us married by tonight, I heard him talking about it earlier."

"Well how would he…that bastard, that son of a bitch, he DID hear us last night."

"Richie…he wants to do it, he's right here, so I don't know what the problem is," Amber said.

"Allright, but if we're going to do this, we're going to do it right…"

Richie turned around and opened the top drawer in his dresser.

"What're you doing?" Amber asked.

"I'm looking for the ring."


	11. Chapter 11

"Methos, I forgot to tell you, Phyllis called earlier, she says she's coming over," Amanda said.

"Oh good," Methos said, "uh…did you tell Connor about her?"

"Yes…why?"

"No reason."

"I'll admit, at first he wasn't too sure what to think about her knowing everything about you, and us," Duncan said, "but I think if he gets to meet her, he'll come around to liking her."

"Why should he?" Amanda asked, "you've known her as long as Methos has and you don't."

"That's not true, I'm just not as fond of her as the rest of you," Duncan replied.

"Sure, Duncan…Methos, would you be joining us for dinner tonight?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Come on Methos, you don't have to worry about food poisoning, I'm cooking," Duncan said.

"How assuring, but that's not the reason…Phyllis and I are going out tonight…"

"Oh that's great, where're you going?" Amanda asked.

"I don't know, and I don't care just so long as we get away from you pains in the arse and your cooking," Methos said.

"What about Phyllis? Surely she has to be a bit more picky than that."

"I'll ask her when she comes," Methos said, "in the meantime, I'm going to get the living room picked up before she comes."

"What?" Duncan asked.

"Sure…nothing too fancy, put away all the poker cards and chips, find the golf shoes a home away from the center of the couch cushions, that sort of malarkey."

Methos left the kitchen and headed back into the living room, Amber and Richie came down the back stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hey, you guys wanna stick around for dinner?" Amanda asked, "I'm not cooking tonight."

"Thanks Amanda, but we can't," Richie said.

"We have a prior engagement," Amber added.

"With whom?" Duncan asked.

"Well…Jason is going to ask Joanne to marry him, and he wants all of us there tonight to see what happens," Richie explained.

"Yeah, if she says yes, he wants us there to congratulate him, if she says no, he wants us there to carry him home," Amber said.

"And we're leaving early before we miss something," Richie said, "bye, Mac."

Richie and Amber went out the back door, when they left, they noticed that Phyllis was arriving at the front door. She rang the bell and Connor answered.

"Excuse me sir," she started.

"I've already been saved," Connor replied as he started to shut the door.

Phyllis stopped the door with her hand and opened it again and went in, "are you Connor MacLeod? Or would you be going under Russell Nash here?"

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Phyllis Daltrey, and I'm here to see Methos…is he in?"

"Yes he is," Methos said as he came to the front door.

"Oh Methos…let me get a good look at you," Phyllis came in and circled Methos a couple of times, "well I'll be…my little mothball, you're looking better all the time…do tell me something…is Connor going to be at the wedding tonight?"

"What wedding?" Connor asked.

"You mean you didn't hear?" Phyllis asked.

"No."

"Oh…are Duncan and his bimbo nearby?" Phyllis asked.

"They're in the kitchen…"

"Well then, I guess somebody better bring you up to speed on the situation," Phyllis said.

* * *

Richie and Amber got out of his car and looked at the place, it was a large white house, three stories, not counting the attic, a wrap-around porch, and balcony on the second floor. There were dim lights on inside of the house, but it seemed to be vacant.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Richie asked.

"It's the address Methos gave me," Amber said, "it has to be it."

"When's he supposed to come?" Richie asked.

Amber looked at her watch, "he's still got a few minutes…come on, let's go in and wait for him."

"You sure the place isn't locked up?" Richie asked.

"Why would he lock it up? We're getting married here."

"Feels kinda weird, don't it?" Richie asked.

"It sure 'do," Amber replied.

As they got up the porch and were about to go in, they heard something from behind. Turning around, they saw three cars pull up, Methos and Phyllis got out of one, Connor the next, and Joe the other.

"What the hell is this?" Richie asked, " a peep show?"

"A little birdie told me you two were getting married," Phyllis said.

"So what? You had to tell Bud and Lou about this?" Richie asked.

"Now what're you getting so worked up about?" Connor asked, "I know how to keep my mouth shut."

"Well you better do a lot of that during your stay," Amber said.

"Oh be quiet," Phyllis said, "let's get this wedding started.

They went in and saw there was a lot more to the house than it seemed, inside it was lit by hundreds of white candles, and the floors were practically covered with red rose petals. Methos went on ahead of them into the living room to get ready, the others stayed in the hallway, talking amongst themselves.

"Well now this is a bit fancier than we thought it'd be," Richie said.

"You're telling me…I've never been to a wedding where they decorate with…oh that's right…not counting Mac and Amanda's…I've never been to a wedding," Amber said.

"I've been to a couple…but one thing's for sure, they've never been like this," Richie said.

"You two have no idea how excited we are to be here tonight," Phyllis said.

"Probably as excited as us," Richie guessed.

"I think even more so," Phyllis laughed, "…do you have a ring?"

Amber showed Phyllis the ring, at first, Phyllis didn't know what to say, it was a gold ring with a skull on it. "I get it," she said after a few seconds, "that's so your father won't get suspicious about it, right?"

"Right."

"Well Richie…you'll need a ring too, for the ceremony."

"I don't have one."

Phyllis took the ring off her hand and gave it to Richie, "well now you do."

"Wasn't this your wedding ring?"

"Oh Lord, no…" Phyllis giggled, "I never wore one…this is just something from the family…it means nothing to me."

"If you're sure…"

Phyllis looked ahead into the living room, "I think it's time to start."

Richie and Amber headed into the living room with the others behind them, they walked up to Methos, who was ready to start the ceremony.

"Dearly beloved," he started, "we are gathered here tonight to join this man, and this woman…in unholy matrimony…"

"Ah malarkey," Phyllis said, "matrimony is matrimony, so let's get on with it."

"Before we do, I would like to say that in my life, I have been a chosen minister to many people…seen many marriages occur, very few of them which lasted…now, standing here tonight…we are witnessing yet another marriage, one, that is unlawful, unholy, and unallowable in most of the country…she is a minor, he is eight years her senior, both of them shall live forever…and I still see this marriage as being one to last throughout the years…"

"Honey, this ceremony will last throughout the years," Phyllis said, "scootch the gooch…"

Right…do you, Richard Ryan, take Amber Jenzon to be your unlawfully wedded wife? To…to…hmmmmmm…"

"What? What is it?" Richie asked.

"Maybe you better explain this part," Methos said.

"Oh…allright…I…I…I…oh boy," Richie nervously laughed, "this is bad…I know what I want to say, but I can't say it until we get to the vows."

"Allright, allright…I think I know what to say," Methos said, "do you, Richard Ryan, take Amber Jenzon, to be your wedded wife? To love and honor, in unknown sickness and health, through bad and worse, until the inevitable occurs when one, or both, of you meet your demise?"

Richie nodded, "I do."

There was a sigh of relief from Methos, "And Amber Jenzon, do you take Richard Ryan, to love and honor, in unknown sickness and health, through bad and worse, until the inevitable occurs?"

"I…I…"

Richie looked over at Amber, she was pale and sweating, and it didn't appear to be from anxiety, or sudden cold feet.

"Amber," Methos said.

Amber fell to the floor, face first, Methos and Richie got down and turned her over, she was unconscious.

* * *

"You don't find it odd?" Duncan asked.

"What?"

"That they all had plans for tonight, first Methos, then the kids, and then Connor…"

"If you think about it, it doesn't seem all that odd…Methos and Phyllis have been going out every chance they get, Richie and Amber are always looking for excuses to get out of the house…and Connor…well…he's probably anxious to see what's new in Tampa…"

"You really believe that?"

"Well…it's either that, or he wanted to spend the night anywhere you weren't."

"Funny…"

"Well on the bright side, Duncan…it gives us a chance to be alone…"

"True…"

"Besides, we can worry about them when they get home…"

"I suppose you're right…"

* * *

Amber had been laid out on a table in the dining room, whatever caused her to faint, it hit her hard. Methos had dug out a bottle of smelling salts from his bag, and they had no effect on her, whatsoever.

"I don't get it, what could've happened to her?" Richie asked.

"I'm not sure…I don't believe I've ever seen this happen before, not at a wedding, anyway…I just can't figure it out, she was fine up until that moment."

"Maybe it should be taken as a hint," Phyllis said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Richie asked.

"Amber didn't object to the marriage?"

"No…she was the one that wanted to go through with it right now," Richie said.

Phyllis thought for a minute, "I'm not sure she'd be willing to admit it, but I think Amber got cold feet about the wedding…"

"Well now I seriously doubt that," Methos said, "she was about to burst this morning."

"Yes, but since then, she's had time to consider it, and it could be that this was an involuntary reaction…maybe she doesn't know that she doesn't want to get married just yet."

"What do you mean?" Methos asked.

"Maybe it's all in her subconscious mind right now…when she comes to, if she has enough time to take everything into consideration, she may decide that it's too soon to get married."

"Well the first thing that'll have to happen in order to find out, will be for her to wake up," Methos said.

She remained unconscious for the next two hours, Joe and Connor were long gone by then, they'd left after swearing to say nothing to either Duncan or Amanda. Richie stayed with Amber while Methos and Phyllis stayed in the living room to talk.

Finally she woke up, she stretched and she looked up at Richie, but she had barely opened her eyes, as if it was painful to look.

"Richie?"

"Amber, are you okay?"

"I don't know…my head hurts," she replied in a quiet voice, "what happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"No…what?"

"Well Amber, it's a long story, but first I think we better get you home…"

* * *

Richie and Amber had sneaked back into the house, Amber removed her boots and her jeans and lay in Richie's bed, leaning against the headboard, waiting for him.

"I'm sorry I ruined the wedding tonight…I don't know what happened," Amber said, "I felt fine and then…"

"Amber…" Richie said as he crawled into bed, "I think I know why you passed out."

"You do?"

"Phyllis thinks it was some kind of involuntary bodily reaction…she thinks that subconsciously you really didn't want to get married tonight, and this was your way of getting out of it."

"I doubt it…"

"Yeah, well can you honestly say that you were ready to get married tonight? Because to be honest, I'm not sure I was…I want to get married, but we can wait to do it when we're ready."

"I suppose you have a point," Amber replied.

"Let's face it, Amber…whether or not everyone else would know it, marriage is a big deal…next fall you're going back on the wrestling team, I don't want to have to rearrange every guy's testicles there and say 'hey you jackass, you better leave my wife alone!'"

Amber laughed, "True…Richie…"

"Yeah?"

Amber wrapped her arms around Richie and stayed close to him.

"Are you allright?" he asked.

"I love you…"

"…I love you, too…"

"You know what, Richie?"

"What?"

"You're really too nice for your own good…"

"That's what they keep telling me."

* * *

Connor stretched and yawned as he got out of bed, "boy oh boy, what a night…all that howling and screaming and shrieking…Duncan sure got himself a hell of a wife…"

Connor heard someone lightly tapping at his door, "come in."

The door slowly opened, and Amanda slipped in, "Connor, did I wake you?"

"No…what're you doing in here? Why aren't you down the hall, entertaining your husband?"

"I wanted to ask you something," Amanda said.

"Sorry Amanda," Connor said as he rolled onto his side, "but I don't go for that three-way stuff."

"No, nothing like that…"

"Oh…then I think I'm interested…what is it?" he asked.

"Is something going on here that I should know about?" she asked.

"Why Amanda, I don't know what you're talking about," Connor said in a clueless manner.

"You know very well what's going on...something happened tonight, and you're not telling us about it."

"Oh please, Amanda, if I knew anything, do you think I'd keep it a secret from you?"

"Yes."

"You're right, I would…"

"Connor…"

"Allright, allright…I'll tell you, but if I do, you can't tell Duncan anything…"

"Ooh," Amanda said, "sounds promising, tell me more."


	12. Chapter 12

"I tell you Amber, I'm going to help you find a job today," Richie said as they came down the back stairs.

"Save your breath," Amber said, "I've done all the looking I could, I applied…now I'm waiting, every place that I applied to said they'd call within a few days, and let me know if I get it."

"What kind of jobs did you apply for?"

"Oh…caretaker…bodyguard…nanny…bartender…that sort of stuff."

"Nanny?" Duncan repeated, "you mean someone would actually trust you with their kids?"

"Weird, ain't it?" Amber asked.

"So how was it last night?" Duncan asked.

"What?" they asked.

"Well…did Joanne say yes or no?"

"No…man…Richie didn't tell you what happened? She tried to hit Jason, instead she hit me and it knocked me out."

"Ouch…"

"Yeah…"

"So what're you going to do today?"

"I'm going to see Shane, I haven't seen him in a while," Amber said.

"Would he still be at the cemetery?"

"No, by now he's probably at work…"

"What's he do?" Duncan asked.

"Demolition…he tears down old buildings and condemned houses so new ones that be put up," Amber said, "it's really amazing seeing him take whole places apart with a crowbar and a sledgehammer."

"Why don't you try out for a job there?" Duncan asked.

"You think I haven't thought of that already? They're full up…unless someone screws up, or dies…they don't have room for anyone else…"

Amber headed out the back door and left for the cemetery.

"Nanny…caretaker…can you believe that?" Richie asked.

"No…but at least she is looking for work…you know, Richie…it wouldn't hurt if you got a job over the summer as well…"

"Mac…don't start."

"Fine…but do something, don't waste the summer away…"

* * *

"You killed two Watchers?" Amber asked.

"Yes…"

"Oh boy…what did they look like?"

"Well…they were both young, and tall…one had short red hair, the other had long blonde hair…and they were both wielding swords…"

"They came after you?" Amber asked.

"Yes…."

"Then they deserved to die…what did you do with the bodies?" Amber asked.

"I didn't do anything…after a while, other Watchers came…they put the bodies in a dumpster and took it away…"

"Boy oh boy…are you sure they were Watchers? You saw their tattoos?"

"Yes, not very easily, but I saw them."

"Well…I don't think you have anything to worry about, they're not anyone we know, and if they tried to kill you, then you just did what you had to do."

"So you're not mad?"

"I'm mad, allright…at the damn Watchers, you would think after losing 50-some of their men because of Immortals, that they would've learned their lesson by now."

* * *

Amanda and Amber sat at the kitchen table with a thick layer of notebook sheets in between them, a few had already been discarded, Amanda had one in her hand.

"Wanted…antique shop manager requires young worker to unload trucks and set up displays…"

"Instant hernia," Amber said, "moving on…"

"Wanted…nanny…employers, married couple…seven children…15…13…11… 9…8…6 and 4…"

"They don't need a nanny…they need Superman…"

"Allright…wanted…female bartender, must be at least 18, and have a nice…never mind that one…"

"Sounds like my last job…"

"Wanted: Caretaker for old house, 3 floors and basement, 67 rooms, all windows have bars in them, only one door leading out, no electricity, no phone…"

"No way," Amber added, "moving on…"

"Wanted, private work after 10 o' clock…" Amanda crumbled up the note and threw it away, "…wanted, escort for young woman…"

"How young are we talking? I mean, am I escorting her to a job or to kindergarten?" Amber asked.

"Says she's 18…"

"Why's she need an escort?"

"Some sort of tradition in her family…"

"Forget it…family traditions are always bad when it comes to a job…"

"Okay…wanted waitress for graveyard shift…must be friendly, sociable, and…"

"Ain't gonna happen," Amber said.

Duncan had overheard them and came into the kitchen, "what's going on?"

"Oh…we're trying to decide on a suiting job for Amber," Amanda said.

"Yeah, but so far…nothing…"

"How about this? Wanted, bouncer…must be at least 18, tolerant to violence, bloodshed, disturbing behavior…and 200 pound drunks…"

"You're making that up," Duncan said.

"Nope," Amanda replied.

"Do they say how much?" Amber asked.

"Eight bucks an hour."

"Eight bucks an hour?" Amber repeated, "that's unbelievable, usually the only kind of job that pays that kind of money is something more like you'd find in the personals column of the newspaper."

* * *

"Let's see…eight bucks an hour…five hours a night…five nights a week…so, I should have enough to get that car in…another lifetime…"

"Why are they paying you so much to work here?" Shelby asked.

"Cuz I'm always on my feet, at this place, there's always at least 3 guys drunk out of their minds and looking for trouble," Amber explained.

"And Richie doesn't mind you working here?"

"He wouldn't have much time to notice anyway, he's got a job himself…but he won't tell me what it is."

"Maybe it's better you don't know, maybe it's one of those 'can't tell ya or I gotta kill ya' jobs."

"I seriously doubt it, Richie's not intelligent enough to get a job like that…"

Little did Amber know that Richie's job wasn't too far off, in fact, he was working right across the street from the bar she was a bouncer for. The place was Club Xtacy, a strip club that had many dancers of both genders, Richie had gotten a job as a dancer, his stage name was the Shadow, and already he'd become notorious for getting down to wearing nothing but a black silk mask and tight black shorts. The women went crazy when he came out on stage, they were tossing money at him from every direction, a few women tried to get on the stage to touch him.

Richie decided to stop teasing them momentarily, so he made his way down to the tables and did an amateur bump and grind for their viewing pleasure, then he gave some a lap dance. Some of the women he was sure were going to faint, you'd think they'd never seen a man before. Richie had the misfortune of seeing some of the other male dancers, some were a bit leaner than he was, some had extremely skimpy outfits which went fine with their Brazilian waxes, some of them had bigger breasts than the women…all the same, he couldn't figure why the women were going crazy over him, but he liked it. It was a sure sign of returning customers, and the money was good.

Speaking of which, several of the women stuffed hundred dollar bills into his shorts as he stood up again.

"You're going home already?" Shelby asked.

"Why not? I'm through for the night…in fact it's a miracle I didn't get fired," Amber said.

"Come on…let's go across the street first."

"Why?"

"I want to see what kind of men they have in there…"

"You know what kind of men they have in there…strippers."

"Amber…"

"Forget it, Shelby…I'm going home…you want to go look at naked baboons, that's your own business…goodnight."

"Amber, please…I don't like the idea of going in there alone…"

"Why not? You afraid one of the employees will take his job too seriously?"

"Amber, please…"

"Allright, but let's get going soon, I want to get some sleep before the sun comes up."

They headed across the street, they got in and got a table near the stage. Shelby watched some of the male dancers while Amber booed and heckled them…instead of throwing money at them, she threw eggs. They quickly disappeared off the stage, and some different ones came on. While Shelby watched, Amber was about to drift off when she felt the presence of another Immortal, she opened her eyes and saw the next act come out on the stage.

"It's Richie!" she screamed.

"What?" Shelby asked, "are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

Amber got out of her seat and headed for the stage, but a man caught her and stopped her. She turned around and acted like she was going to leave…but she was going to get to Richie…one way or another…

* * *

Richie's act had ended for the night, he went back to the dressing room to empty out his shorts and count his profits for the night. As he went back there, he felt the presence of another Immortal and found Amber had been hiding out in the room, along with Shelby.

"What're you guys doing here?" he asked.

"We came to see you," Amber said.

"What? How'd you find out I was working here?" Richie asked.

"Well…Shelby brought me here because she didn't want to come in alone, and she came because she wanted to see some of the men who work here…and surprise-surprise, out came you," Amber explained.

"We tried to get to you before, but security wouldn't let us," Shelby said, "so…now that we're here, I can give you a little tip."

Shelby pulled a 50 out of her pocket and slipped it beneath the waistband of his shorts, giggling the entire time she did it.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll head home now," she said.

She made her way out of the room and they figured out of the club entirely, leaving the two of them in semi-privacy.

"Richie…why're you working here?" Amber asked.

"It's no big deal…I do a little dance, I take off a few clothes, I entertain a few older women…"

"Yeah well it may be that now, but what happens when one of these days, a woman wants more than just a peep show and a lap dance?" Amber asked, "Richie, you could get yourself hurt in this business, you know that?"

"And what? Being a bouncer is safer?" Richie asked.

"Maybe…at least when I get into a fight with someone, it's cuz they're drunk and they don't want to be thrown out…here, you don't know what's going to happen."

"You don't know what could happen at your job either…"

"At least my job isn't entertaining people who want sex with me…"

"Amber…it doesn't get that bad…"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah…most of the guys working here, they never even get down to being completely naked…this isn't as bad as some of those real raunchy places…this is more like a…a…"

"A what?"

"Well you know how they call topless bars 'gentlemen clubs'?"

"Yeah."

"Think of this one as being for both genders."

"I still don't like it, Richie…"

"You don't have to…you just have to stop trying to ruin it for me…look, I'm not going to do this thing for long, I'll do it a few weeks, maybe a month or so, then it'll be over."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Richie…I'm not going to say a word, but if Mac finds out about this, you know your ass is in the fire, right?"

"He's not going to find out."

"Are you sure?"

"Who's going to tell him?"

* * *

"You know Amber…if you weren't out until 3 in the morning at this new job, you wouldn't feel so bad when you wake up five hours later," Amanda told her.

"Well I gotta work…besides, Amanda…when it comes to me and sleep, there is no middle, it's either I sleep too much or not enough, which would you prefer?"

"So how is this new job?" Amanda asked.

"Fine…fine…it keeps me on my feet…every time you turn around, there's someone else who needs to leave…unfortunately they might be docking my paycheck to replace the window I threw a guy out of…"

"Amber, why'd you do that?"

"It was easier than the door…besides, after the first guy went out, every time I had to throw someone out, I just threw them out the hole in the wall where the window used to be."

"It's a wonder you didn't get fired…"

"Na, my boss likes it, in fact I suggested to save time and money, we just keep the hole there, we just cover it up with a large board until the place opens up and then we throw the drunks out through it."

Amber got up from the table and strapped an old camera case over her shoulder, it had a long strap to it, so she wore it low on the side. She'd been using it to carry things around in…not so much like a purse, more like a handy suitcase, she kept in it her cigarettes, some loose money, a switchblade, a camera, and any other small things she might pick up during the day.

"I don't believe you," Amanda laughed.

"No? Then why don't you come down tonight and see for yourself?"

"Maybe I will…"

"Good…"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Fine!" Amber said, "what're we talking about?"

"Amanda!" Duncan called from the front door, "there's a farm out here!"

"What?" Amanda asked.

"What?" Amber asked.

They went over to the front door, passing Methos on the way.

"Who?" he asked.

They got out on the front porch beside Duncan and saw chickens, roosters, geese, cats, dogs, mice, a potbellied pig, baby chicks, ducks, cranes, even a young ostrich, all running around the front yard.

"Oh my Lord," Amanda said.

"Richie get out here!" Amber called, "it's roundup time!"

"What?" Richie came running out and almost slipped off the porch, "whoa!"

"Whoa is right, come on, let's get them," Amber said.

"Hold on!" Duncan said, "you're not going anywhere just yet."

"What?" they asked.

"Who do all these animals belong to?" Amanda asked.

"They belong to Maureen Widen up at the corner across the street," Methos said.

"Her?" Duncan asked, "she's over 60 years old, what's she doing with a bunch of barnyard animals?"

"Hey, you got your hobbies," Amanda said, "she's got hers…"

"Come on Richie, let's get them back there before something happens."

Richie and Amber jumped off the porch and went straight at them. First, Amber gathered up all the mice and baby chicks into her camera case and she took them home…Richie tried to pick up the cats but he wound up unintentionally swinging them by their tails and throwing them across the street. Next he tried to move one of the dogs, he grabbed it by its collar and jerked, but the dog wouldn't move. The next thing Richie knew, he was on the back of the potbelly pig who was running wild with him as a passenger.

Duncan, Amanda and Methos watched the show from the porch and laughed, it was turning into quite a show. Just then, Connor came out wondering what all the noise was about, he got his answer when he saw Richie getting thrown around but staying on the pig, like someone riding a wild bull.

"Well…looks like Richie's found someone to play with," Connor said.

After a bit of a bumpy travel, somehow the pig threw Richie off and he rolled onto the ground, hitting his mouth against a rock hidden in the grass. Richie got up, wiped his mouth and looked at the pig, "come here you…I'm going to make fried bacon out of you."

Richie started chasing after the pig, but he just went in the other direction and Richie couldn't catch him. Out of nowhere, the ostrich came up and banged its head against Richie's groin, knocking him on the ground with his crossed eyes rolling back in his head.

Amber had returned and saw Richie lying on the ground, so she went over to him and helped him up. Their next problem was getting the remaining animals back across the street, so they tried the dogs again, but again, the dogs wouldn't move, while they tried to think of a way to get them to move, the pig came back around and swept up Richie back onto its back again. This time the pig headed out of the yard, across the street, and up to Maureen's front yard, where once again, the pig somehow threw Richie off, but this time he landed in the hedges.

Amber had had enough of the dogs acting like lawn jockeys, so she picked one up and carried it like a baby over to Maureen's house and dropped it off in the yard. That one was a mixture Shitzu and sheepdog, and only about 20 pounds, so it was easy to carry, then Amber went back and got another one, a rat terrier, she carried it under her arm like a salami and took it back. Then she came back for another one, it was a fat Dachshund-terrier, it had a big stomach and back, and it looked like two butts. But he was still small enough for Amber to put under her arm like a salami and she took him back too…

Methos jumped off the porch and got the cranes and the ostrich and took them back home. Amber came back for another dog to carry, but the surprise was on her, the next dog was a Great Dane who jumped on her and knocked her to the ground and licked her face. Richie had gotten out of the hedges and gotten back, he helped Amber up and they tried to grab the birds. Richie got his hands on a goose who pecked on his nose with its beak, Amber grabbed up a rooster after ripping off his tail feathers, he was squawking up a storm because of it. Methos came back and got his hands on a duck that tried to fly away, but it got its wings stuck inside of his coat, so basically he had a duck hanging in front of him. He decided it was good enough and took it home.

They came back and managed to get the rest of the ducks and the geese and the roosters, but they couldn't grab the chickens. Every time they tried, a chicken would bite them and go away. Shane came up and saw the ruckus and he went after the chickens and he grabbed them one by one and took them home. They clucked and squawked and made a lot of noise, and Shane spanked them as he took them home.

"Bad chicken, bad, bad, bad chicken," he called them.

Finally, all the animals were taken back over to Maureen's house where they were her problem once again.

"Thanks for getting rid of them, Shane," Amber said.

"No problem…I've done it before…"

"You have?" Amanda asked.

"Oh yes, her animals get out all the time," Shane explained, "especially her chickens…so I have to take them home to her."

"Amazing," Amanda said.

"Not really…"

"I mean, that woman has all those animals, and the board of health doesn't say anything," Amanda said.

"You think that's something, you should've known her when she had a pair of mules who slept under her bed."

"Shane," Duncan said, "I don't think those were the same kinds of mules that you're thinking about."

"Sure they are, I saw them with my own eyes," Shane said, "two full-grown asses."

Everyone looked at each other in disbelief.

"I just don't believe the things you're saying," Amanda said.

"It's true…"

"I believe that, but I still can't believe it…it's all very confusing…I'm confused just saying it."

* * *

"You see, Amanda? I got a good job…the boss isn't an ass, and the pay's actually decent," Amber said.

"So I see," Amanda said.

"Well…now I think I'll go to the Black and White All Night Theater," Amber said, "they're showing 'Peck's Bad Boy' tonight, and I want to see it."

"Wait a minute Amber, have you ever been over there?" Amanda pointed to Club Xtacy.

"Uh…yeah, a couple of times…"

"What's it like over there? Do they have good looking men?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a married woman?" Amber asked.

"Like it's ever stopped me before, huh?" Amanda asked, "so tell me, what kind of men do they have over there?"

"Oh you wouldn't like them," Amber told her, "they're very skinny, and very pale, and it is grotesque watching them…it's like watching a bunch of Methos' strip."

"You've got to be kidding."

"No, not really…besides, the majority of the acts are all women, and I don't think you want to see them," Amber said.

"Not unless Duncan's coming here."

"He doesn't…you know that, you're with him every night…now come on, let's go."

Amber tugged on Amanda's wrist until she finally agreed, and they headed over to the theater. Amber sighed in relief, she had kept Richie from being found out, and he still had his job, but this was going to be a weird summer, already she could tell.


End file.
